Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! - Page 7

borndead1 · 02-24-2009, 08:16 AM

Aww dammit...I started out way ahead and Dan ends up beating me to the finish line.

02-24-2009, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borndead1

Aww dammit...I started out way ahead and Dan ends up beating me to the finish line.

And I'm doing a victory lap with an extra dog rocket

borndead1 · 02-25-2009, 08:42 AM

OK, here we go.

Dog Rocket #12

From Silound's description: Cuvee Blanc from the DR. Biggest disappointment ever to me, because I’ve had a decent Cuvee in the past. Worst branded cigar I’ve had in ages.

My take: A big solomon-sized cigar with what appears to be a Connecticut wrapper. A nice looking cigar, really, though I am more of a "traditionalist" when it comes to cigar shapes. I tend to pass on the funny looking cigars.

Pre-light draw is leather and tobacco.

First few draws are not bad at all. Fairly typical flavor for a mild Connecticut wrap cigar.

One of the reasons I pass on funny shaped cigars is that from my experience they are more prone to burn problems, and this one is no different. Burning crooked right from the start. The wrapper is splitting ahead of the burn too.

Out of curiousity I looked up this line of cigars, specifically this cigar, and found that it sells for around $11 per stick. If I pay that much money for something I'm going to light on fire, it had better perform flawlessly, and the Cuvee Blanc Salomon gets a big FAIL. The wrapper has now fully exploded, so much that the binder is bulging out. Surprisingly though the burn is no longer crooked!

About 2" in....flavor-wise, a big "meh". I've smoked Dominican bundle cigars that tasted better than this. Flavor is mild and kinda flat. Whoever came up with this blend should be ashamed of themselves. It's pretty hard to f**k up a mild Connecticut wrap cigar, but the Cuvee Blanc manages to do it. I can think of at least a dozen cigars that offer a similar but better flavor profile at a fraction of the price of this stogie-log. Rather than spending $11 on this big air stick I could buy 5 Flor de Oliva Golds and they are a better cigar!

Holy crap! While I was talking smack, the burn line passed the huge split and now the cigar is looking and burning normally. Too bad it didn't improve the flavor. Still not much flavor, no depth or dimension, just warm smoke and a teeny bit of nuttiness in the nose exhale.

A little more than halfway through, the cigar picks up a little flavor. A flavor of burning paper!

Wow, I can't believe how quickly this thing turned from flavorless to awful. Burning paper in the nose exhale with a finish of BITTER. It is leaving a bitter aftertaste. Yuck! I will try a flame purge.

WOW...usually a flame purge will get rid of some bitterness and sometimes improve the flavor of a cigar. It had the OPPOSITE effect on this one. Now it tastes worse!

This cigar is a joke.

I made it down to about 2" before tapping out.

Conclusion: Dog Rocket for sure. If I shelled out $11 for this, it would make me want to poop in a box, put the cigar band on the turd, and send it to the manufacturer.

02-25-2009, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borndead1

If I shelled out $11 for this, it would make me want to poop in a box, put the cigar band on the turd, and send it to the manufacturer.

Now my colleagues are giving me strange looks and wondering how health policy analysis could be so funny!

Silound · 02-26-2009, 10:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borndead1

Conclusion: Dog Rocket for sure. If I shelled out $11 for this, it would make me want to poop in a box, put the cigar band on the turd, and send it to the manufacturer.

Mark, I gotta hand it to you. Not many people think of defecating in a shoebox and mailing it to cigar manufacturers

Anyway, Glad you got the same disappointment I did for such a craptacular cigar

borndead1 · 03-02-2009, 08:14 AM

Dog Rocket #13 Woohoo! I'm in the home stretch!

From Silound's description: Bahia Seconds. Something I found at the B&M and bought foolishly thinking they would age to be something decent.

My take: A box-pressed robusto sized cigar with an ugly wrapper covered with blemishes. OK, this cigar STINKS. It smells like an old pair of boots that was left in a mildewy basement for 10 years. Pre-light draw is OMFG NASTY. Imagine picking up said pair of mildewy boots and sucking on them.

While toasting the foot I can already tell I am in for some punishment. This thing is throwing off the most awful stench.

First few draws are OMFG NASTY. This is, without a doubt, the WORST of the bunch so far. I literally almost gagged on the first draw. I'm NOT exaggerating.

I just realized that this is the first Bahia cigar I've ever smoked.

Words cannot describe how awful this cigar tastes. It doesn't even taste like tobacco. It's a sort of sour mildewy leather taste. The aroma coming from the foot is a familiar one. I smelled it in another one of Silound's "cigars"; the aroma of scorched urine.

Burn and draw are perfect.

