Could use some help.

[RevSmoke]

I like the idea Corey, that you want to share your struggles to help other through theirs - a laudable goal

As for what you have written on your "home" page and "about" page your punctuation and writing need some work. Getting rid of the 3rd person approach is just the beginning. When you write on a forum such as this, you can get away with just writing and posting. A couple punctuation mistakes or mistypings are not a problem.

If you want to get speaking engagements, you need to sell yourself on your website. OK, you are someone who not only has a story to tell, but you must entice them into thinking that you also tell it in an engaging way.

Your website is your sales pitch, what does it say about you? It isn't just if your story is interesting, but it is your putting together phrases and your use of grammar, that will be selling points. If you want to be a speaker, you also need to be able to communicate clearly in written form, and most people cannot just write, shooting from the hip - but they think they can speak, shooting from the hip.

Here's a thought. Make your changes, then go through and read it as if you know nothing about who you are or what you are trying to do or say.

Peace of the Lord be with you.

[pnoon]

Originally Posted by RevSmoke

I like the idea Corey, that you want to share your struggles to help other through theirs - a laudable goal

As for what you have written on your "home" page and "about" page your punctuation and writing need some work. Getting rid of the 3rd person approach is just the beginning. When you write on a forum such as this, you can get away with just writing and posting. A couple punctuation mistakes or mistypings are not a problem.

If you want to get speaking engagements, you need to sell yourself on your website. OK, you are someone who not only has a story to tell, but you must entice them into thinking that you also tell it in an engaging way.

Your website is your sales pitch, what does it say about you? It isn't just if your story is interesting, but it is your putting together phrases and your use of grammar, that will be selling points. If you want to be a speaker, you also need to be able to communicate clearly in written form, and most people cannot just write, shooting from the hip - but they think they can speak, shooting from the hip.

Here's a thought. Make your changes, then go through and read it as if you know nothing about who you are or what you are trying to do or say.

Peace of the Lord be with you.

Excellent advice.

[alexa071]

vision to travel and talk to youth ... Giving them opportunity to explore themselves

You might want to SPECIFICALLY rewrite this passage in your "about" section. I understand what you are trying to say but it comes across as a bit creepy.

What makes Corey different from other speaks? Answer is simple, he's Corey.

I think you need to set yourself apart more than just saying that you are a different person. Your arguments following that statement could use some bolstering.

Also... count me in for changing to 1st person and there are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors that need to be fixed.

Good luck!

Randy