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Old 10-22-2008, 10:38 AM   #21
livwire68
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Default Re: Random Advise Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by St. Lou Stu View Post
Dude, I peed a little!

Which brings me to....

Always wear clean underwear.
Or Depends
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Old 10-22-2008, 10:52 AM   #22
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Default Re: Random Advise Thread

when in doubt empty the mag

If it's raining and you've got an umbrella (rain coat) find some chick who needs an umbrella, and ask if you can share the cab ... In my former days as a life taker and a heart breaker... worked EVERY TIME.

It's better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it.
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Old 10-22-2008, 12:35 PM   #23
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Life's too short to worry about how short life is.
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:17 PM   #24
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Measure twice, cut once. Otherwise you need a board stretcher.
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:25 PM   #25
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two words: SMOKE OFTEN
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:38 PM   #26
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Don't fry bacon with your shirt off.
Don't tease the cat when not wearing pants.
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Old 10-22-2008, 04:39 PM   #27
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

So says my dear old Dad.
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:24 PM   #28
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

It's better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Use your head for something other than a hat rack.

Better to burp it and taste it rather than ... ohhh never mind.
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:26 PM   #29
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by GKitty View Post
Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

So says my dear old Dad.
Brilliant!
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:27 PM   #30
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Don't way in private what you wouldn't say in public
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:28 PM   #31
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

You can't please everyone, so you might as well decide who you're gonna piss off and have fun doing it!

(My motto for dealing with unrealistic project managers)
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:30 PM   #32
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

My dad always told me to "want" in one hand and "poop" in the other and see which one filled up first.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GKitty View Post
Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

So says my dear old Dad.
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Old 10-22-2008, 05:32 PM   #33
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

"A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort" - Herm Albright

Thought that was a great quote I saw a few years back.
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Old 10-22-2008, 06:14 PM   #34
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Never go in the woods without enough gun to kill anything you will come across.

No Fat Chicks

If you are going to fail.. Might as well go down inverted, spinning, with your hair on fire. (as per my college roommate)
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Old 10-22-2008, 06:21 PM   #35
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Life's experience:

You will ALWAYS need the useless piece of junk from the workshop that you discarded the day before the last trash pick-up.

Duct Tape, Bailing wire and WD-40. If these don't fix it, time for a cigar.
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:01 PM   #36
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Life. The only teacher that kills all of it's students.
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:07 PM   #37
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Unless you're the lead dog the view is always the same.
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:29 PM   #38
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Be nice to restaraunt workers. You never know what they may do to your food in the kitchen.
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:40 PM   #39
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

When it comes to dating, do not fight out of your weight class.

Appreciate what you have as it can change in a minute
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Old 10-22-2008, 07:46 PM   #40
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Default Re: Random Advice Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Swampper View Post
Heard this one the other day from an older co-worker. It was new to me.

"If it flies, floats, or fornicates; rent it."

And then there is the 7 Ps.
Surely someone in the Asylum here knows that one...
and for those that don't


PROPER PLANNING PREVENTS PISS POOR PERFORMANCE

Wait, that is 6... I must have missed one....
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