Widowed Rancher

GKitty · 01-14-2010, 09:10 AM

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.”

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots “Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. “Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.”

~~~

Forgive me if it's a repeat. I got it in my email this morning and it makes me laugh everytime I read it. Enjoy!

BFallehy · 01-14-2010, 09:14 AM

Great Joke, gave me a smile to start the day.

marge796 · 01-14-2010, 09:26 AM

Outstanding, thanks for posting!

Chris.....

Blindjimme · 01-14-2010, 11:40 AM

I love it !!

G G · 01-14-2010, 11:47 AM

Vigiles · 01-14-2010, 12:00 PM

lol

kugie · 01-14-2010, 12:03 PM

Funny

CasaDooley · 01-14-2010, 12:27 PM

JaKaacH · 01-14-2010, 01:52 PM

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Skywalker · 01-14-2010, 10:49 PM

Didn't see that one coming!!!

CBI_2 · 01-15-2010, 06:15 PM

That was great!

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaKaacH

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

That's just wrong. Funny, but wrong.

kelmac07 · 01-15-2010, 08:25 PM

Good one!!

01-14-2010, 09:10 AM	#1
GKitty JAFO Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Crystal Location: Olathe, KS Posts: 1,938 Trading: (8)	Widowed Rancher A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels.” The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. She quietly called him over to her. “Unbutton my blouse and take it off,” she said. Trembling he did as she directed. “Now take off my boots.” He did as she asked, ever so slowly. “Now take off my socks.” He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots “Now take off my skirt.” He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. “Now take off my bra.” Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Then she looked at him and said, “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.” ~~~ Forgive me if it's a repeat. I got it in my email this morning and it makes me laugh everytime I read it. Enjoy! __________________ A lost SOTL wandering the weird landscape of domesticity.

01-14-2010, 09:14 AM	#2
BFallehy Feeling at Home Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Brian Location: Santa Rosa, CA Posts: 587 Trading: (12)	Re: Widowed Rancher Great Joke, gave me a smile to start the day.

01-14-2010, 09:26 AM	#3
marge796 It Just Doesn’t Matter!!! Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Chris Location: Topeka KS Posts: 1,624 Trading: (28)	Re: Widowed Rancher Outstanding, thanks for posting! Chris..... __________________ “Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.” -Sir Winston Churchill

01-14-2010, 11:40 AM	#4
Blindjimme Judgement Impaired Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: JB Location: North OC, CA Posts: 790 Trading: (14)	Re: Widowed Rancher I love it !!

01-14-2010, 11:47 AM	#5
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: Widowed Rancher

01-14-2010, 12:00 PM	#6
Vigiles Still Watching My Back Join Date: Dec 2009 First Name: Garrett Location: VA Posts: 183 Trading: (3)	Re: Widowed Rancher lol

01-14-2010, 12:03 PM	#7
kugie Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Joe Location: Billerica, Ma. Posts: 1,376 Trading: (3)	Re: Widowed Rancher Funny __________________ "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!" Dr. P. Venkman

01-14-2010, 12:27 PM	#8
CasaDooley Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day Posts: 2,465 Trading: (41)	Re: Widowed Rancher __________________ *Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers*

01-14-2010, 01:52 PM	#9
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Widowed Rancher Not that there's anything wrong with that. __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

01-14-2010, 10:49 PM	#10
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Widowed Rancher Didn't see that one coming!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

01-15-2010, 08:25 PM	#12
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Widowed Rancher Good one!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"