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Old 04-30-2009, 11:13 AM   #1
smokeyandthebandit05
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

(704): Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light

(517): I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

(609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day




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Old 04-30-2009, 11:21 AM   #2
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

This one is pretty bad...

(817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
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Old 04-30-2009, 11:11 AM   #3
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

Not a good day...

(856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
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Old 04-30-2009, 11:15 AM   #4
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

(818): Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.

I gotta stop looking!!!
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Old 04-30-2009, 11:18 AM   #5
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

(801): hey, what are you doing tonight?
(646): sleeping, g'night!
(801): but i wanted to see you
(646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
(646): stop - you have a right hand - use it!

I cant believe I just read every text...lol fml
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Old 04-30-2009, 11:22 AM   #6
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

One last one...

(919): I need help removing her.
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Old 04-30-2009, 11:23 AM   #7
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

Quote:
Originally Posted by smokeyandthebandit05 View Post
(801): hey, what are you doing tonight?
(646): sleeping, g'night!
(801): but i wanted to see you
(646): sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
(646): stop - you have a right hand - use it!

I cant believe I just read every text...lol fml
Haahaahaha....

Quote:
Originally Posted by 357 View Post
This one is pretty bad...

(817): I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Oooooof.
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Old 04-30-2009, 01:55 PM   #8
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I've been addicted to this site ever since crystal showed it to me. LOVE IT
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Old 04-30-2009, 03:25 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SixPackSunday View Post
I've been addicted to this site ever since crystal showed it to me. LOVE IT
Some hilarious stuff there!
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Old 05-01-2009, 05:30 AM   #10
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

(208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
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Old 05-01-2009, 08:13 AM   #11
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Old 05-01-2009, 09:32 AM   #12
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(315): covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly




hahahaha
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Old 05-01-2009, 10:17 AM   #13
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(419): I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to d!ck slap a girl.
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Old 04-30-2009, 03:59 PM   #14
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

a couple of funny ones:
(810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a ****o

(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

(214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

and one I have def sent myself in the past:
(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:36 AM   #15
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

I've been looking at this website for the past half hour, I cannot believe I didn't see this earlier

(214): I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
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Old 05-08-2009, 06:38 AM   #16
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Default Re: Texts From Last Night....a website

(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:07 AM   #17
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(1-209): nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
LOL
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:10 AM   #18
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(614): Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
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Old 05-08-2009, 07:15 AM   #19
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(202): Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
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Old 05-08-2009, 08:28 AM   #20
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(301): She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
(301): but she's really nice
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