Life Explained

icehog3 · 07-20-2010, 02:40 PM

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed.......

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed......

On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years, how about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again......

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

Old Sailor · 07-20-2010, 02:48 PM

So true!!!

bvilchez · 07-20-2010, 02:59 PM

I wish I could re-live the first twenty again

bsmokin · 07-20-2010, 03:01 PM

This is awesome. Thanks Tom!

G G · 07-20-2010, 03:03 PM

07-20-2010, 03:05 PM

Unfortunately that is all correct.

CheapHumidors · 07-20-2010, 03:49 PM

LMAO nice

ade06 · 07-20-2010, 03:54 PM

LOL

07-20-2010, 06:24 PM

I like it! Good one.....

Ogre · 07-20-2010, 06:49 PM

How true it is!!!!!

07-20-2010, 07:03 PM

Nice one Tom

bigdix · 07-20-2010, 07:18 PM

True enough!

KenS · 07-20-2010, 08:07 PM

F'ing cow

Gophernut · 07-21-2010, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bvilchez

I wish I could re-live the first twenty again

07-20-2010, 02:40 PM	#1
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,440 Trading: (60)	Life Explained On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years." The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed....... On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span." The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?" And God agreed...... On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years, how about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again...... On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?" "Okay," said God. "You asked for it." So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

07-20-2010, 02:48 PM	#2
Old Sailor Black Ops - S.O.B. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dave Location: Side Porta!! Kingsville, Ont., Canada Posts: 4,204 Trading: (22)	Re: Life Explained So true!!! __________________ Canadian Armed Forces 1976! Canadian Coast Guard, retired in 2012 after 32 years!!

07-20-2010, 02:59 PM	#3
bvilchez En búsqueda..... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bolivar aka Jay Location: Back in SoCal Posts: 3,202 Trading: (76)	Re: Life Explained I wish I could re-live the first twenty again

07-20-2010, 03:01 PM	#4
bsmokin Slippin... Fast. Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Bryan Location: South Jersey Posts: 616 Trading: (15)	Re: Life Explained This is awesome. Thanks Tom!

07-20-2010, 03:03 PM	#5
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: Life Explained

07-20-2010, 03:05 PM	#6
Jack1000 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Life Explained Unfortunately that is all correct.

07-20-2010, 03:49 PM	#7
CheapHumidors Still Watching My Back Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 149 Trading: (0)	Re: Life Explained LMAO nice

07-20-2010, 03:54 PM	#8
ade06 Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ade Location: Philadelphia Posts: 1,190 Trading: (24)	Re: Life Explained LOL

07-20-2010, 06:24 PM	#9
mahtofire Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Life Explained I like it! Good one.....

07-20-2010, 06:49 PM	#10
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Life Explained How true it is!!!!!

07-20-2010, 07:03 PM	#11
ChicagoWhiteSox Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Life Explained Nice one Tom

07-20-2010, 07:18 PM	#12
bigdix Cigarmurai Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Dan Location: Oki Posts: 669 Trading: (1)	Re: Life Explained True enough! __________________ There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake.

07-20-2010, 08:07 PM	#13
KenS When do I get my meds? Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Edmonds, WA Posts: 898 Trading: (26)	Re: Life Explained F'ing cow __________________ For the record, Massholes (especially adopted Massholes) do not have to root for the damn Red Sox.