New Math & Statistics

Ogre · 03-01-2012, 08:10 PM

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
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GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
_____________________________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
______________________________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
______________________________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
_____________________________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
____________________________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
__________________

kelmac07 · 03-01-2012, 08:13 PM

Skywalker · 03-08-2012, 08:34 AM

I read this!

Steve · 03-08-2012, 08:46 AM

Remo · 03-08-2012, 08:57 AM

Aint it the truth

irratebass · 03-08-2012, 08:58 AM

Wow! There is some truth in this post heh.

Steve · 03-08-2012, 09:02 AM

That Larry can be a pretty smart fella

03-15-2012, 12:57 PM

Powers · 03-15-2012, 01:38 PM

That's great

03-01-2012, 08:10 PM	#1
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	New Math & Statistics ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy ______________________________ OFFICE ARITHMETIC Smart boss + smart employee = profit Smart boss + dumb employee = production Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime _____________________________ SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. ____________________________ GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. _____________________________ HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________ LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die. ______________________________ PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. _____________________________ DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. ____________________________ HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. __________________ __________________

03-01-2012, 08:13 PM	#2
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: New Math & Statistics __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

03-08-2012, 08:34 AM	#3
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: New Math & Statistics I read this! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

03-08-2012, 08:46 AM	#4
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: New Math & Statistics __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

03-08-2012, 08:57 AM	#5
Remo C.I.A Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: Mike Location: Palm Harbor, Florida Posts: 12,597 Trading: (122)	Re: New Math & Statistics Aint it the truth __________________

03-08-2012, 08:58 AM	#6
irratebass EMPEROR TOMPKINS Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Mickey Location: Mooresville, Indiana Posts: 8,313 Trading: (48)	Re: New Math & Statistics Wow! There is some truth in this post heh. __________________

03-08-2012, 09:02 AM	#7
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: New Math & Statistics That Larry can be a pretty smart fella __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

03-15-2012, 12:57 PM	#8
LigaPrivadaT84 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: New Math & Statistics

03-15-2012, 01:38 PM	#9
Powers Swamp Ash member in exile Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Fayetteville, Arkansas Posts: 2,283 Trading: (17)	Re: New Math & Statistics That's great __________________ "There is true glory and true honor: the glory of duty done, the honor of integrity and principle" - Robert E. Lee