An Apology on Craig's List

awsmith4 · 08-10-2009, 11:38 PM

Not sure if this was posted, my wife saw it on Craig's list and showed me

An Apology to the guy that tried to mug me
Reply to: pers-edft2-1310547695@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-08-07, 10

6AM

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Eugene night before last. Date: 2009-04-23, 6:43 AM EST

I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my wife Jane. You also asked for my wife's purse and earrings.

I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to #%*t and piss in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.

You see, my WIFE had just bought me that Springfield Model 1911-A1 .45 ACP pistol for MY BIRTHDAY, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening....Beautiful pistol, eh?

It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown BLOB flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again..

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Eugene Mission, along with all of the cash in your wallet..

I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.

I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number)..

I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky..

- Gary in Oregon!!

P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!

Support the 2nd Amendment!!!!!!!

"""GOD BLESS YOU"""

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Original URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/rnr/1310547695.html

08-10-2009, 11:38 PM

I saw that, it was too funny.

08-10-2009, 11:42 PM

I love it

l

Old Sailor · 08-10-2009, 11:59 PM

KidRock · 08-11-2009, 12:00 AM

pnoon · 08-11-2009, 12:09 AM

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

Likely a story made up to make us all feel good that the tables were turned.

awsmith4 · 08-11-2009, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

Likely a story made up to make us all feel good that the tables were turned.

That was my thought and why I posted it in jokes but made me say "Hell Yeah!!!" nevertheless

pnoon · 08-11-2009, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awsmith4

That was my thought and why I posted it in jokes but made me say "Hell Yeah!!!" nevertheless

I totally missed that.
D'OH!

G G · 08-11-2009, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awsmith4

That was my thought and why I posted it in jokes but made me say "Hell Yeah!!!" nevertheless

Old Sailor · 08-11-2009, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon

I totally missed that.
D'OH!

Peter......this one got by you......OSD must be settin in

kelmac07 · 08-11-2009, 09:15 AM

Sweeeeeeeeet!!!!

chippewastud79 · 08-11-2009, 09:19 AM

Someone put some thought into writing that, but it did end up very funny

elderboy02 · 08-11-2009, 09:22 AM

I saw the same thing posted last year. I still love it though every time I read it

WildBlueSooner · 08-18-2009, 01:04 PM

I like it....I hope the guy reads it!

M1903A1 · 08-18-2009, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pnoon

http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp

Likely a story made up to make us all feel good that the tables were turned.

Hilarious nonetheless!!!!!

BFallehy · 08-18-2009, 01:27 PM

Real or Fake it is still very funny and a great read.

08-10-2009, 11:38 PM	#1
awsmith4 Simple Pleasures - 2oL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Albert Location: Marietta, Georgia Posts: 4,602 Trading: (111)	An Apology on Craig's List Not sure if this was posted, my wife saw it on Craig's list and showed me An Apology to the guy that tried to mug me Reply to: pers-edft2-1310547695@craigslist.org Date: 2009-08-07, 106AM To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Eugene night before last. Date: 2009-04-23, 6:43 AM EST I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my wife Jane. You also asked for my wife's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to #%t and piss in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my WIFE had just bought me that Springfield Model 1911-A1 .45 ACP pistol for MY BIRTHDAY, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening....Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown BLOB flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Eugene Mission, along with all of the cash in your wallet.. I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).. I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.. - Gary in Oregon!! P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society! Support the 2nd Amendment!!!!!!! """GOD BLESS YOU""" it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Original URL: http://atlanta.craigslist.org/rnr/1310547695.html __________________ Its THIS easy to support our troops

08-10-2009, 11:38 PM	#2
Darrell Guest Posts: n/a	Re: An Apology on Craig's List I saw that, it was too funny.

08-10-2009, 11:42 PM	#3
dubnick Guest Posts: n/a	Re: An Apology on Craig's List I love it l l

08-10-2009, 11:59 PM	#4
Old Sailor Black Ops - S.O.B. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dave Location: Side Porta!! Kingsville, Ont., Canada Posts: 4,204 Trading: (22)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List __________________ Canadian Armed Forces 1976! Canadian Coast Guard, retired in 2012 after 32 years!!

08-11-2009, 12:00 AM	#5
KidRock Moped Herf Crew Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jon Location: Michigan Posts: 947 Trading: (17)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List __________________ Moped Herf Crew 11

08-11-2009, 12:09 AM	#6
pnoon YNWA Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Peter Location: San Diego Posts: 29,919 Trading: (20)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List http://www.snopes.com/crime/justice/mugger.asp Likely a story made up to make us all feel good that the tables were turned. __________________ Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. -John Wooden

08-11-2009, 09:15 AM	#11
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List Sweeeeeeeeet!!!!

08-11-2009, 09:19 AM	#12
chippewastud79 Fatter than you! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Larry Location: A little place called home. Posts: 5,397 Trading: (44)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List Someone put some thought into writing that, but it did end up very funny __________________ If we weren't supposed to eat animals, then how come they're made of meat? You can never have too many cigars, they are like an investment in good times.

08-11-2009, 09:22 AM	#13
elderboy02 Lets Go Buckeyes! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dan Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 12,509 Trading: (133)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List I saw the same thing posted last year. I still love it though every time I read it

08-18-2009, 01:04 PM	#14
WildBlueSooner I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: James Location: Lexington, KY Posts: 3,322 Trading: (19)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List I like it....I hope the guy reads it! __________________ "To dilute the will to win is to destroy the purpose of the game. There is no substitute for victory"-- Douglas MacArthur

08-18-2009, 01:27 PM	#16
BFallehy Feeling at Home Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Brian Location: Santa Rosa, CA Posts: 587 Trading: (12)	Re: An Apology on Craig's List Real or Fake it is still very funny and a great read.