Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-10-2011, 02:34 PM   #1
Steve
Dad Jokester Supreme
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: 17 R 435648 3354895
Posts: 7,715
Trading: (6)
HdM
Steve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud of
Default Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

Just received from a friend that travels a lot. She tought people would be interested to know that:

Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blondes 3
__________________
...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 03:04 PM   #2
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,725
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

that's funny but probably closer to the truth than you know.
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 03:41 PM   #3
mpd340
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

Thats awesome and I agree with Greg.
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 05:32 PM   #4
justonemorestick
Kat Krap Kontanment Media
 
justonemorestick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Warren
Location: Las Cruces
Posts: 292
Trading: (13)
justonemorestick is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

sad but true.
__________________
This message was created entirely of recycled electrons, manufactured before 1899 in an effort to prevent global de-electrification.
justonemorestick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 06:36 PM   #5
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 09:17 PM   #6
HollywoodQue
Invictus
 
HollywoodQue's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
First Name: Howard
Location: In the "D"
Posts: 3,122
Trading: (46)
Bolivar Navy (Served With Honor)
HollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really niceHollywoodQue is just really nice
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

Wow,,,hahahahaha
HollywoodQue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-10-2011, 09:26 PM   #7
Superbad
Have My Own Room
 
Superbad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Bobby
Location: Panama City, FL
Posts: 1,784
Trading: (53)
PL
Superbad has a spectacular aura aboutSuperbad has a spectacular aura aboutSuperbad has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

A female friend of mine missed a flight because they held her up due to "something" showing on the scan. After 25 mins in a separate room scanning her with a wand, with TSA refusing to tell her what/where they saw something. They finally told her it was in her pelvic area, turned out to be her IUD(birth control device). If they had been more forthcoming about what they saw, she might have made it to her parents house. Instead she missed flight and never got where she was trying to go.
__________________
Some say he can whistle dixie whilst drinking a chocolate milkshake and that moss can grow on all sides of him at the same time.. all I know is that he's called: The SuperBad! - Ninjavanish
Superbad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2011, 08:45 AM   #8
tobii3
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

Quote:
Originally Posted by Superbad View Post
If they had been more forthcoming about what they saw, she might have made it to her parents house. Instead she missed flight and never got where she was trying to go.
Funny thing, if SHE had ben more forthcoming, it wouldn't have been an issue.

I flew back from Tampa in December - when I went into the machine, I told the TSA Agent I had screws, bolts and plates in me - she radio'd the screening room to advise them - I went through the scanner, did the stripper pose, joked with the TSA Agent, got the green light and off I went to fly home.

Took all of about 2 - 3 minutes.

Funny thing, everyone has a ""I heard it from a friend who" story....
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-11-2011, 09:09 AM   #9
themoneycollector
Nicotiana Tabacum
 
themoneycollector's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Hill AFB, UT
Posts: 1,258
Trading: (108)
Bolivar
themoneycollector has disabled reputation
Default Re: Year to date statistics on Airport screening from the TSA

Sad but probably true
themoneycollector is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:21 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.