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06-05-2009, 01:22 AM | #1 |
Jordan #2
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This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
For over a year I've been putting up with an inside joke that is so interwoven into the forum community that I almost feel naive that a single post can undo the foothold it has taken to some. It began as playful humor, but developed into downright sick humor and possibly even have damaging repercussions in many areas of my life that people may not think twice of before acting.
If you have no idea what I'm talking about then feel free to just ignore the rest of this post. For those that know me, I try to be a good sport about things. I try to put a smile on my face and take it in stride. I've never really enjoyed the label given to me. Its origins and how fast it spread still irritate me to this day. I went through phases trying to just accept it and have some fun with it. Eventually I just tried to give it up completely. Sadly though it won't go away. I've lately started to realize that with my wedding coming up some people may take actions to send things related to this. The last thing I want to do is open some embarrassing gift after the most important day of my life and try to answer a barrage of questions that I really won't know where to begin with. The fact of the matter is I don't want to be in those situations. It's degrading, embarrassing, and further aggravates my stress level. I have enough stress going on in my life right now. If you know me well enough, you know what I'm dealing with right now. But even then I kept it inside for the most part. I've spoken to a few people regarding this matter and a couple have even made attempts to get it to stop. However, the mob mentality of this site just doesn't permit such minor attempts at change. Drastic things need to be spoken to get change, and it really upsets me that it has to come to that. Even with the above fears, I really didn't let it get to me. I have far worse things in my life to worry about. However, with stress, anxiety, and life's curve balls; emotions can flare on a whim. This past week I was pushed to a breaking point that I really didn't think I could cross. I felt disgusted, sick to my stomach, embarrassed more than I have ever been in my life, and it darn near ruined a week that I had been looking forward to for over 8 months. Those of you who went to ELVIS will probably know what I'm talking about. After this event, I had some time to clear my head, and I ultimately decided that when I returned, I wanted things to be different. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't want to be apart of this sick inside joke. To summarize, I want things to stop. Certain photographs were taken. I formally request they either be deleted or kept locked away only to people who were present. I don't want to see them on facebook, myspace, or any public setting. Doing so will be taken as great insult to me. Call it whining, but to be frank, I've EARNED the right to be sick of this. Moving forward. I do appreciate the generosity and creativity displayed by my friends though this whole sick episode of my life. I am always grateful and deeply appreciative of all that has been given to me, and never in any way would I turn my back to that. What I don't enjoy seeing is money wasted on things that have no use to me. This is money that could be spent sending cigars to the troops or sending cigars to a guy who is down on his luck. It is instead wasted on items that I will never use and just aggravate me. It may be fun to you, but it has it's toll on me. I don't need that in my life right now. I've said about all I can think of saying on this matter, but I do wish to leave one following comment. Take this as a lesson that certain things are funny, but can push a person too far. While my reactions weren't drastically obvious at ELVIS, they were apparently very obvious, as I received multiple comments about it. I deeply apologize if I offended anyone, as I hope it's obvious that it was not my intention in any regard. It just pushed me to a level that I haven't experienced in a very long time, and one I don't wish to ever return to. Please keep it that way. |