WTF is wrong with people?

[RevSmoke]

May have told this before, or at least in part.

Had bought a new pipe - brand new - never smoked, a nice Don Carlos straight billiard. Anyway, picked up the mail, opened my box up, stuck my new pipe in my mouth to see how it felt and drew, and went to WalMart. When I got there, I went inside - unsmoked pipe in my mouth.

So there I am, walking around WallyWorld when this lady spies me, storms over three aisles, and proceeds to tell me how offensive it is that I am smoking a pipe in the storn and how bad it smells, and how inconsiderate I am.

I told here it wasn't lit.

She explained that the smell still bothered her, and continued her tirade.

As she ranted, I buttoned my black shirt collar, took out the white tab in my pocket. and then I took the pipe out of my mouth, interrupted her and said, "Lady, this pipe has NEVER been lit. If you are smelling it, then you have a prophet's nose, for you are smelling the future.

It is then that she noticed my presto magical change and simply stares at my clerical collar, mouth literally hanging open.

In the moment of silence I proceeded to explain to her the 8th Commandment, and how she has just broken it by lying about me - loudly and publically - with no evidence.

As she continued to stare at me, I put my pipe back in my mouth and continued shopping.

A little while later, a little old lady hustles over to me. Thinking I'm going to get it again, I was going to hustle away, but she was too quick. She walks up and asks, "May I smell your pipe, my husband smoked, and I used to love the smell."

I gave her the pipe with a shrug, "Sorry, never been smoked. I just got it today."

"Damn," she said, as she handed back the pipe, "I looks like a nice one though."

It is! And it smokes well.

Originally Posted by RevSmoke

May have told this before, or at least in part.

Had bought a new pipe - brand new - never smoked, a nice Don Carlos straight billiard. Anyway, picked up the mail, opened my box up, stuck my new pipe in my mouth to see how it felt and drew, and went to WalMart. When I got there, I went inside - unsmoked pipe in my mouth.

So there I am, walking around WallyWorld when this lady spies me, storms over three aisles, and proceeds to tell me how offensive it is that I am smoking a pipe in the storn and how bad it smells, and how inconsiderate I am.

I told here it wasn't lit.

She explained that the smell still bothered her, and continued her tirade.

As she ranted, I buttoned my black shirt collar, took out the white tab in my pocket. and then I took the pipe out of my mouth, interrupted her and said, "Lady, this pipe has NEVER been lit. If you are smelling it, then you have a prophet's nose, for you are smelling the future.

It is then that she noticed my presto magical change and simply stares at my clerical collar, mouth literally hanging open.

In the moment of silence I proceeded to explain to her the 8th Commandment, and how she has just broken it by lying about me - loudly and publically - with no evidence.

As she continued to stare at me, I put my pipe back in my mouth and continued shopping.

A little while later, a little old lady hustles over to me. Thinking I'm going to get it again, I was going to hustle away, but she was too quick. She walks up and asks, "May I smell your pipe, my husband smoked, and I used to love the smell."

I gave her the pipe with a shrug, "Sorry, never been smoked. I just got it today."

"Damn," she said, as she handed back the pipe, "I looks like a nice one though."

It is! And it smokes well.

[markem]

Let me get this right. You let someone take a cigar out of your mouth?