It's a Southern Thang

G G · 12-24-2010, 07:32 AM

Alabama
A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.
"Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied.
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

Georgia
The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Louisiana
A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ."
When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."

Mississippi
The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.
The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep", he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause it says:
'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."

Chainsaw13 · 12-24-2010, 07:52 AM

Good ones Greg. The Georgia one had me in stitches.

kelmac07 · 12-24-2010, 08:41 AM

STEVE S · 12-24-2010, 08:52 AM

guitar4001 · 12-24-2010, 09:00 AM

very funny. they all make sense to me.

Bill86 · 12-24-2010, 12:33 PM

Good jokes, remind me of people that live here...sad

SvilleKid · 12-24-2010, 01:44 PM

You forgot Florida.

Oh wait..... It's a southern thang! That explains it!

Starscream · 12-25-2010, 01:00 PM

The NC and TN are so true. NC dialect is spot on.

dunng · 12-25-2010, 01:59 PM

Steve · 01-13-2011, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ggainey

Alabama
North Carolina
A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Bahahahahahaa!

Mr B · 01-13-2011, 03:50 PM

The Mississippi one made me laugh out loud.

Smokin Gator · 01-13-2011, 04:21 PM

LOL brother... I really can't believe you didn't come up with one for Florida... or a least north Florida!!!

12-24-2010, 07:32 AM	#1
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,720 Trading: (10)	It's a Southern Thang Alabama A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!" Georgia The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings." Louisiana A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana ." When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world." Mississippi The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?" The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number." North Carolina A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was. The man replied, "I have a flat tire." The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?" The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither." Tennessee A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?" Texas The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head." "Yep", he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."

12-24-2010, 07:52 AM	#2
Chainsaw13 Møøse bites can be nasty Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Bob Location: The Enchanted Mitten Posts: 7,144 Trading: (96)	Re: It's a Southern Thang Good ones Greg. The Georgia one had me in stitches. __________________ My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums.

12-24-2010, 08:41 AM	#3
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: It's a Southern Thang __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

12-24-2010, 08:52 AM	#4
STEVE S Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Steve Location: Coconut Creek, Fl. Posts: 1,092 Trading: (1)	Re: It's a Southern Thang

12-24-2010, 09:00 AM	#5
guitar4001 Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Paul Location: Between Goldsboro, NC and Africa Posts: 359 Trading: (0)	Re: It's a Southern Thang very funny. they all make sense to me.

12-24-2010, 12:33 PM	#6
Bill86 Snob Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Bill Posts: 6,704 Trading: (67)	Re: It's a Southern Thang Good jokes, remind me of people that live here...sad

12-24-2010, 01:44 PM	#7
SvilleKid Yes I am a Pirate Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 33°46′08″N 86°28′16″W / 33.76895°N 86.471037°W Posts: 2,776 Trading: (52)	Re: It's a Southern Thang You forgot Florida. Oh wait..... It's a southern thang! That explains it! __________________ Ceilin' fan it stirs the air, Cigar smoke does swirl. The fragrance on the pillow case, and he thinks about the girl. Thanks, JB, 1975.

12-25-2010, 01:00 PM	#8
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: It's a Southern Thang The NC and TN are so true. NC dialect is spot on. __________________ Insert quote here.

12-25-2010, 01:59 PM	#9
dunng MassHole Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: MassHole Posts: 4,719 Trading: (59)	Re: It's a Southern Thang __________________ MassHole Banter

01-13-2011, 03:50 PM	#11
Mr B Livin' in a Van.... Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: North Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,233 Trading: (79)	Re: It's a Southern Thang The Mississippi one made me laugh out loud.

01-13-2011, 04:21 PM	#12
Smokin Gator Just plain insane! Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Swamp Posts: 6,237 Trading: (106)	Re: It's a Southern Thang LOL brother... I really can't believe you didn't come up with one for Florida... or a least north Florida!!! __________________ Check out the Cigar Asylum Newbie Sampler Trade