at the ATM machine

06-04-2010, 12:37 AM

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines
enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures
outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been
developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and
withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up..
7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine..
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive
distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of
chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine..
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot
provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

G G · 06-04-2010, 09:00 AM

kelmac07 · 06-04-2010, 10:26 AM

So true!!!

wolfandwhisky · 06-04-2010, 12:12 PM

this is great!

Dave128 · 06-04-2010, 01:01 PM

Nice!!

Lear31MX · 06-04-2010, 01:27 PM

LMAO

Neuromancer · 06-04-2010, 06:58 PM

Blueface · 06-04-2010, 07:00 PM

Oldie but still a goodie for sure.

Neuromancer · 06-04-2010, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blueface

Oldie but still a goodie for sure.

Maybe an oldie for an "alta cocker" like you, but it's a newbie to me and I still think young even though my body is telling my brain "guess again"...

tomc3084 · 06-04-2010, 07:37 PM

Funniest thing I've read in awhile

Skywalker · 06-04-2010, 09:34 PM

Number one reason I don't use drive through atm machines!!!

cort · 06-04-2010, 09:37 PM

Nice

dunng · 06-05-2010, 12:30 PM

Blindjimme · 06-05-2010, 12:38 PM

Wife is laughing her @ss off!

Savvy · 06-05-2010, 12:52 PM

Awesome

06-06-2010, 01:20 PM

Glad you guys like it

ahot1pilot · 06-15-2010, 09:01 AM

Nice, and so true. Damn funny I will save that one for my wife. She will get a kick out of it.

06-04-2010, 12:37 AM	#1
PuffdaMagic Guest Posts: n/a	at the ATM machine MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: 'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.' ***************************** MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up.. 7. Drive off. ***************************** FEMALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine.. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and pull off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake.

06-04-2010, 09:00 AM	#2
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: at the ATM machine

06-04-2010, 10:26 AM	#3
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: at the ATM machine So true!!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

06-04-2010, 12:12 PM	#4
wolfandwhisky Resident Whisky Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 First Name: Matt Location: Arizona Posts: 521 Trading: (4)	Re: at the ATM machine this is great!

06-04-2010, 01:01 PM	#5
Dave128 Sexy Dave Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Dave Location: Voorheesville, NY Posts: 3,922 Trading: (4)	Re: at the ATM machine Nice!! __________________ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin I "heart" Boobies and Beer!

06-04-2010, 01:27 PM	#6
Lear31MX Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: May 2010 First Name: Anthony Location: Pacific Northwest L.C.D.H. Posts: 451 Trading: (8)	Re: at the ATM machine LMAO __________________ Being still and doing nothing are two very different things.

06-04-2010, 06:58 PM	#7
Neuromancer Will work for Boli GM's Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Marc Location: Lost in translation...near Newnan, GA Posts: 1,417 Trading: (23)	Re: at the ATM machine __________________ "...pipe smoking is properly an intellectual exercise." ~ Christopher Morley, 1916

06-04-2010, 07:00 PM	#8
Blueface Gramps 4x's Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Horatio Seymore Hiny Location: Boca Raton - North of La Habana Posts: 8,774 Trading: (8)	Re: at the ATM machine Oldie but still a goodie for sure. __________________ Little known fact: I am a former member of the Village People - The Indian

06-04-2010, 07:37 PM	#10
tomc3084 Feeling at Home Join Date: Dec 2009 First Name: Tom Location: Baden, PA Posts: 710 Trading: (26)	Re: at the ATM machine Funniest thing I've read in awhile __________________ [SIGPIC]

06-04-2010, 09:34 PM	#11
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: at the ATM machine Number one reason I don't use drive through atm machines!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

06-04-2010, 09:37 PM	#12
cort ◤◢◣◥ Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gary Posts: 4,478 Trading: (41)	Re: at the ATM machine Nice

06-05-2010, 12:30 PM	#13
dunng MassHole Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: MassHole Posts: 4,719 Trading: (59)	Re: at the ATM machine __________________ MassHole Banter

06-05-2010, 12:38 PM	#14
Blindjimme Judgement Impaired Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: JB Location: North OC, CA Posts: 790 Trading: (14)	Re: at the ATM machine Wife is laughing her @ss off!

06-05-2010, 12:52 PM	#15
Savvy Bull Goose Loony Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jordan Location: Wherever the AF takes me Posts: 381 Trading: (11)	Re: at the ATM machine Awesome

06-06-2010, 01:20 PM	#16
PuffdaMagic Guest Posts: n/a	Re: at the ATM machine Glad you guys like it

06-15-2010, 09:01 AM	#17
ahot1pilot Just in from the Storm Join Date: Mar 2010 First Name: Mike Location: California Posts: 17 Trading: (0)	Re: at the ATM machine Nice, and so true. Damn funny I will save that one for my wife. She will get a kick out of it.