Guy walks into a bar - Page 3

Chainsaw13 · 08-31-2010, 07:44 PM

These two hippos, Joe and Jake, walk into a bar and have a seat at a table. They order their drinks and while waiting Joe starts telling Jake about his day. "Jake, you'll never believe it. I"m minding my own business at the water hole and this Jeep drives up. Out jumps the white hair dude from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. He levels a rifle at me and fires. I feel a pinch and see a dart sticking out of my shoulder. Next thing you know the world goes dark. I wake up all groggy and have this damn tag in my ear now".

Just then a sheep at the next table leans over and says, "I can't help but overhear your conversation. Same thing happend to me today". The sheep flips his ear over to show a shiny new tag.

Joe looks and Jake and says, "Hey Jake, look at this, a sheep that can talk".

JaKaacH · 08-31-2010, 08:07 PM

Flo the Progresseve insurance gal and the GeIC0 gecko walk into a bar.
The bartender sees them, pulls out a sawed off shotgun and puts them out of our misery.

markem · 08-31-2010, 08:10 PM

and had to be operated on

Chainsaw13 · 08-31-2010, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaKaacH

Flo the Progresseve insurance gal and the GeIC0 gecko walk into a bar.
The bartender sees them, pulls out a sawed off shotgun and puts them out of our misery.

Matt-N-Ga · 08-31-2010, 08:48 PM

Two guys walk into a bar...the third guy ducked and laughed "drunk dumb asses"!!!!!

cort · 08-31-2010, 08:58 PM

Guy drives into a bar.

Kreth · 08-31-2010, 09:00 PM

A baby seal walks into a club.
Posted via Mobile Device

G G · 08-31-2010, 09:02 PM

a club walks into a bar and was told to beat it.

shilala · 08-31-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chainsaw13

These two hippos, Joe and Jake, walk into a bar and have a seat at a table. They order their drinks and while waiting Joe starts telling Jake about his day. "Jake, you'll never believe it. I"m minding my own business at the water hole and this Jeep drives up. Out jumps the white hair dude from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. He levels a rifle at me and fires. I feel a pinch and see a dart sticking out of my shoulder. Next thing you know the world goes dark. I wake up all groggy and have this damn tag in my ear now".

Just then a sheep at the next table leans over and says, "I can't help but overhear your conversation. Same thing happend to me today". The sheep flips his ear over to show a shiny new tag.

Joe looks and Jake and says, "Hey Jake, look at this, a sheep that can talk".

Marlin Perkins is the badassest.

Kreth · 08-31-2010, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shilala

Marlin Perkins is the badassest.

Marlin was a wuss. He was always watching from the helicopter while Jim got breechloaded by some pissed off predator.
"Get 'em, Jim!"

cort · 08-31-2010, 09:28 PM

A bar walks into a guy............Yowzers!

Parshooter · 09-01-2010, 11:53 AM

Two blondes walk into a bar, you'd think the second one would have seen it.

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar, the bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Da Klugs · 09-01-2010, 12:37 PM

A guy walks into a bar....

Orders a shot
and another
and another
and another
and another

bartender says ... hey buddy everything Ok?

Guys says... sure, just had my first BJ today.

bartender... well let me buy you one on the house.

Guy... no thanks if 5 cant get that taste out of my mouth....

md4958 · 09-01-2010, 12:48 PM

Texan in Mexico · 09-01-2010, 12:49 PM

I hobble into a bar, bartender says "Knee problem?", I answer no I´m just a fungi

357 · 09-01-2010, 12:52 PM

A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"

09-21-2010, 10:00 PM

The internet goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he knows any good jokes.
The bartender leans forward and says "Who is John Galt?"

MajorCaptSilly · 09-22-2010, 06:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BC-Axeman

The internet goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he knows any good jokes.
The bartender leans forward and says "Who is John Galt?"

Beautiful!