I would not even give one of these cigars to someone I don't like. That's how bad it is. Not even a bum would smoke one of these.

I made it about 1.5". I surrender. I can't do it. What a disgusting....thing. I can't even call it a cigar. A strawberry blunt would taste better than this thing. I'm going to snuff this thing out in water and tear it apart to see if I find any rubber bands or human hair in it.

Conclusion: Dog Rocket. The worst of the bunch so far.

03-03-2009, 06:22 AM

"OMFG NASTY"

borndead1 · 03-03-2009, 08:37 AM

Dog Rocket #14

From Silound's description: Occidental Reserve. These aren’t exactly dog rockets, but they’re far from my list of good smokes.

My take: A robusto sized cigar with a decent looking Connecticut wrapper. This line of cigars seems to be fairly popluar. I've seen them at many a B&M and often see them on C-Bid. I've tried the Maduro wrap version of this cigar and did NOT like it.

Pre-light draw is a VERY strong hay flavor.

First few draws are quite grassy with a sour aftertaste. Not good.

At about 1/2" the flavor is a little less objectionable but still not good at all. If I had bought this cigar I would have tossed it by now.

At around 1"...man this cigar is not good. It's not the worst cigar I've ever tried by a long shot, but it just doesn't taste and smell good. Still a strong hay flavor on the draw, woodsy through the nose, with a finish kinda like rancid butter. It is cigars like this one that make people shy away from low priced bundle cigars.

About halfway...about the same. I will get 1 or 2 draws that are not bad then a few sour ones. Finish is still sour and the aftertaste is quite bitter.

Smoked it to about 2" and tossed it.

Conclusion: I totally agree with Silound's description. Not exactly a dog rocket, but far from a good cigar.

357 · 03-03-2009, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borndead1

UGH....ok, ok. Damn you.

Dog Rocket #6

Silound's description: Where did I die and end up in hell for buying these Nicaraguan crap sticks? I hand these out to people who beg for a cigar.

My take: A torpedo shaped cigar with a cedar sleeve, which was obviously used to cover up one of the butt ugliest wrappers I've ever seen. The cigar is heavy and feels solid though. Pre light draw is....aww man, not again! Moldy hay.

Silound, do you keep your humidor in a barn?

First few draws are sour and grassy. The aroma coming from the foot is AWFUL. Like burning urine. Like if you peed on a grill or something.

About 1" in, and the flavor has changed to match the aroma. Scorched urine. Imagine peeing on a restaurant-style flat grill and breathing and tasting the smoke from your burning pee. This cigar is pure torture. Interrogators could make terrorists confess simply by lighting one of these cigars and blowing smoke in their faces.

2" in...oh my god this cigar tastes awful...but what a complex smoke! The aroma of scorched urine has been replaced by a stench sort of like an overheated car engine. Like burning oil or power steering fluid.

Gawd, man, the flavor of this "cigar" is unbearable. It tastes like a dead animal smells. Like picking up a dead rat, lighting its face, and puffing on its butthole.

I can't take any more. This is probably the worst cigar I've ever had.

Nah, keep that 17th stick. And shove it up your ass.

This is by far the funniest post I've seen on CA. I read this entire thread and I can't wait for the next review. Keep them coming.

03-03-2009, 03:50 PM

I have this thread sent to me everytime there is a new review and have enjoyed it since the very first post. I congratulate you guys for taking one for the Asylum Team and the reviews have been hilarious to say the least. Thanks for the laughs and all the entertainment value,,,oh, also thanks for letting me know what cigars to NEVER buy!

03-04-2009, 01:15 AM

I love borndead1's reviews.... unfortunately for him I am hoping that his remaining sticks get progressively worse, because it seems the worse the cigar is, the funnier the reviews get and you get some really colourful yet coarse metaphors.

03-04-2009, 06:55 AM

aww crap, borndead gets all the props, guess I should give it up being a reviewer... at least in the winter...

FretSpot · 03-05-2009, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borndead1

Gawd, man, the flavor of this "cigar" is unbearable. It tastes like a dead animal smells. Like picking up a dead rat, lighting its face, and puffing on its butthole.

That is one of the funniest, and most disturbing, analogies I've ever read!

borndead1 · 03-11-2009, 08:33 AM

Gonna do the last 2 this weekend.

03-11-2009, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by borndead1

Gonna do the last 2 this weekend.

Bet you can't wait for this to be finished

03-11-2009, 11:46 AM

Glad I finished it... just gotta get a little care package for Silound up and about one of these days...

borndead1 · 03-19-2009, 10:22 AM

Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to do a little "send off" for the last 2 dog rockets and I don't have a camera. So I had my girlie take some pics. They are small pics, but you don't want the full sized ones. Trust me.

