Texts From Last Night....a website

a couple of funny ones:
(810): oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a ****o

(480): I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.

(214): I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute

and one I have def sent myself in the past:
(970): Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad