The Funeral

irratebass · 02-29-2012, 07:50 AM

The Funeral

A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he
noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby
cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50
feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man
walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about
200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the
man walking the dog and said:

"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb
you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife
when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either."

A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed
between the two men.

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."

sevans105 · 02-29-2012, 08:00 AM

Niiiiiiice. Will the dog do ex-wives? Cuz that would be fan-damn-tastic. Whatever he charged would be cheaper in the long run.

chaase321 · 02-29-2012, 08:02 AM

That is ripe Mickey!

Ogre · 02-29-2012, 08:37 AM

I like it!!!!!

Jefft72 · 02-29-2012, 09:02 AM

Funny! Start out the morning on a good note. Thanks for that.

kelmac07 · 02-29-2012, 11:19 AM

Taki · 02-29-2012, 11:36 AM

Not bad brother

pektel · 02-29-2012, 12:06 PM

Jasonw560 · 02-29-2012, 12:08 PM

Classic!! I love that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sevans105

Niiiiiiice. Will the dog do ex-wives? Cuz that would be fan-damn-tastic. Whatever he charged would be cheaper in the long run.

kaisersozei · 02-29-2012, 02:03 PM

A lad comes home from school and all excited with news for his dad.
"I got a part in the school play!" he said.
"Oh yeah?" said his father. "What are you playing?"
"I play a man who's been married for 25 years."
The dad puts his hand on his son's shoulder and says, “That's okay son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.”

sevans105 · 02-29-2012, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kaisersozei

A lad comes home from school and all excited with news for his dad.
"I got a part in the school play!" he said.
"Oh yeah?" said his father. "What are you playing?"
"I play a man who's been married for 25 years."
The dad puts his hand on his son's shoulder and says, “That's okay son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.”

^ This^ is funny cuz it's TRUE.

02-29-2012, 07:50 AM	#1
irratebass EMPEROR TOMPKINS Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Mickey Location: Mooresville, Indiana Posts: 8,313 Trading: (48)	The Funeral The Funeral A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?" "My wife's." ''What happened to her?" "She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her." He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?" The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either." A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men. "Can I borrow the dog?" The man replied, "Get in line." __________________

02-29-2012, 08:00 AM	#2
sevans105 Alpha Zombie Wolf "Sceve" Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Scott Location: Southern Minnesota Posts: 1,786 Trading: (30)	Re: The Funeral Niiiiiiice. Will the dog do ex-wives? Cuz that would be fan-damn-tastic. Whatever he charged would be cheaper in the long run. __________________

02-29-2012, 08:02 AM	#3
chaase321 ZOTL's mmmmm brainssss Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Cole Location: Woodbridge VA Posts: 2,114 Trading: (81)	Re: The Funeral That is ripe Mickey! __________________ ZOTL our appetites will ALWAYS be bigger than your braaaiiiins... Support the Troop Support Contest 2014!!!

02-29-2012, 08:37 AM	#4
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: The Funeral I like it!!!!! __________________

02-29-2012, 09:02 AM	#5
Jefft72 Still Watching My Back Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Jeff Location: League City, TX Posts: 219 Trading: (2)	Re: The Funeral Funny! Start out the morning on a good note. Thanks for that.

02-29-2012, 11:19 AM	#6
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: The Funeral __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

02-29-2012, 11:36 AM	#7
Taki Welcome to the Layer Cake Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Taki Location: The Creek Posts: 2,271 Trading: (38)	Re: The Funeral Not bad brother __________________

02-29-2012, 12:06 PM	#8
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: The Funeral __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

02-29-2012, 02:03 PM	#10
kaisersozei The Homebrew Hammer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gerard Location: Midlothian, VA Posts: 3,183 Trading: (40)	Re: The Funeral A lad comes home from school and all excited with news for his dad. "I got a part in the school play!" he said. "Oh yeah?" said his father. "What are you playing?" "I play a man who's been married for 25 years." The dad puts his hand on his son's shoulder and says, “That's okay son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part.” __________________