MCS

08-31-2010, 07:44 PM	#41
Chainsaw13 Møøse bites can be nasty Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Bob Location: The Enchanted Mitten Posts: 7,198 Trading: (96)	Re: Guy walks into a bar These two hippos, Joe and Jake, walk into a bar and have a seat at a table. They order their drinks and while waiting Joe starts telling Jake about his day. "Jake, you'll never believe it. I"m minding my own business at the water hole and this Jeep drives up. Out jumps the white hair dude from Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom. He levels a rifle at me and fires. I feel a pinch and see a dart sticking out of my shoulder. Next thing you know the world goes dark. I wake up all groggy and have this damn tag in my ear now". Just then a sheep at the next table leans over and says, "I can't help but overhear your conversation. Same thing happend to me today". The sheep flips his ear over to show a shiny new tag. Joe looks and Jake and says, "Hey Jake, look at this, a sheep that can talk". __________________ My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums.

08-31-2010, 08:07 PM	#42
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Flo the Progresseve insurance gal and the GeIC0 gecko walk into a bar. The bartender sees them, pulls out a sawed off shotgun and puts them out of our misery. __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

08-31-2010, 08:10 PM	#43
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Guy walks into a bar and had to be operated on __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

08-31-2010, 08:48 PM	#45
Matt-N-Ga MattGah Join Date: Oct 2009 First Name: Matt Location: Acworth, Ga Posts: 316 Trading: (4)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Two guys walk into a bar...the third guy ducked and laughed "drunk dumb asses"!!!!!

08-31-2010, 08:58 PM	#46
cort ◤◢◣◥ Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gary Posts: 4,478 Trading: (41)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Guy drives into a bar.

08-31-2010, 09:00 PM	#47
Kreth Ronin smoker Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Jeff Location: Oneonta, NY Posts: 3,620 Trading: (14)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A baby seal walks into a club. Posted via Mobile Device

08-31-2010, 09:02 PM	#48
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: Guy walks into a bar a club walks into a bar and was told to beat it.

08-31-2010, 09:28 PM	#51
cort ◤◢◣◥ Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gary Posts: 4,478 Trading: (41)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A bar walks into a guy............Yowzers!

09-01-2010, 11:53 AM	#52
Parshooter I'm a friend of Gary S Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Marc Location: St Somewhere Posts: 835 Trading: (2)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Two blondes walk into a bar, you'd think the second one would have seen it. A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop. A priest, a nun, and a rabbi walk into a bar, the bartender says "What is this, some kind of joke?" __________________ I love chicks with FLBP.

09-01-2010, 12:37 PM	#53
Da Klugs Juan of 11 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dave Location: Right here Posts: 4,222 Trading: (8)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar.... Orders a shot and another and another and another and another bartender says ... hey buddy everything Ok? Guys says... sure, just had my first BJ today. bartender... well let me buy you one on the house. Guy... no thanks if 5 cant get that taste out of my mouth.... __________________ Communities Not Commodities. Punctuation challenged, but trying. Proud winner of phase 1 of the Weight loss contest

09-01-2010, 12:48 PM	#54
md4958 Captain Cannoli Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Moe Location: Suffield, CT Posts: 5,712 Trading: (62)	Re: Guy walks into a bar __________________ "One fart can foul the air for everyone" - Esteemed philosopher "If avoiding the nasty $hit is being a snob, them I am guilty as charged."- Same esteemed philosopher.

09-01-2010, 12:49 PM	#55
Texan in Mexico Feeling at Home Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Travis Location: Puerto Morelos, Mexico Posts: 958 Trading: (0)	Re: Guy walks into a bar I hobble into a bar, bartender says "Knee problem?", I answer no I´m just a fungi

09-01-2010, 12:52 PM	#56
357 Will herf for food Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mike Location: Home is where I park it Posts: 4,075 Trading: (9)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?" __________________ “Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar;” Mark Twain

09-21-2010, 10:00 PM	#57
BC-Axeman Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Guy walks into a bar The internet goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he knows any good jokes. The bartender leans forward and says "Who is John Galt?"