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-   -   This is LONG overdo. A personal request... (http://www.cigarasylum.com/vb/showthread.php?t=16541)

JE3146 06-05-2009 12:22 AM

This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
For over a year I've been putting up with an inside joke that is so interwoven into the forum community that I almost feel naive that a single post can undo the foothold it has taken to some. It began as playful humor, but developed into downright sick humor and possibly even have damaging repercussions in many areas of my life that people may not think twice of before acting.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about then feel free to just ignore the rest of this post.


For those that know me, I try to be a good sport about things. I try to put a smile on my face and take it in stride. I've never really enjoyed the label given to me. Its origins and how fast it spread still irritate me to this day. I went through phases trying to just accept it and have some fun with it. Eventually I just tried to give it up completely. Sadly though it won't go away.

I've lately started to realize that with my wedding coming up some people may take actions to send things related to this. The last thing I want to do is open some embarrassing gift after the most important day of my life and try to answer a barrage of questions that I really won't know where to begin with. The fact of the matter is I don't want to be in those situations. It's degrading, embarrassing, and further aggravates my stress level. I have enough stress going on in my life right now. If you know me well enough, you know what I'm dealing with right now.

But even then I kept it inside for the most part. I've spoken to a few people regarding this matter and a couple have even made attempts to get it to stop. However, the mob mentality of this site just doesn't permit such minor attempts at change. Drastic things need to be spoken to get change, and it really upsets me that it has to come to that. Even with the above fears, I really didn't let it get to me. I have far worse things in my life to worry about.

However, with stress, anxiety, and life's curve balls; emotions can flare on a whim. This past week I was pushed to a breaking point that I really didn't think I could cross. I felt disgusted, sick to my stomach, embarrassed more than I have ever been in my life, and it darn near ruined a week that I had been looking forward to for over 8 months. Those of you who went to ELVIS will probably know what I'm talking about.

After this event, I had some time to clear my head, and I ultimately decided that when I returned, I wanted things to be different. I don't want to deal with this anymore. I don't want to be apart of this sick inside joke. To summarize, I want things to stop.

Certain photographs were taken. I formally request they either be deleted or kept locked away only to people who were present. I don't want to see them on facebook, myspace, or any public setting. Doing so will be taken as great insult to me. Call it whining, but to be frank, I've EARNED the right to be sick of this.



Moving forward. I do appreciate the generosity and creativity displayed by my friends though this whole sick episode of my life. I am always grateful and deeply appreciative of all that has been given to me, and never in any way would I turn my back to that. What I don't enjoy seeing is money wasted on things that have no use to me. This is money that could be spent sending cigars to the troops or sending cigars to a guy who is down on his luck. It is instead wasted on items that I will never use and just aggravate me. It may be fun to you, but it has it's toll on me. I don't need that in my life right now.

I've said about all I can think of saying on this matter, but I do wish to leave one following comment. Take this as a lesson that certain things are funny, but can push a person too far. While my reactions weren't drastically obvious at ELVIS, they were apparently very obvious, as I received multiple comments about it. I deeply apologize if I offended anyone, as I hope it's obvious that it was not my intention in any regard. It just pushed me to a level that I haven't experienced in a very long time, and one I don't wish to ever return to.

Please keep it that way.

DPD6030 06-05-2009 03:09 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
I respect your wishes even though I never jumped on the bandwagon. Have a good day Jordan.

14holestogie 06-05-2009 05:13 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by DPD6030 (Post 410651)
I respect your wishes even though I never jumped on the bandwagon. Have a good day Jordan.

:tpd:

There comes a point when what started as good-natured ribbing becomes an irritant. Only a few people on here know what's that like.

Fun is fun only when both parties concur. When it becomes more than that to one, then it's time to show some restraint and respect the wishes of those individuals.

Wanger 06-05-2009 08:29 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
I know what you're talking about, and I understand. Makes sense to me. Everyone's got a different level for things. You obviously saw where I'm at. LOL

kaisersozei 06-05-2009 08:37 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
I'm only partially aware of the content that motivated your posting, I just wanted to say that I am very impressed by your post. Well done, Jordan.

