Little Johnny

09-23-2009, 11:42 AM

Johnny is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Johnny answers "Well, if I shoot one of them, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Johnny, there will be two left if you shoot one, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women, sitting on a park bench eating ice cream together... one bites the ice-cream cone, one is carefully licking around the cone, and one put the cone in her mouth and sucks some off. Which one is married?"

The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well...uh... Johnny, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Johnny replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

McSmokey · 09-23-2009, 11:46 AM

kelmac07 · 09-23-2009, 01:46 PM

High five Johnny!!

DonniePaul · 09-23-2009, 02:00 PM

HAHA!

markem · 09-23-2009, 02:03 PM

[How To Sell Toothbrushes

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events."

"Very good, Jenny," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath.

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like ****!"

Then I would say, "It is ****. Wanna buy a toothbrush?"

markem · 09-23-2009, 02:06 PM

Little Tommy was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when people are sleeping on top of each other?"

She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him he truth...... "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tommy just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!"

Skywalker · 09-23-2009, 02:08 PM

These are clever!!!

09-23-2009, 11:42 AM	#1
DoctorBJ Guest Posts: n/a	Little Johnny Johnny is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name. "Yeah?" he replies. "If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many are left?" asks the teacher. Johnny answers "Well, if I shoot one of them, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off." "No, Johnny, there will be two left if you shoot one, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds. "Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women, sitting on a park bench eating ice cream together... one bites the ice-cream cone, one is carefully licking around the cone, and one put the cone in her mouth and sucks some off. Which one is married?" The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well...uh... Johnny, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream." Johnny replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

09-23-2009, 11:46 AM	#2
McSmokey Feeling at Home Join Date: Aug 2009 First Name: Justin Location: Tuscaloosa, AL Posts: 948 Trading: (30)	Re: Little Johnny

09-23-2009, 01:46 PM	#3
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Little Johnny High five Johnny!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

09-23-2009, 02:00 PM	#4
DonniePaul It's Cigar O' Clock! Join Date: Jul 2009 First Name: Don Location: North Haven CT Posts: 253 Trading: (4)	Re: Little Johnny HAHA! __________________ You don't make salad with a chainsaw

09-23-2009, 02:03 PM	#5
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Little Johnny [How To Sell Toothbrushes The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship. Little Sally led off: "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "My sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success." "Very good," said the teacher. Little Jenny was next: "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events." "Very good, Jenny," said the teacher. Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467," he said. "$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?" "Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny. "Toothbrushes," echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?" "I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a Dip & Chip stand. I gave everybody who walked by a sample. They all said the same thing, "Hey, this tastes like **!" Then I would say, "It is **. Wanna buy a toothbrush?" __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

09-23-2009, 02:06 PM	#6
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,625 Trading: (47)	Re: Little Johnny Little Tommy was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when people are sleeping on top of each other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him he truth...... "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tommy just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!" __________________ I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member. ~ Groucho Marx

09-23-2009, 02:08 PM	#7
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Little Johnny These are clever!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!