A big bunch of BAD jokes...

DMK · 07-09-2012, 11:39 AM

Don't say I didn't warn you....

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop
any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned
on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but
I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on
words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job
because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four
seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A
thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen.
Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Earthquake in Washington , D.C. itʼs obviously the government's
fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

MrWolf55 · 07-09-2012, 01:03 PM

I actually laughed at a few of these. Thanks for sharing

area51 · 07-09-2012, 01:07 PM

Wow haha

kelmac07 · 07-09-2012, 01:51 PM

Couple good ones in there.

Ogre · 07-09-2012, 04:05 PM

Darryl, Have you been hanging out with Steve again?????

The Poet · 07-09-2012, 05:08 PM

I guess all the good Canadian comics have already pulled up States.

EricF · 07-09-2012, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ogre

Darryl, Have you been hanging out with Steve again?????

I wondered the same thing!!!

07-09-2012, 11:39 AM	#1
DMK S.O.B. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Darryl Location: Hamilton, ON. Canada. Posts: 2,747 Trading: (86)	A big bunch of BAD jokes... Don't say I didn't warn you.... When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. PMS jokes aren't funny, period. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. Energizer Bunny arrested. Charged with battery. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it! Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off! Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Earthquake in Washington , D.C. itʼs obviously the government's fault. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. __________________ Darryl, SOB...

07-09-2012, 01:03 PM	#2
MrWolf55 Still Watching My Back Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Mike Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 112 Trading: (3)	Re: A big bunch of BAD jokes... I actually laughed at a few of these. Thanks for sharing

07-09-2012, 01:07 PM	#3
area51 Blowing Smoke Rings Join Date: Sep 2010 First Name: Ken Location: Tejas Posts: 1,259 Trading: (3)	Re: A big bunch of BAD jokes... Wow haha __________________

07-09-2012, 01:51 PM	#4
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: A big bunch of BAD jokes... Couple good ones in there. __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

07-09-2012, 04:05 PM	#5
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: A big bunch of BAD jokes... Darryl, Have you been hanging out with Steve again????? __________________

07-09-2012, 05:08 PM	#6
The Poet Il megglior fabbro Join Date: Jun 2009 First Name: Thomas Location: Hickory, NC Posts: 8,420 Trading: (2)	Re: A big bunch of BAD jokes... I guess all the good Canadian comics have already pulled up States. __________________ Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.