Guy walks into a bar - Page 2

Mr.Maduro · 09-01-2009, 08:04 AM

An oldie but goodie...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face?

MajorCaptSilly · 09-01-2009, 08:05 AM

There was a fire at the wax lips factory today. All the wax lips melted and there was a big mess.

MCS

09-01-2009, 08:07 AM

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts".

A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

MajorCaptSilly · 08-29-2010, 07:48 PM

The original members of Menudo walk into a bar. Each member is wearing a New Kids on the Block t-shirt, a Backstreet Boys hat, and an NSYNC belt buckle. All the members order a Vodka and orange soda. The bartender says, "That's Keith Richards' favorite drink!". Terence Trent D'Arby was not harmed during the festivities.

MCS

Mr.Maduro · 08-29-2010, 08:15 PM

A buffalo and hippo are getting ready to arm wrestle. Right before the match starts the referee kicks the hippo's chair out from underneath him. The hippo says why'd you do that for? The referee says leave my bologna sandwich alone!

JaKaacH · 08-29-2010, 08:22 PM

A giraffe walks into a bar and says "the high balls are on me"

GolfNut · 08-29-2010, 08:23 PM

I'll admit it. I'm not smarter than a 5th grader..or MCS or MrM.

A man walks into a bar, slips on some beer and falls down. The buffalo just shakes his head and walks out.
Posted via Mobile Device

JaKaacH · 08-29-2010, 08:28 PM

Crystal walks into a bar and says "are you guys sniffing each others bags again".

G G · 08-29-2010, 08:28 PM

A guy walks into a bar, and it broke his nose.

08-29-2010, 08:31 PM

Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve stings here." So the pieces of string walk out.

They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar."

So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts.

Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Hey, you're not a string, are you?"

The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

JaKaacH · 08-29-2010, 08:34 PM

A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender ask what kind, beef or patty?

icehog3 · 08-29-2010, 10:26 PM

A guy walks into a bar, notices his ex-wife is there with a date, and proceeds to eat a whole loaf of banana bread.

Silound · 08-31-2010, 10:49 AM

David Hasselhoff walks into a bar...everyone is immediately drunk from the fumes.

MajorCaptSilly · 08-31-2010, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

A guy walks into a bar, notices his ex-wife is there with a date, and proceeds to eat a whole loaf of banana bread.

That's what I would do.

MCS

icehog3 · 08-31-2010, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

That's what I would do.

MCS

Tell me about it. I must have eaten 60 loaves already. She really gets around.

JaKaacH · 08-31-2010, 11:26 AM

A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender asks "Do you want the gravy on the side".

yourchoice · 08-31-2010, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Scott's harpsicord.

Scott's harpsicord who?

MajorCaptSilly · 08-31-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yourchoice

Scott's harpsicord who?

Scott's harpsicord in a wagon parked by your car! Face! Face! Face!

MCS

MajorCaptSilly · 08-31-2010, 11:42 AM

A bartender walks into a bar. The bartender says "Woah!" Nobody knows which bartender as each bartender's mouth was obscured.

MCS

Starscream · 08-31-2010, 12:02 PM

This thread has been brought to you today by:

The letter Z, the number 789.2, and Gregory Peck.

09-01-2009, 08:04 AM	#21
Mr.Maduro In Domino Confido Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Patrick Location: La Casa del Blueface Posts: 2,905 Trading: (83)	Re: Guy walks into a bar An oldie but goodie... A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? __________________ "Patrick...You low-rent f#@k!!!" - MACMS (Shack V)

09-01-2009, 08:05 AM	#22
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar There was a fire at the wax lips factory today. All the wax lips melted and there was a big mess. MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

09-01-2009, 08:07 AM	#23
ahc4353 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Guy walks into a bar A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt. The bartender asks, "What's that for?" The pirate responds, "Aarrr, its driving me nuts". A drunk walks out of a bar and sees a nun standing at a bus stop. He walks up to her and punches her in the face. When she falls to the ground, he starts screaming, "You're not so tough now, are you, Batman?"

08-29-2010, 07:48 PM	#24
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar The original members of Menudo walk into a bar. Each member is wearing a New Kids on the Block t-shirt, a Backstreet Boys hat, and an NSYNC belt buckle. All the members order a Vodka and orange soda. The bartender says, "That's Keith Richards' favorite drink!". Terence Trent D'Arby was not harmed during the festivities. MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

08-29-2010, 08:15 PM	#25
Mr.Maduro In Domino Confido Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Patrick Location: La Casa del Blueface Posts: 2,905 Trading: (83)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A buffalo and hippo are getting ready to arm wrestle. Right before the match starts the referee kicks the hippo's chair out from underneath him. The hippo says why'd you do that for? The referee says leave my bologna sandwich alone! __________________ "Patrick...You low-rent f#@k!!!" - MACMS (Shack V)

08-29-2010, 08:22 PM	#26
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A giraffe walks into a bar and says "the high balls are on me" __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

08-29-2010, 08:23 PM	#27
GolfNut Back in the woodshop! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Forrest Location: Living room Posts: 1,361 Trading: (38)	Re: Guy walks into a bar I'll admit it. I'm not smarter than a 5th grader..or MCS or MrM. A man walks into a bar, slips on some beer and falls down. The buffalo just shakes his head and walks out. Posted via Mobile Device

08-29-2010, 08:28 PM	#28
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Guy walks into a bar Crystal walks into a bar and says "are you guys sniffing each others bags again". __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

08-29-2010, 08:28 PM	#29
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,751 Trading: (10)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar, and it broke his nose.

08-29-2010, 08:31 PM	#30
nozero Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Guy walks into a bar Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says "Sorry, boys, we don't serve stings here." So the pieces of string walk out. They're sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says "Hey! I've got an idea to get me into the bar." So he starts twisting and turning, wriggling this way and that, pulling out a few threads here and there. His mate's looking at him and thinks he's gone completely nuts. Then the piece of string walks back into the bar. The bartender looks at him a little suspiciously again and says "Hey, you're not a string, are you?" The piece of string replies "No, I'm a frayed knot."

08-29-2010, 08:34 PM	#31
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender ask what kind, beef or patty? __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

08-29-2010, 10:26 PM	#32
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 72,267 Trading: (60)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar, notices his ex-wife is there with a date, and proceeds to eat a whole loaf of banana bread. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

08-31-2010, 10:49 AM	#33
Silound ex-CS Swamp Gorilla Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Somewhere in a swamp, south of sanity Posts: 802 Trading: (15)	Re: Guy walks into a bar David Hasselhoff walks into a bar...everyone is immediately drunk from the fumes. __________________ Back in black, and better than ever! You can't keep a good gorilla down! LSU Geaux Tigers!

08-31-2010, 11:26 AM	#36
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A guy walks into a bar and orders cake. The bartender asks "Do you want the gravy on the side". __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

08-31-2010, 11:42 AM	#39
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: Guy walks into a bar A bartender walks into a bar. The bartender says "Woah!" Nobody knows which bartender as each bartender's mouth was obscured. MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

08-31-2010, 12:02 PM	#40
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: Guy walks into a bar This thread has been brought to you today by: The letter Z, the number 789.2, and Gregory Peck. __________________ Insert quote here.