Both of these cigars SUCKED. The 777 tasted like a skunk smells. Yuck! And then we have the Flor de Gerard. WTF kind of name is that for a cigar? The FDG was one of the nastiest dog rockets of the bunch. Tasted like moldy hay rolled in newspaper.

Just for kicks, I am posting a pic of my alter-ego: Thugmasta Stogiedawg!

Silound: I don't know what to say, brother. I can't bring myself to THANK you for subjecting me to this macabre experiment, so I will just say, "Yeah."

Silound · 03-19-2009, 10:54 AM

Glad you guys enjoyed the fun!

Each of you PM me and tell me what kind of goodies you want sent in your prize package

-Adam

03-19-2009, 01:11 PM

I'm sad to see this one end.

HK3- · 03-21-2009, 08:36 AM

Oh man those last two reviews were off the chain!

Those pictures for your review Mark are piceless!

...I mean Thugmasta Stogiedawg!

02-24-2009, 08:16 AM	#121
borndead1 Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Lancaster, CA Posts: 1,364 Trading: (7)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Aww dammit...I started out way ahead and Dan ends up beating me to the finish line.

02-25-2009, 08:42 AM	#123
borndead1 Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Lancaster, CA Posts: 1,364 Trading: (7)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! OK, here we go. Dog Rocket #12 From Silound's description: Cuvee Blanc from the DR. Biggest disappointment ever to me, because I’ve had a decent Cuvee in the past. Worst branded cigar I’ve had in ages. My take: A big solomon-sized cigar with what appears to be a Connecticut wrapper. A nice looking cigar, really, though I am more of a "traditionalist" when it comes to cigar shapes. I tend to pass on the funny looking cigars. Pre-light draw is leather and tobacco. First few draws are not bad at all. Fairly typical flavor for a mild Connecticut wrap cigar. One of the reasons I pass on funny shaped cigars is that from my experience they are more prone to burn problems, and this one is no different. Burning crooked right from the start. The wrapper is splitting ahead of the burn too. Out of curiousity I looked up this line of cigars, specifically this cigar, and found that it sells for around $11 per stick. If I pay that much money for something I'm going to light on fire, it had better perform flawlessly, and the Cuvee Blanc Salomon gets a big FAIL. The wrapper has now fully exploded, so much that the binder is bulging out. Surprisingly though the burn is no longer crooked! About 2" in....flavor-wise, a big "meh". I've smoked Dominican bundle cigars that tasted better than this. Flavor is mild and kinda flat. Whoever came up with this blend should be ashamed of themselves. It's pretty hard to f**k up a mild Connecticut wrap cigar, but the Cuvee Blanc manages to do it. I can think of at least a dozen cigars that offer a similar but better flavor profile at a fraction of the price of this stogie-log. Rather than spending $11 on this big air stick I could buy 5 Flor de Oliva Golds and they are a better cigar! Holy crap! While I was talking smack, the burn line passed the huge split and now the cigar is looking and burning normally. Too bad it didn't improve the flavor. Still not much flavor, no depth or dimension, just warm smoke and a teeny bit of nuttiness in the nose exhale. A little more than halfway through, the cigar picks up a little flavor. A flavor of burning paper! Wow, I can't believe how quickly this thing turned from flavorless to awful. Burning paper in the nose exhale with a finish of BITTER. It is leaving a bitter aftertaste. Yuck! I will try a flame purge. WOW...usually a flame purge will get rid of some bitterness and sometimes improve the flavor of a cigar. It had the OPPOSITE effect on this one. Now it tastes worse! This cigar is a joke. I made it down to about 2" before tapping out. Conclusion: Dog Rocket for sure. If I shelled out $11 for this, it would make me want to poop in a box, put the cigar band on the turd, and send it to the manufacturer.

03-02-2009, 08:14 AM	#126
borndead1 Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Lancaster, CA Posts: 1,364 Trading: (7)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Dog Rocket #13 Woohoo! I'm in the home stretch! From Silound's description: Bahia Seconds. Something I found at the B&M and bought foolishly thinking they would age to be something decent. My take: A box-pressed robusto sized cigar with an ugly wrapper covered with blemishes. OK, this cigar STINKS. It smells like an old pair of boots that was left in a mildewy basement for 10 years. Pre-light draw is OMFG NASTY. Imagine picking up said pair of mildewy boots and sucking on them. While toasting the foot I can already tell I am in for some punishment. This thing is throwing off the most awful stench. First few draws are OMFG NASTY. This is, without a doubt, the WORST of the bunch so far. I literally almost gagged on the first draw. I'm NOT exaggerating. I just realized that this is the first Bahia cigar I've ever smoked. Words cannot describe how awful this cigar tastes. It doesn't even taste like tobacco. It's a sort of sour mildewy leather taste. The aroma coming from the foot is a familiar one. I smelled it in another one of Silound's "cigars"; the aroma of scorched urine. Burn and draw are perfect. I would not even give one of these cigars to someone I don't like. That's how bad it is. Not even a bum would smoke one of these. I made it about 1.5". I surrender. I can't do it. What a disgusting....thing. I can't even call it a cigar. A strawberry blunt would taste better than this thing. I'm going to snuff this thing out in water and tear it apart to see if I find any rubber bands or human hair in it. Conclusion: Dog Rocket. The worst of the bunch so far.

