Guy walks into a bar

MajorCaptSilly · 08-29-2009, 02:41 PM

A guy walks into a bar with a live chicken under his arm. The bartender says "You can't have a chicken in the bar". The man then takes the chicken from under his arm and eats it whole. He says to the bartender "I hope your happy! Now I'm gonna have get a new harpsichord!"

MCS

Starscream · 08-29-2009, 02:48 PM

A man walks into a bar...

Ouch!

Blindjimme · 08-29-2009, 02:54 PM

A live chicken...

a harpsichord...

.... wait, is this a test?

Kreth · 08-29-2009, 05:37 PM

A baby seal walks into a club.
Posted via Mobile Device

icehog3 · 08-30-2009, 01:33 AM

Knock knock.

McSmokey · 08-30-2009, 02:05 AM

Who's there

MajorCaptSilly · 08-30-2009, 11:46 AM

It's 1972 and a man walks into a bar with a live goose under hs arm. The bartender says "You can't have live geese in here, man!". The guy says "But I'm a Cubs fan". The bartender then says "Come here and I will splash you with some Vermouth for free.".

MCS

icehog3 · 08-30-2009, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by McSmokey

Who's there

Scott's harpsicord.

Texan in Mexico · 08-30-2009, 12:38 PM

What, and give up show business?

Starscream · 08-30-2009, 05:11 PM

A guy walks into a bar. Two hours later he walks out drunk off his @$$!

MajorCaptSilly · 08-30-2009, 07:24 PM

Two guys walk into a bar. One is holding a picture of Jack Benny, the other, a picture of Lenny Bruce. The bartender says "We are all out of manilla envelopes."

MCS

08-30-2009, 07:27 PM

A sandwich walks into a bar and orders dinner. The bartender says, we don't serve food here.

Starscream · 08-31-2009, 07:36 PM

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

MajorCaptSilly · 08-31-2009, 07:49 PM

The Blues walks into a bar and says "I got the damn blues dammit!"

MCS

Starscream · 08-31-2009, 07:56 PM

A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar. Wait...
What the hell are a rabbi, a priest, and a minister doing in a bar?

Mr.Maduro · 09-01-2009, 07:40 AM

There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"

09-01-2009, 08:44 AM

This reads like a british comedy....I'm not sure if I should be laughing, but others seem to be enjoying it.

MajorCaptSilly · 09-01-2009, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr.Maduro

There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?"

That was beautiful!

MCS

Mr.Maduro · 09-01-2009, 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

That was beautiful!

MCS

I had a feeling you would enjoy that. My friend and I have been telling that one for years.

MajorCaptSilly · 09-01-2009, 08:58 AM

A Ziggy comic walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I'm having a "Ziggy" day. What drink can you recommend for someone having a "Ziggy" day?" The bartender says " I never liked Ziggy. I've always been more of a Tank Mcnamara guy. How about some Gin and Drano?"

MCS

08-29-2009, 02:41 PM	#1
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar with a live chicken under his arm. The bartender says "You can't have a chicken in the bar". The man then takes the chicken from under his arm and eats it whole. He says to the bartender "I hope your happy! Now I'm gonna have get a new harpsichord!" MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

08-29-2009, 02:48 PM	#2
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A man walks into a bar... Ouch! __________________ Insert quote here.

08-29-2009, 02:54 PM	#3
Blindjimme Judgement Impaired Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: JB Location: North OC, CA Posts: 790 Trading: (14)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A live chicken... a harpsichord... .... wait, is this a test?

08-29-2009, 05:37 PM	#4
Kreth Ronin smoker Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Jeff Location: Oneonta, NY Posts: 3,620 Trading: (14)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A baby seal walks into a club. Posted via Mobile Device

08-30-2009, 01:33 AM	#5
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,440 Trading: (60)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Knock knock. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

08-30-2009, 02:05 AM	#6
McSmokey Feeling at Home Join Date: Aug 2009 First Name: Justin Location: Tuscaloosa, AL Posts: 948 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Who's there

08-30-2009, 11:46 AM	#7
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar It's 1972 and a man walks into a bar with a live goose under hs arm. The bartender says "You can't have live geese in here, man!". The guy says "But I'm a Cubs fan". The bartender then says "Come here and I will splash you with some Vermouth for free.". MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

08-30-2009, 12:38 PM	#9
Texan in Mexico Feeling at Home Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Travis Location: Puerto Morelos, Mexico Posts: 958 Trading: (0)	Re: Guy walks into a bar What, and give up show business?

08-30-2009, 05:11 PM	#10
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar. Two hours later he walks out drunk off his @$$! __________________ Insert quote here.

08-30-2009, 07:24 PM	#11
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Two guys walk into a bar. One is holding a picture of Jack Benny, the other, a picture of Lenny Bruce. The bartender says "We are all out of manilla envelopes." MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

08-30-2009, 07:27 PM	#12
DoctorBJ Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Guy walks into a bar A sandwich walks into a bar and orders dinner. The bartender says, we don't serve food here.

08-31-2009, 07:36 PM	#13
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Orange you glad I didn't say banana? __________________ Insert quote here.

08-31-2009, 07:49 PM	#14
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar The Blues walks into a bar and says "I got the damn blues dammit!" MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

08-31-2009, 07:56 PM	#15
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walked into a bar. Wait... What the hell are a rabbi, a priest, and a minister doing in a bar? __________________ Insert quote here.

09-01-2009, 07:40 AM	#16
Mr.Maduro In Domino Confido Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Patrick Location: La Casa del Blueface Posts: 2,905 Trading: (83)	Re: Guy walks into a bar There are two elephants in the bath tub taking a shower. One elephant says to the other, "Can you please pass the soap?" the other elephant says "What do I look like, a shoe?" __________________ "Patrick...You low-rent f#@k!!!" - MACMS (Shack V)

09-01-2009, 08:44 AM	#17
SchizoFilly Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Guy walks into a bar This reads like a british comedy....I'm not sure if I should be laughing, but others seem to be enjoying it.

09-01-2009, 08:58 AM	#20
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A Ziggy comic walks into a bar and says "Bartender, I'm having a "Ziggy" day. What drink can you recommend for someone having a "Ziggy" day?" The bartender says " I never liked Ziggy. I've always been more of a Tank Mcnamara guy. How about some Gin and Drano?" MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?