Dr Pun

[JaKaacH]

Dodge City was a pretty rough town, nevertheless, they had an excellent little theatre group. One time they planned to perform the Swan Lake Ballet.

On the day of dress rehearsal, it was discovered that moths had gotten into the tutus. Everything was ruined. The producer placed a call down to the Acme Costume Company in Wichita and learned they had plenty of tutus. The proprietor promised to ship the much needed garments over on a special train. They should arrive in plenty of time for the opening.

Back at Dodge, everyone was in a big hurry and someone needed to go down to the depot and fetch the tutus. Butch, the biggest, toughest guy in town offered to see to it, so he went to the station and sat down. When the station master saw Butch, he went over and asked if he might be of help. Butch replied, "Thanks, I'm just waiting for the tutu train."

[billybarue]

Originally Posted by Ogre3239

I dont know what worse, the joke or the fact that 2 different guys told it!!!

Well if you think that one was bad - here ya go

Everyone knows the tale of the Swiss marksman William Tell, but some might not know he was a heck of a tenpin player. In fact his whole family were very gifted bowlers and all were on different teams in their town bowling league. They had a habit of always switching teams and it became so disconcerting the league administrators kicked them all out. William, The Clan Leader asks the president of the league why they were kicked out and the president talks about all te logistical problems with rosters, uniforms, team allegiance etc, etc and he sums it up saying:

We just can't figure out "For whom the Tells bowl"

Now that's bad!

[markem]

There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!"
"Look Pepe," says the first man. "It's a bacon tree!"
"You're right!" says Pepe, "We're saved!"
Pepe doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe.
"Pepe!! Pepe!! What on earth happened?"
And with his dying breath Pepe calls back: "Ugh, run, run!! It's not a Bacon Tree after all..."

"...its a ham bush!"

Bob had just let the dog in from outside one autumn afternoon when Lisa noticed her behaving strangely. "Hey, Bob," Lisa asked, "could you check Tasha? I think she has fleas."

So Bob went over and started looking through Tasha's fur coat. He found she had picked up a couple of ticks and he noticed her dog tags had just come loose. Then he saw not fleas, but small white bugs in her fur. "Darn!" said Bob. "What?" asked Lisa.

"She's got two ticks in her hair, with lice! Help me find her tags in the leaves outside."

[JaKaacH]

From the funny Pics thread...

[76GTFan]

So a seal walks into a club......

Just in case that last one I composed went by:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYEgYVyBDuM

I've been thinking in haiku lately, so......

Candle making class
Too late because of long nap
No wicks for rested