Christmas Groaners

Steve · 12-06-2018, 08:33 AM

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true, Comet cleans sinks

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer)

Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else.

What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime?
Sandy Claws!

Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E?
Because the angel had said,"No L!"

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey, - he is always stuffed.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.

What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!

A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.
Clerk: "What denomination?"
Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic."

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes.

Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas?
A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L)

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him.

Tio Gato · 12-06-2018, 09:22 AM

BigAsh · 12-06-2018, 09:48 AM

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer)

this one took me a bit....

CigarNut · 12-06-2018, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigAsh

How many reindeer does Santa Have???
10 (named below)
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen
Rudolph (the one with the red nose)
Olive (Olive the other reindeer)

this one took me a bit....

Me too

jwintosh · 12-06-2018, 03:06 PM

how do you catch a polar bear? cut a hole in the ice. put frozen peas around the hole. and when the polar bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

12-06-2018, 08:33 AM	#1
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Christmas Groaners What do elves learn in school? The Elf-abet Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true, Comet cleans sinks How many reindeer does Santa Have??? 10 (named below) Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen Rudolph (the one with the red nose) Olive (Olive the other reindeer) Mom, can I have a dog for Christmas? No, you can have turkey like everyone else. What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmastime? Sandy Claws! Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E? Because the angel had said,"No L!" Who is never hungry at Christmas? The turkey, - he is always stuffed. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective? Santa Clues! A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. Clerk: "What denomination?" Woman: "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this? Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic." What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes. Q: What does Father Christmas write on his cards at Christmas? A: ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (no-L) Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters? They both drop their needles. Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him. __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

12-06-2018, 09:22 AM	#2
Tio Gato Uncle Kitty Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Casa Grande, AZ Posts: 2,075 Trading: (11)	Re: Christmas Groaners __________________ "You stink like cigars Uncle Kitty!" Said my Boo age 3. "Kid, take care of your family and the hell with anyone else" My Grandpa Bubba.

12-06-2018, 09:48 AM	#3
BigAsh Don't knock the Ash... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Keith Location: Yardley, PA Posts: 5,046 Trading: (46)	Re: Christmas Groaners How many reindeer does Santa Have??? 10 (named below) Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen Rudolph (the one with the red nose) Olive (Olive the other reindeer) this one took me a bit.... __________________ Keith

12-06-2018, 03:06 PM	#5
jwintosh i have a confirmation #!! Join Date: Nov 2008 First Name: Jeffrey Location: San Diego Posts: 1,239 Trading: (15)	Re: Christmas Groaners how do you catch a polar bear? cut a hole in the ice. put frozen peas around the hole. and when the polar bear bends over to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole. __________________ Surf's Up!