Girlfriends Dad..

[Blueface]

Originally Posted by E.J.

I'd continue to be pleasant to him and go on about your lives.... When he decides to be an adult, discuss it and move forward....

[shilala]

Maybe he thought you dishonored him because you started dating his daughter without asking first?
I don't know him, but he may be old school. He may have thought you knew him well enough (knowing his daughter for some time and being friends) that you'd know enough to ask to take her out.
Or maybe you were pawing at his daughter in front of him? Something like that?

The only thing that I can add is that young men today a lot of times don't understand what a daughter means to a father. I know I didn't when I was a kid, but I should have been taught, most were. Something that a young man wouldn't at all consider disrespectful could easily be felt that way by the father.
I make sure I have a "talk" with young men before they see my daughter, that way we don't get where you guys got. The "talk" is about mutual respect, and it's always well received, not that it matters. Pukes are a dime a dozen, my daughter is one in a million. I like scaring them, too. It's fun.

I'm not at all suggesting any of this towards you, Colin. Just some recent stuff I've noticed that might be helpful. I don't mean any disrespect at all.

[OLS]

Originally Posted by icehog3

I dated a girl when I was between high school and college whos Dad was allegedly a big wig in the Chicago mafia. He felt disrepected because I was Irish.

Luckily huge biceps still strike fear in the mob.

Seriously, this is the kind of question you get when you let young guys onto the forum.
They hold forth with questions about how to handle their girlfriends family. hehe Sorry.

Even MORE seriously, I also agree that you should evaluate the sitcho based on the fact
that you can't change people and that cutting loose now makes it alot easier to do. EVERY
girl looks too good to let go when you are in the moment, but sometimes wacko just ain't
worth it. And don't make it worse by trying to get into those levis KNOWING you are gonna
bail. OR find a way to be helpful to her old man, roofing, tough yard work, etc. Give yourself
an opportunity to spend enough time with him that he breaches the subject on his own during
some tough physical labor. Old school men like to talk while they work so they never have to
actually look at you while they bit$h..

[kaisersozei]

As a semi-old man myself, with a soon-to-be 16 year old daughter (and 21 & soon-to-be 17 year old sons) I would agree with this:

Originally Posted by shilala

The only thing that I can add is that young men today a lot of times don't understand what a daughter means to a father. I know I didn't when I was a kid, but I should have been taught, most were. Something that a young man wouldn't at all consider disrespectful could easily be felt that way by the father.
I make sure I have a "talk" with young men before they see my daughter, that way we don't get where you guys got. The "talk" is about mutual respect, and it's always well received, not that it matters. Pukes are a dime a dozen, my daughter is one in a million. I like scaring them, too. It's fun.

and this:

Originally Posted by OLS

OR find a way to be helpful to her old man, roofing, tough yard work, etc. Give yourself
an opportunity to spend enough time with him that he breaches the subject on his own during
some tough physical labor. Old school men like to talk while they work so they never have to
actually look at you while they bit$h..

And yes, big biceps helps when you're a girlfriend's dad.

[floydpink]

Just watched "she's Out Of My League" last night and so should you Colin.

Perfect way to deal with your problem is played out....

[lbowles2]

Originally Posted by kaisersozei

And yes, big biceps helps when you're a girlfriend's dad.

My daughter is 3... I've started lifting weights to be prepared

[floydpink]

Originally Posted by lbowles2

My daughter is 3... I've started lifting weights to be prepared

Mine is 5 and I have a shotgun and a shovel waiting..

Originally Posted by floydpink

Mine is 5 and I have a shotgun and a shovel waiting..

Mine is 11 months old and I've got plans for a large gun case and a "don't answer the door without gun in hand" policy that I'll use starting in about 12 years.

[markem]

All you Dads need to take a page from Bill Engvall's playbook

Bill Engvall: My litle girl is 16. She's at that age where she's in her room listening to her stereo, online with her friends, and boys are starting to call. Oh, my God. We had a kid call the house at 2 in the morning. I lost it. First off, I'm sound asleep in la-la land with Shania Twain in the mountains somewhere. I hear a phone ring and I'm like, "Who's got a phone in the mountains?" So when I realized it's my phone, I'm already ticked off. I went, "Hello!" And this little voice goes, "Is Emily there?" And I go, "Dude, if you have a brain in your skull you will hang up this phone up right now!" And my wife goes, "Bill, you gotta be nice." I said, "No, ma'am, nice stops at midnight." She said, "What will you do when these little boys come over?" I said, "I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm gonna pull the young man in tight next to me so only he and I can hear the conversation. I'm gonna whisper in his ear. I'm gonna say, "Boy, look at me. You see that little girl there? That's my only little girl. She's my life. So if you have any thought about hugging or kissing, you remember these words: I got no problem going back to prison."

