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Old 05-01-2009, 11:41 AM   #81
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(212): ??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
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(415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:16 AM   #82
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I couldn't help but revive this thread...


(321): I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:17 AM   #83
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(917): omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
(310): Whats your twitter name
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:36 AM   #84
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

I've been looking at this website for the past half hour, I cannot believe I didn't see this earlier

(214): I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:38 AM   #85
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(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:53 AM   #86
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(843): Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true

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Old 05-08-2009, 07:55 AM   #87
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(218): No, computers are like whores. moody *****es that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:07 AM   #88
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(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
LOL
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:10 AM   #89
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(614): Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:15 AM   #90
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(202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:28 AM   #91
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(301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
(301): but she's really nice
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Old 05-08-2009, 09:31 AM   #92
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(541): so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:36 PM   #93
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(662): I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
(662): He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
(1-662): You have my attention.

One of my faves
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Old 05-11-2009, 06:49 AM   #94
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(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
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Old 05-11-2009, 06:51 AM   #95
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(507): I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
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Old 05-11-2009, 08:27 AM   #96
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(818): Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
(770): I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
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Old 05-11-2009, 12:41 PM   #97
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(507): I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Love it.

(419): with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:10 PM   #98
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I'm addicted to this site. It's so damn funny
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:17 PM   #99
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I'm addicted to this site. It's so damn funny
I am too. I look forward to checking for new posts each morning.
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Old 05-11-2009, 01:21 PM   #100
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(859): im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That is perfect. I think I said that. roffles
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