How To Shower Like A Woman

Ogre · 01-03-2013, 08:46 AM

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get ...in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone......
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you.

Blak Smyth · 01-03-2013, 08:56 AM

That is pretty funny and there are some truths in there!

363 · 01-03-2013, 08:58 AM

kelmac07 · 01-03-2013, 09:03 AM

big_jaygee · 01-03-2013, 09:10 AM

Lmao ain't that the truth.

chaase321 · 01-03-2013, 09:12 AM

woo woo

emopunker2004 · 01-03-2013, 09:15 AM

pektel · 01-03-2013, 09:18 AM

I'm guilty of doing the windmill on a few occasions...

G G · 01-03-2013, 09:20 AM

Bondo 287 · 01-03-2013, 09:48 AM

I'll even lather my face with hand soap and shave in there, with the curtain open using the sink mirror. I'm in and out of there in 5 minutes.
If I could, I'd get a travel cup and drink my coffee in there while I shower what the hell I don't have all day

CigarNut · 01-03-2013, 10:56 AM

Taki · 01-03-2013, 11:52 AM

A close look into Taki's life!!!

01-03-2013, 08:46 AM	#1
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	How To Shower Like A Woman HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long robe. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror -- make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get ...in the shower. Use wash cloth , long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone...... Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Rinse off. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, and light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again. Throw wet towel on bed. If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something SO very wrong with you. __________________

01-03-2013, 08:56 AM	#2
Blak Smyth Think Blue! Join Date: Jun 2011 First Name: SD Location: THE WOOD Posts: 8,486 Trading: (52)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman That is pretty funny and there are some truths in there! __________________ SUPPORT OUR TROOPS

01-03-2013, 08:58 AM	#3
363 Infecting Via PM Join Date: May 2012 First Name: Brendon Location: Maryland Posts: 1,773 Trading: (35)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman __________________ Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns

01-03-2013, 09:03 AM	#4
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

01-03-2013, 09:10 AM	#5
big_jaygee I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Dec 2012 First Name: Jason Location: Houston Posts: 3,914 Trading: (59)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman Lmao ain't that the truth.

01-03-2013, 09:12 AM	#6
chaase321 ZOTL's mmmmm brainssss Join Date: Oct 2011 First Name: Cole Location: Woodbridge VA Posts: 2,114 Trading: (81)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman woo woo __________________ ZOTL our appetites will ALWAYS be bigger than your braaaiiiins... Support the Troop Support Contest 2014!!!

01-03-2013, 09:15 AM	#7
emopunker2004 Central Fla rollin Join Date: Jan 2011 First Name: Justin Location: Winter Springs, FL Posts: 6,171 Trading: (46)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman __________________ Cigar Asylum: Where all are equal, unless you are from CA, then you are more equal.

01-03-2013, 09:18 AM	#8
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman I'm guilty of doing the windmill on a few occasions... __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

01-03-2013, 09:20 AM	#9
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,730 Trading: (10)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman

01-03-2013, 09:48 AM	#10
Bondo 287 Runaway Train Join Date: Jan 2013 First Name: Mikael Location: Unstable, PA Posts: 389 Trading: (0)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman I'll even lather my face with hand soap and shave in there, with the curtain open using the sink mirror. I'm in and out of there in 5 minutes. If I could, I'd get a travel cup and drink my coffee in there while I shower what the hell I don't have all day

01-03-2013, 10:56 AM	#11
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

01-03-2013, 11:52 AM	#12
Taki Welcome to the Layer Cake Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Taki Location: The Creek Posts: 2,271 Trading: (38)	Re: How To Shower Like A Woman A close look into Taki's life!!! __________________