[colinb913]

Haha, I saw him when he performed and he used that joke!!
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[Lear31MX]

Yeah I just broke up with my girlfreind, it wasn't because of her father though, it was becasue she was a miget and i'm of normal hight, it's really to bad because I was
NUTS OVER HER

[colinb913]

Hahahahahaha!!
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[mosesbotbol]

Originally Posted by E.J.

If he is such a juvenile that he is giving the silent treatment and will not discuss what you did to offend him....

I'd continue to be pleasant to him and go on about your lives.... When he decides to be an adult, discuss it and move forward....

He sounds like a little b i t c h if that is the way he goes about things. It is best to be matter-of-fact on your side and show him that his girl is not going out with a sally who is affraid to speak his mind.

I would not sweat it and just listen to your girl if something else has to be done or said.

[icantbejon]

Originally Posted by OLS

find a way to be helpful to her old man, roofing, tough yard work, etc. Give yourself an opportunity to spend enough time with him that he breaches the subject on his own during some tough physical labor. Old school men like to talk while they work so they never have to actually look at you while they bit$h..

I've used this method in the past. I dated a German girl (while in Germany) whose father was a WWII aged fella. He didn't care all that much for Americans, and American GI's in particular. He didn't speak a word to me the first few times I came to his place. However, he was destroying a concrete back patio to get to a leak in his basement and I offered help with the very heavy jack hammer. After a day of destroying concrete...I was welcomed into his house and offered his beer.

[MiamiE]

I never had to deal with a FIL, but a nosey MIL, yes. I have a lot of fun with her. I would go about your business and make sure you aren't doing anything you know they would consider disrespectful in front of them. There's a time and place for everything.

[14holestogie]

Originally Posted by neoflex

Not sure how involved you are but from your last post it doesn't sound like you have gotten too far and may not be that far involved yet. May be time to cut her loose. Only reason why I say this is because if the father or mother for that matter don't like you, it will be a struggle to make the relationship work.

No disrespect to you, John, but this isn't always the case.

I know a guy that looks and acts a lot like me who had the same issues with the future in-laws many years ago. Seems the FIL (Chief of Police) had an issue with this "guy" who may or may not have had some delinquent issues in the not so distant past. Once I was able to prove I was past those days (and I wasn't sure I was at that time), the mending of the fences began. It was not an easy thing to do, but was well worth the effort when years later he'd proudly introduce his son-in-law to others. Nearly 40 years later and a few years removed from the FIL's passing, the relationship continues to thrive.

[kenstogie]

As a singe Dad, you are the enemy (not really but you get the idea) I remember when I was 16 so I know. I will have a few Long range targets back from the M-16 Range on the wall when any boy comes to take my daughter out.

"Yup, see this one here? Right in the head at 300 yards, peice of cake, betcha I could do 500 yards. What's that 5 football fields? That's a loooong way aways. I don't think you would hear it just a sharp, sharp pain and THEN you'd hear the bang. I could just slip away too, pretty easy actually"

[GKitty]

I'd just like to chime in and say, y'all are a great bunch of dads.

When boys started calling the house for me, my dad made it a point to start answering the phone every time it rang. His favorite test was to ask them, "What does she look like?" If they couldn't get past brunette and glasses, they got to leave a message. The guy who mentioned the dimples got major brownie points.

My only comment to the original subject, is to watch how you talk about this situation with the lady in question. She may get on a rant about how her dad is being immature or juvenile when she gets frustrated with the situation. This is not a invitation for you to join in. Save that for your friends... or your internet forums. Dads are people too, so they're not always going to be perfect. However, that conversation could easily turn into her taking his side over yours because she feels like you've attacked him. Tread carefully.

Carry on, gents!

[Brutus2600]

Originally Posted by GKitty

My only comment to the original subject, is to watch how you talk about this situation with the lady in question. She may get on a rant about how her dad is being immature or juvenile when she gets frustrated with the situation. This is not a invitation for you to join in. Save that for your friends... or your internet forums. Dads are people too, so they're not always going to be perfect. However, that conversation could easily turn into her taking his side over yours because she feels like you've attacked him. Tread carefully.

Man, now that GKitty says that I've got to totally agree with her. Didn't even think about this. I had a gf awhile back that would always get pissed about stupid stuff her mom did, and I joined in with the disbelief about how moronic those things were. Well, later I learned that despite her ranting about her mother, this was NOT an invitation for me to join in.

If she's ranting about her father, listen, console, but do not join in the complaining. It'll be way better for you in the long run!

[colinb913]

I personally have no problems with her parents, so I dont plan on smack talking anyone. And I def. wont be ranting with her anytime soon.
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