And best wishes for positive outcomes during this time of your life.

elderboy02 06-05-2009 08:46 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by 14holestogie (Post 410693)
:tpd:

There comes a point when what started as good-natured ribbing becomes an irritant. Only a few people on here know what's that like.

Fun is fun only when both parties concur. When it becomes more than that to one, then it's time to show some restraint and respect the wishes of those individuals.

:tpd: Well said.

I know what Jordan is talking about and I know how frustrated he was getting from conversations I was having with him.

csbrewfisher 06-05-2009 08:52 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Jordan, your honesty is to be admired. I think that reasonable people can expect that because of your forthright and well-thought post, the torment... though intended to be good natured...will stop. I hope it does, and wish you the best for your wedding day and your marriage.

awsmith4 06-05-2009 08:56 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
A joke is a joke only as long as its funny, this one has run its course and maybe what happened in Vegas can stay in Vegas. You were a good sport for a long time but it is time to put this to bed. Hopefully these incidents will turn eventually to fond memories but in the mean time I hope that it does not deter you from enjoying your friends here at the Asylum. All the best wishes to you and Ashley for your upcoming nuptials and may it be a happy and fulfilling time for all.

Dooge 06-05-2009 08:57 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Duly noted, my friend. Not that I'm taking full responsibility for this or saying that I was the ringleader on any of it but I have partaken, even if it was a little here and there.

I feel that it took a man to make the request, and as friends I feel that you had all the right to make the request.

Andy.

poker 06-05-2009 09:00 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

...the mob mentality of this site

Really? I've always thought the Asylum was one of the calmer sites.

loki 06-05-2009 09:10 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by poker (Post 410878)
Really? I've always thought the Asylum was one of the calmer sites.

we've had our share of dog piles in our short time here

poker 06-05-2009 09:11 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Truth I guess. :D

gnukfu 06-05-2009 09:52 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
No clue what you're talking about but what seem be simple jokes can get out of hand. I'm sure the members here will respect your wishes Jordan. :tu

Don Fernando 06-05-2009 10:51 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Jordan, as I said to you in Vegas, I called off something I was going to have made when I saw how upset you were, and I really felt sorry for you. If I offended or insulted you in any way, please accept my appologies.

OLS 06-05-2009 10:56 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by poker (Post 410878)
Really? I've always thought the Asylum was one of the calmer sites.

Ditto. Thank God I don't know WTF he is talking about.

s15driftking 06-05-2009 10:56 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by gnukfu (Post 410943)
No clue what you're talking about but what seem be simple jokes can get out of hand.

True, but jokes are jokes (not playing Devil's advocate FYI).

LasciviousXXX 06-05-2009 11:59 AM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
I've spoken with Jordan about this as I was the one that started this whole ball rolling back on CS. The nickname originated from something I did back in the day and I truly feel bad about how its affected you brother.

I am a the practical joker/always good for a laugh kind of guy and I sometimes forget that people take things differently than I do. I take just as much as I dish out but sometimes need to be reminded that everyone in life has their limits and just because mine are out somewhere near Jupiter, not everyone's is. I've often said to people that you'd pretty much have to call my mother a whore to offend me, and even then...she might have deserved it. It just speaks to my nature as a general goof-ball.

That being said, I'm very sorry its affected you this way bro.

-MG- 06-05-2009 01:27 PM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by JE3146 (Post 410625)
...To summarize, I want things to stop

You won't hear another peep out of me now that I know it was wearing on you. I've also un-hosted a few photochop's that I had done in the past.

Thanks for letting us know this was causing you grief, as I'm sure most of us had no idea and would have ceased long ago had we known the impact.

sikk50 06-05-2009 02:01 PM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
For once I'm quite pleased to be on the outside of things. I only post to send my support as I know how it feels when a joke has gone to far and too long and applaud you for having the courage to step up to your friends and ask for a stop.

icehog3 06-05-2009 04:09 PM

Re: This is LONG overdo. A personal request...
 
I think I posted one pic on CS back when this first started, Jordan, but the joke got old fast. I can only imagine how it was for you if you were offended as time went on. Hope this is the last you need to say on the matter.


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