legal advice needed

Originally Posted by smokin5

The best advice I can give to you is make an appointment with a GOOD EXPERIENCED Family Law attorney in your area. Every state has very different laws when it comes to divorce & property & custody issues. Don't be afraid to ask people you know if they can recommend someone.
And remember, there are 2 types of lawyers: those who look to resolve conflicts & those who look to create them. Avoid the latter; if you get for a junkyard dog, you will quickly learn that they're very expensive to feed.

Good luck. Keep your perspectives clear & your emotions in check.

Welcome to the Asylum, by the way.

[tchariya]

Don, I havne't gone through one but have a couple handful of friends that have. If it's amicable, then get someone to mediate. I've got a local friend that smokes a lot at Bull and Bear that might give you a hand. If its too far past the mediate stage, just make sure you don't drag things out....it costs money and also creates tons of friction. Also, be fair and don't just give in to demands. In this market, its going to be hard to divide up assets, but if oyu can show the lawyers and the judge that you are trying and doing the steps necessary, you come out looking better.

I know the heartache and pain is still there and will be there for a long while. It won't ever go away, you just become numb to it and eventually learn how to 'cope'. You have got a ton of friends here Don and that hopefully means a lot to you. I know it would to me.

Don't do anything rash my friend. Just step away and take a breather. contact me if you need to hang and vent. I'll give you my # again.

Than

[MarkinAZ]

Originally Posted by smokin5

The best advice I can give to you is make an appointment with a GOOD EXPERIENCED Family Law attorney in your area.
And remember, there are 2 types of lawyers: those who look to resolve conflicts & those who look to create them. Avoid the latter; if you get for a junkyard dog, you will quickly learn that they're very expensive to feed.

Good luck. Keep your perspectives clear & your emotions in check.

Originally Posted by tchariya

Don, I havne't gone through one but have a couple handful of friends that have. If it's amicable, then get someone to mediate.

Don't do anything rash my friend. Just step away and take a breather. contact me if you need to hang and vent. I'll give you my # again.

Than

I agree with the above comments here. If you've done everything that you could to mend and keep it together, but its still falling apart, the best thing to do is hire a good attorney who is a great listener and who can mediate a positive divorce for both parties. The main issue is to keep a positive outlook on life and keep it moving forward, you know? Keep it moving forward and don't look back...

[kaisersozei]

Originally Posted by MarkinCA

I agree with the above comments here. If you've done everything that you could to mend and keep it together, but its still falling apart, the best thing to do is hire a good attorney who is a great listener and who can mediate a positive divorce for both parties. The main issue is to keep a positive outlook on life and keep it moving forward, you know? Keep it moving forward and don't look back...

Anyone who has Clancy "MF" Brown as an avatar needs a response. Just in case.

I'm divorced nearly 10 years now after 12 years of marriage, two kids, both of us now remarried, live in the same neighborhood and we talk a few times each week. The advice above is all good, especially the part about the junkyard dog.

If kids are involved, I would recommend picking up an excellent book "Mom's House, Dad's House" by Isolini Ricci. Really helped me/us put together some structure in the interest of the kids, and it put things in perspective as only a disinterested third party can do. We ended with a joint-custody arrangement allowing each parent 50% "visitation", and we split tax responsibility/credit for the kids.

I'm not a professional so I don't fee comfortable providing advice, but feel free to hit me up with a PM if you want to know how I survived or just need support.

Best of luck to all of you going through this, it's a tough time.

[PeteSB75]

I went through the same thing about 2-3 years ago. Lawyers aside, absolutely the best thing I did for myself was go talk to a therapist. I went once a week for several months, then every other week, just to get my emotional and psychological house in order, so to speak. Absolutely the best investment I could have made. If you are religious, you can use a priest/pastor. But either way, talking to someone who is outside and objective is very effective at helping you put yourself back in order after a major life change like this. Whatever you decide, good luck.

[tchariya]

Originally Posted by PeteSB75

I went through the same thing about 2-3 years ago. Lawyers aside, absolutely the best thing I did for myself was go talk to a therapist. I went once a week for several months, then every other week, just to get my emotional and psychological house in order, so to speak. Absolutely the best investment I could have made. If you are religious, you can use a priest/pastor. But either way, talking to someone who is outside and objective is very effective at helping you put yourself back in order after a major life change like this. Whatever you decide, good luck.

Excellent advice!