Dr Pun

icehog3 · 07-12-2010, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaKaacH

.
"Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed yer new shoes?"

Another one that only us old guys will likely get!

kydsid · 07-12-2010, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Another one that only us old guys will likely get!

I'll admit I got the first one just fine and I know very well who Roy Rogers and Dale are, especially since I grew up in Tucson.

But I'll be dagnabbed if I understand this one.

Commander Quan · 07-12-2010, 03:27 PM

Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.

Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail.

Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.

Hence he came to be known as a....

"Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

icehog3 · 07-12-2010, 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by billybarue

Mahatma Gandhi's strict vegetarian diet left his bonestructure weakened from lack of calcium and protein. The diet also contained a good bit of fragrant curries and strong vegetables like garlic and onions, which made his breath less than fragrant. He also often shunned his sandles and walked barefoot resulting in soreness and a good deal of extra punishment to his feet.

and in the end you get:

A "Super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis"

Bdoomp boomp!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Commander Quan

Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.

Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail.

Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.

Hence he came to be known as a....

"Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

Day late and a dollar short, Derrick.

markem · 07-12-2010, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Another one that only us old guys will likely get!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LQgeNTazp8

5: 25 mark

07-12-2010, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9LQgeNTazp8

5: 25 mark

BlackDog · 07-23-2010, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Another one that only us old guys will likely get!

JaKaacH · 07-29-2010, 10:38 AM

What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office?

I can clearly see you're nuts!

MajorCaptSilly · 07-29-2010, 10:53 AM

Two pieces of rope walked by a bar. One piece of rope says to the other "I'd like to go in and have a beer". The other piece of ropes says "They don't serve rope in that bar". The 1st piece of rope says "I'm going to give it a try". He walks in and says "barkeep, give me a beer.". The barkeep says "Are you a peice of rope?". The piece of rope says "Yes". The barkeep says "Get out, we don't serve rope here!". The piece of rope goes out and rejoins his friend and says "I really want a beer". The piece of rope then ties himself into a knot and pulls all the strings at one of his ends into a big mess. He then walks into the bar:

Rope: "Barkeep, give me a beer"
Barkeep: "Are you a piece of rope?"
Rope: "No, I'm a frayed knot!"

MCS

Commander Quan · 07-29-2010, 11:22 AM

A bear walked into a bar and sat down. He banged on the bar with his paw and demanded a beer.

The bartender approached and said, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana."

The bear, becoming angry, once again demanded a beer.

The bartender again told him, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana."

The bear, very angry now, said, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender once again said, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana."

The bear went to the end of the bar and, as he had promised, ate the woman. He came back to his seat, and again demanded a beer.

The bartender said, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana, that are on drugs."

The bear said, " I'm not on drugs."

The bartender said, "Yes you are. That was a bar b!tch you ate."

JaKaacH · 08-01-2010, 01:43 PM

WILD WAY TO FIX AC

Smitty was a heating and cooling technician. His assistant was a small chimpanzee he had trained to do all the duct work. The chimp had no fear of heights or confined spaces, and besides, he didn't have to be paid.

One day, Smitty got a call from a customer who said his air conditioner had broken down. Smitty went over and discovered some defective ducting. The customer asked if it would be hard to fix.

"No problem," replied Smitty, "I have a little duct ape that will take care of it!"

JaKaacH · 08-28-2010, 11:33 AM

A BELL-Y SHAKER
For years, the campanile rang beautifully, under the guidance of a master bell ringer. But one day, the bell ringer fell from the tower, dying instantly.

The distraught bishop advertised for a replacement. The next day, the bell ringer's brother appeared and requested an audition. The bishop sadly took him to the tower.

As the man bent to lift the hammer, he suffered a heart attack. He, too, plunged to his death.
A monk ran up the stairs and said to the bishop, "My God! How terrible! What was his name?"
Replied the weeping bishop, "I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother!"

07-12-2010, 03:27 PM	#3
Commander Quan Feeling at Home Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Derrick Location: Canton, OH Posts: 966 Trading: (4)	Re: Dr Pun Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard. Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath. Hence he came to be known as a.... "Super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis."

07-29-2010, 10:38 AM	#8
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Dr Pun What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked into his office? I can clearly see you're nuts! __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

07-29-2010, 10:53 AM	#9
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Dr Pun Two pieces of rope walked by a bar. One piece of rope says to the other "I'd like to go in and have a beer". The other piece of ropes says "They don't serve rope in that bar". The 1st piece of rope says "I'm going to give it a try". He walks in and says "barkeep, give me a beer.". The barkeep says "Are you a peice of rope?". The piece of rope says "Yes". The barkeep says "Get out, we don't serve rope here!". The piece of rope goes out and rejoins his friend and says "I really want a beer". The piece of rope then ties himself into a knot and pulls all the strings at one of his ends into a big mess. He then walks into the bar: Rope: "Barkeep, give me a beer" Barkeep: "Are you a piece of rope?" Rope: "No, I'm a frayed knot!" MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

07-29-2010, 11:22 AM	#10
Commander Quan Feeling at Home Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Derrick Location: Canton, OH Posts: 966 Trading: (4)	Re: Dr Pun A bear walked into a bar and sat down. He banged on the bar with his paw and demanded a beer. The bartender approached and said, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana." The bear, becoming angry, once again demanded a beer. The bartender again told him, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana." The bear, very angry now, said, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender once again said, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana." The bear went to the end of the bar and, as he had promised, ate the woman. He came back to his seat, and again demanded a beer. The bartender said, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana, that are on drugs." The bear said, " I'm not on drugs." The bartender said, "Yes you are. That was a bar b!tch you ate."

08-01-2010, 01:43 PM	#11
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Dr Pun WILD WAY TO FIX AC Smitty was a heating and cooling technician. His assistant was a small chimpanzee he had trained to do all the duct work. The chimp had no fear of heights or confined spaces, and besides, he didn't have to be paid. One day, Smitty got a call from a customer who said his air conditioner had broken down. Smitty went over and discovered some defective ducting. The customer asked if it would be hard to fix. "No problem," replied Smitty, "I have a little duct ape that will take care of it!" __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

08-28-2010, 11:33 AM	#12
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Dr Pun A BELL-Y SHAKER For years, the campanile rang beautifully, under the guidance of a master bell ringer. But one day, the bell ringer fell from the tower, dying instantly. The distraught bishop advertised for a replacement. The next day, the bell ringer's brother appeared and requested an audition. The bishop sadly took him to the tower. As the man bent to lift the hammer, he suffered a heart attack. He, too, plunged to his death. A monk ran up the stairs and said to the bishop, "My God! How terrible! What was his name?" Replied the weeping bishop, "I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother!" __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???