Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-09-2014, 09:33 AM   #1
smokin5
Have My Own Room
 
smokin5's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: On the Mountaintop - AZ
Posts: 2,002
Trading: (69)
Bolivar
smokin5 is just really nicesmokin5 is just really nicesmokin5 is just really nicesmokin5 is just really nicesmokin5 is just really nice
Default That Darn Cat

We were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and dancing evening.
We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered
our pet canary, and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local
taxi company and requested a cab to pick us up.

The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house.
As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted
back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because
she always tries to get at the canary. My wife walked on out to the taxi
while I went back inside to get the cat.

The cat ran upstairs with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night.
So she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out soon. "He's just
going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later I got into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said as
we drove away. "That stupid b!tch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her in the ass with a coat hangar to get her to come out! She
tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her
in a blanket to keep her from scratching me, but it worked! Finally I
hauled her fat azz downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
She better not sh!t in the vegetable garden again!"
.
.
The cabbie didn't say a word to us the whole ride.
__________________
Pobody's Nerfect.
smokin5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2014, 09:50 AM   #2
Dave128
Sexy Dave
 
Dave128's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
First Name: Dave
Location: Voorheesville, NY
Posts: 3,922
Trading: (4)
Dave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really niceDave128 is just really nice
Default Re: That Darn Cat

__________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin
I "heart" Boobies and Beer!
Dave128 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2014, 10:07 AM   #3
dave
Have My Own Room
 
dave's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: May 2011
First Name: Dave
Location: Northern VA
Posts: 1,180
Trading: (15)
Partagas Navy (Retired)
dave is a jewel in the roughdave is a jewel in the roughdave is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: That Darn Cat

It's a good thing he didn't hit that **ssy
__________________
I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. Thomas Jefferson
dave is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2014, 11:14 AM   #4
STEVE S
Have My Own Room
 
STEVE S's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Steve
Location: Coconut Creek, Fl.
Posts: 1,092
Trading: (1)
STEVE S is on a distinguished road
Default Re: That Darn Cat

__________________
Smoking cigars is a hobby and a great way to pass the time of day!
STEVE S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2014, 11:32 AM   #5
chaase321
ZOTL's mmmmm brainssss
 
chaase321's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
First Name: Cole
Location: Woodbridge VA
Posts: 2,114
Trading: (81)
Partagas
chaase321 is a jewel in the roughchaase321 is a jewel in the roughchaase321 is a jewel in the roughchaase321 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: That Darn Cat

Dying over here
__________________
ZOTL our appetites will ALWAYS be bigger than your braaaiiiins...
Support the Troop Support Contest 2014!!!
chaase321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2014, 01:30 PM   #6
Porch Dweller
Life is for living
 
Porch Dweller's Avatar
11
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
First Name: James
Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast
Posts: 8,461
Trading: (24)
Bolivar AirForce (Retired)
Porch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: That Darn Cat

__________________
A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone
Porch Dweller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2014, 03:38 PM   #7
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: That Darn Cat

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:26 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.