03-03-2009, 06:22 AM	#127
dccraft Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! "OMFG NASTY"

03-03-2009, 08:37 AM	#128
borndead1 Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Lancaster, CA Posts: 1,364 Trading: (7)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Dog Rocket #14 From Silound's description: Occidental Reserve. These aren’t exactly dog rockets, but they’re far from my list of good smokes. My take: A robusto sized cigar with a decent looking Connecticut wrapper. This line of cigars seems to be fairly popluar. I've seen them at many a B&M and often see them on C-Bid. I've tried the Maduro wrap version of this cigar and did NOT like it. Pre-light draw is a VERY strong hay flavor. First few draws are quite grassy with a sour aftertaste. Not good. At about 1/2" the flavor is a little less objectionable but still not good at all. If I had bought this cigar I would have tossed it by now. At around 1"...man this cigar is not good. It's not the worst cigar I've ever tried by a long shot, but it just doesn't taste and smell good. Still a strong hay flavor on the draw, woodsy through the nose, with a finish kinda like rancid butter. It is cigars like this one that make people shy away from low priced bundle cigars. About halfway...about the same. I will get 1 or 2 draws that are not bad then a few sour ones. Finish is still sour and the aftertaste is quite bitter. Smoked it to about 2" and tossed it. Conclusion: I totally agree with Silound's description. Not exactly a dog rocket, but far from a good cigar.

03-03-2009, 03:50 PM	#130
Cigary Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! I have this thread sent to me everytime there is a new review and have enjoyed it since the very first post. I congratulate you guys for taking one for the Asylum Team and the reviews have been hilarious to say the least. Thanks for the laughs and all the entertainment value,,,oh, also thanks for letting me know what cigars to NEVER buy!

03-04-2009, 01:15 AM	#131
totallytentative Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! I love borndead1's reviews.... unfortunately for him I am hoping that his remaining sticks get progressively worse, because it seems the worse the cigar is, the funnier the reviews get and you get some really colourful yet coarse metaphors.

03-04-2009, 06:55 AM	#132
Hardcz Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! aww crap, borndead gets all the props, guess I should give it up being a reviewer... at least in the winter...

03-11-2009, 08:33 AM	#134
borndead1 Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Lancaster, CA Posts: 1,364 Trading: (7)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Gonna do the last 2 this weekend.

03-11-2009, 11:46 AM	#136
Hardcz Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Glad I finished it... just gotta get a little care package for Silound up and about one of these days...

03-19-2009, 10:22 AM	#137
borndead1 Ayatollah of Rock n Rolla Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Lancaster, CA Posts: 1,364 Trading: (7)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Sorry for the delay, but I wanted to do a little "send off" for the last 2 dog rockets and I don't have a camera. So I had my girlie take some pics. They are small pics, but you don't want the full sized ones. Trust me. Both of these cigars SUCKED. The 777 tasted like a skunk smells. Yuck! And then we have the Flor de Gerard. WTF kind of name is that for a cigar? The FDG was one of the nastiest dog rockets of the bunch. Tasted like moldy hay rolled in newspaper. Just for kicks, I am posting a pic of my alter-ego: Thugmasta Stogiedawg! Silound: I don't know what to say, brother. I can't bring myself to THANK you for subjecting me to this macabre experiment, so I will just say, "Yeah."

03-19-2009, 10:54 AM	#138
Silound ex-CS Swamp Gorilla Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Somewhere in a swamp, south of sanity Posts: 802 Trading: (15)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Glad you guys enjoyed the fun! Each of you PM me and tell me what kind of goodies you want sent in your prize package -Adam __________________ Back in black, and better than ever! You can't keep a good gorilla down! LSU Geaux Tigers!

03-19-2009, 01:11 PM	#139
Drat Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! I'm sad to see this one end.

03-21-2009, 08:36 AM	#140
HK3- Cashmere Jungle Lord Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Boffa Location: The town so nice they named it twice Posts: 5,035 Trading: (48)	Re: Silound's Dog-Rocket Review Challenge! Oh man those last two reviews were off the chain! Those pictures for your review Mark are piceless! ...I mean Thugmasta Stogiedawg!