Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-11-2013, 07:12 AM   #1
Chainsaw13
Møøse bites can be nasty
 
Chainsaw13's Avatar
14
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Bob
Location: The Enchanted Mitten
Posts: 7,180
Trading: (96)
Bolivar
Chainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to behold
Default Frying Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.

"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use thesalt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving!"
__________________
My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums.
Chainsaw13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:18 AM   #2
Bondo 287
Runaway Train
 
Bondo 287's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
First Name: Mikael
Location: Unstable, PA
Posts: 389
Trading: (0)
Cohiba
Bondo 287 will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Frying Eggs

Well if you ever want to sleep on your couch this joke should work LOL
Bondo 287 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:31 AM   #3
chaase321
ZOTL's mmmmm brainssss
 
chaase321's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
First Name: Cole
Location: Woodbridge VA
Posts: 2,114
Trading: (81)
Partagas
chaase321 is a jewel in the roughchaase321 is a jewel in the roughchaase321 is a jewel in the roughchaase321 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Frying Eggs

OMG that is sooooo true!
__________________
ZOTL our appetites will ALWAYS be bigger than your braaaiiiins...
Support the Troop Support Contest 2014!!!
chaase321 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:34 AM   #4
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Frying Eggs

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:36 AM   #5
Zane
Have My Own Room
 
Zane's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
First Name: Zane
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 1,508
Trading: (23)
Bolivar
Zane has a spectacular aura aboutZane has a spectacular aura aboutZane has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Frying Eggs

Good stuff!
__________________

COO BlindMan's Puff
Zane is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:46 AM   #6
363
Infecting Via PM
 
363's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Brendon
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,773
Trading: (35)
RA
363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Frying Eggs

__________________
Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns
363 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:48 AM   #7
STEVE S
Have My Own Room
 
STEVE S's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Steve
Location: Coconut Creek, Fl.
Posts: 1,092
Trading: (1)
STEVE S is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Frying Eggs

I can relate to that
__________________
Smoking cigars is a hobby and a great way to pass the time of day!
STEVE S is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:52 AM   #8
Chainsaw13
Møøse bites can be nasty
 
Chainsaw13's Avatar
14
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Bob
Location: The Enchanted Mitten
Posts: 7,180
Trading: (96)
Bolivar
Chainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to beholdChainsaw13 is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Frying Eggs

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bondo 287 View Post
Well if you ever want to sleep on your couch this joke should work LOL
Good thing Im not married.
__________________
My neighbor came by my house this morning at 2AM, pounding on the door. Good thing I was still up playing the drums.
Chainsaw13 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:18 AM   #9
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Frying Eggs

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 09:14 AM   #10
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: Frying Eggs

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 02:18 PM   #11
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: Frying Eggs

Funny, yet true!!!!
__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 02:51 PM   #12
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,726
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Frying Eggs

haha.
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 07:59 PM   #13
iaMkcK
Feeling at Home
 
iaMkcK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
First Name: Jarrett
Location: SoCal
Posts: 570
Trading: (8)
HUpmann
iaMkcK will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Frying Eggs

Guess I'm lucky my lady loves how I drive! Now, how I leave the toilet seaf up? Whole different ballpark :-D
__________________
My Waxing Moon Humidor. My Habit former. Click here for the live chat.
"My friend, talk to your God, not me" CJHalbrooks
iaMkcK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 08:58 PM   #14
Brlesq
Carpe cigar!
 
Brlesq's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Bruce
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,024
Trading: (17)
Montecristo
Brlesq will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Frying Eggs

__________________
Hey! How come "Habana" is written on here with a Sharpie ?!?
Brlesq is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2013, 09:05 PM   #15
Big Bert
Been a long time coming
 
Big Bert's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Albert
Location: Gardena, CA.
Posts: 373
Trading: (10)
HUpmann
Big Bert will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Frying Eggs

__________________
Big Bert Approved
Big Bert is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:10 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.