Hitman golfer

Blak Smyth · 07-11-2012, 12:56 PM

Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.'

'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?'

'I'm a hit man,' was the reply.

'You're joking!' was the response.

'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.'

'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom.. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......He's naked, too!!!

Fuming, he turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?'

'I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.'

'Can you do two for me now?'

'Sure, what do you want?'

'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.'

'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.'

The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few
minutes.

'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently.

'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.....'

Dave128 · 07-11-2012, 01:11 PM

Jefft72 · 07-11-2012, 01:22 PM

Remo · 07-11-2012, 01:42 PM

that is fookin' funny!!

Ogre · 07-11-2012, 04:00 PM

MrWolf55 · 07-11-2012, 04:10 PM

Knew where that one was going before I even got to the punchline

too funny.

kelmac07 · 07-11-2012, 05:19 PM

Parshooter · 07-12-2012, 08:42 AM

Good one

363 · 07-12-2012, 01:36 PM

L o l

area51 · 07-12-2012, 01:38 PM

That was funny

07-11-2012, 12:56 PM	#1
Blak Smyth Think Blue! Join Date: Jun 2011 First Name: SD Location: THE WOOD Posts: 8,486 Trading: (52)	Hitman golfer Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out to them, 'Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up.' 'Sure,' they said, 'You're welcome.' So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends asked the newcomer, 'What do you do for a living?' 'I'm a hit man,' was the reply. 'You're joking!' was the response. 'No, I'm not,' he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. 'Here are my tools.' 'That's a beautiful telescopic sight,' said the other friend, 'Can I take a look? I think I might be able to see my house from here.' So he picked up the rifle and looked through the sight in the direction of his house. 'Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in the window.' 'Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom.. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!! Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her......He's naked, too!!! Fuming, he turned to the hit man, 'How much do you charge for a hit?' 'I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger.' 'Can you do two for me now?' 'Sure, what do you want?' 'First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth.' 'Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his dick off to teach him a lesson.' The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes. 'Are you going to do it or not?' said the friend impatiently. 'Just be patient,' said the hit man calmly, 'I think I can save you a grand here.....' __________________ SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

07-11-2012, 01:11 PM	#2
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: Hitman golfer __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

07-11-2012, 01:22 PM	#3
Jefft72 Still Watching My Back Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Jeff Location: League City, TX Posts: 219 Trading: (2)	Re: Hitman golfer

07-11-2012, 01:42 PM	#4
Remo C.I.A Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: Mike Location: Palm Harbor, Florida Posts: 12,597 Trading: (122)	Re: Hitman golfer that is fookin' funny!! __________________

07-11-2012, 04:00 PM	#5
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Hitman golfer __________________

07-11-2012, 04:10 PM	#6
MrWolf55 Still Watching My Back Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Mike Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 112 Trading: (3)	Re: Hitman golfer Knew where that one was going before I even got to the punchline too funny.

07-11-2012, 05:19 PM	#7
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Hitman golfer __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

07-12-2012, 08:42 AM	#8
Parshooter I'm a friend of Gary S Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Marc Location: St Somewhere Posts: 835 Trading: (2)	Re: Hitman golfer Good one __________________ I love chicks with FLBP.

07-12-2012, 01:36 PM	#9
363 Infecting Via PM Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Brendon Location: Maryland Posts: 1,773 Trading: (35)	Re: Hitman golfer L o l

07-12-2012, 01:38 PM	#10
area51 Blowing Smoke Rings Join Date: Sep 2010 First Name: Ken Location: Tejas Posts: 1,259 Trading: (3)	Re: Hitman golfer That was funny __________________