Why I Am Now Divorced

jjirons69 · 06-22-2011, 07:22 AM

Why I Am now Divorced

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel
very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my husband would be pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
he barely said good morning,
let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids.... they will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..

So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my handsome Boss Rick, said,
'Good Morning, lady,
and by the way
Happy Birthday! '

It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Rick knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'

I said, 'Thanks, Rick,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day. Let's go!'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go where we normally would go.
He chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Rick said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We?'

I responded, 'I guess not.
What do you have in mind?'
He said, 'Let's drop by my place,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at his house,
Rick turned to me and said,
If you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

He went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
he came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my husband
my kids, and dozens of my friends
and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked.

MurphysLaw · 06-22-2011, 07:33 AM

hotreds · 06-22-2011, 08:33 AM

Oopsy!

Drez · 06-22-2011, 08:51 AM

Barcode · 06-22-2011, 08:58 AM

D'oh!

Bageland2000 · 06-22-2011, 09:10 AM

oops

cort · 06-22-2011, 09:10 AM

Yahtzee!!

icehog3 · 06-22-2011, 09:17 AM

pektel · 06-22-2011, 09:22 AM

Whammy!

N2 GOLD · 06-22-2011, 10:41 AM

Ogre · 06-22-2011, 01:50 PM

06-22-2011, 01:53 PM

hahahahaha, that is great!

bvilchez · 06-22-2011, 02:10 PM

Bada-bing

kelmac07 · 06-22-2011, 05:49 PM

Ouch!!

Skywalker · 06-24-2011, 12:45 AM

Wearing a Birthday Suit and a smile!

06-22-2011, 07:22 AM	#1
jjirons69 Haberdasher Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jamie Location: Chucktown, SC Posts: 4,120 Trading: (94)	Why I Am Now Divorced Why I Am now Divorced Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my husband would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, he barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought.... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... they will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my handsome Boss Rick, said, 'Good Morning, lady, and by the way Happy Birthday! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Rick knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Rick, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!' We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. He chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Rick said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind?' He said, 'Let's drop by my place, it's just around the corner.' After arriving at his house, Rick turned to me and said, If you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied. He went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, he came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by my husband my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'. And I just sat there.... On the couch.... Naked. __________________ Somebody has to go back and get a chitload of dimes

06-22-2011, 07:33 AM	#2
MurphysLaw Anything can go wrong Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: Brian Location: SoFlo Posts: 2,823 Trading: (19)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced __________________ It's THIS easy to help our Troops.

06-22-2011, 08:33 AM	#3
hotreds Ephesians 2:8 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 5 miles past "Resume Speed" Posts: 11,662 Trading: (63)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced Oopsy! __________________ God loves you so much, that he made you read this, just to let you know.

06-22-2011, 08:51 AM	#4
Drez The Warden Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Frank Location: Miami, FL Posts: 3,768 Trading: (35)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced __________________ They aren't going to multiply....burn that b!tch!

06-22-2011, 08:58 AM	#5
Barcode Adjusting to the Life Join Date: May 2010 First Name: Tom Location: Everett, WA Posts: 477 Trading: (16)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced D'oh!

06-22-2011, 09:10 AM	#6
Bageland2000 On another adventure Join Date: Jan 2011 First Name: Andrew Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 352 Trading: (2)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced oops __________________ Favorites: Arturo Fuente Sun Grown Rosado, Oliva Serie V, CAO La Traviata/Brazilia, Perdomo 10th An. Champagne

06-22-2011, 09:10 AM	#7
cort ◤◢◣◥ Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gary Posts: 4,478 Trading: (41)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced Yahtzee!!

06-22-2011, 09:17 AM	#8
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,180 Trading: (60)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

06-22-2011, 09:22 AM	#9
pektel I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Peter Location: Grand Rapids, MN Posts: 4,320 Trading: (28)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced Whammy! __________________ The problem is not the problem. The problem is your ATTITUDE about the problem.

06-22-2011, 10:41 AM	#10
N2 GOLD MIND OVER MATTER... Join Date: Feb 2011 First Name: RICO Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W Posts: 2,330 Trading: (1)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced __________________ When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.

06-22-2011, 01:50 PM	#11
Ogre **CENSORED** Join Date: Apr 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Central Florida Posts: 12,068 Trading: (46)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced __________________

06-22-2011, 01:53 PM	#12
kickerb Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced hahahahaha, that is great!

06-22-2011, 02:10 PM	#13
bvilchez En búsqueda..... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bolivar aka Jay Location: Back in SoCal Posts: 3,202 Trading: (76)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced Bada-bing

06-22-2011, 05:49 PM	#14
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced Ouch!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

06-24-2011, 12:45 AM	#15
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Why I Am Now Divorced Wearing a Birthday Suit and a smile! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!