Anyone struggle with Anxiety?

[Jay Hemingway]

Originally Posted by Scottw

I smoke a natural remedy that seems to help me when I experience anxiety.

i used to smoke that same exact remedy............ until it started giving me anxiety attacks!

[Tenor CS]

Originally Posted by Texan in Mexico

I get it bad on planes sometimes

Don't even get me started. I'm terrified of flying. Haven't been on a plane since 1999.

[floydpink]

Prozac has helped me a lot with work related anxiety.

Speaking of planes, I was returning from an island off Brazil's north coast a few years ago and took a small plane rather than the bumpy boat that had brought me over.

I was sitting by the wing window when the right engine began smoking and we had to do an emergency landing and evacuate the plane in a hurry while fire trucks doused the plane with white foamy stuff as the engine was burning. We were in a remote wooded area about 1 mile from the airport we were trying to return to and the pilot managed to put the 8 passenger twin prop in a field.

There was a row of ambulances waiting and thank God they weren't needed.

It was a very bumpy landing and the scariest day of my life, but I have flown at least 100 times since.

[Fumador]

Originally Posted by shilala

About 10 years ago I used to have anxiety attacks and migraines. The migraines were from the tons of caffiene I took in.
The anxiety attacks would end me up in the ER and they'd draw blood gas because they thought I was having a heart attack. That hurts like hell.
I also had seasonal depression that turned into suicidal depression.
I drank a case of beer a day and tried every drug in the book. Most of them made me puke, so I had to double up.
Long story short...
A guy told me that anxiety comes from looking into the future.
Depression comes from looking into the past.
If I stay in the moment, I can cope. That's as much as I can handle.
It made sense. So I went and got a lot of help from people who had learned how to think in a manner that wasn't killing them, adopted a bunch of perspectives I didn't want to, and found a God that I hadn't wanted.
All that stuff allowed me to become willing to learn how to "stay in the moment". The anxiety has been gone for about five years, the depression hung on a bit longer.

It is absolutely amazing to me that the way I thought made me so incredibly sick.
If I hadn't lived it, I honestly wouldn't believe it. I learned how to think from my Dad, and he's a 100% hopeless alcoholic, and ready for an early grave himself. So it made sense I was in the shape I was in. I just did like I was taught.
I should mention that if it all hadn't been fixed by just learning how to think differently, I'd have never believed that, either. It took a long time, too. A few years of practicing. But it got better slowly. The drugs helped along the way. The one that finally worked for me was serzone. It settled my head down just enough so that I could think straight and listen and accept some reason.

I know this is an old post but I have a life story very similar to yours with a new lease on life. People are astounded that I had such a messed up life before.

[Fumador]

Originally Posted by shilala

It ain't mine, brother. You're as welcome to it as I was.

I let all the anxiety and depression take me to sticking a gun in my mouth. It took cold steel to go "wtf, man?" I knew I could be happy, cause I was before. I knew I could be at peace, because I was before.
The anxiety was the easiest thing to fix.
I found that I had made habit of "knowing" what was going to happen. I knew what people were thinking. I would go over every single thing that was going to happen and compute 1000 outcomes so I could be prepared for any situation, because if I didn't, something absolutely horrible would certainly happen that was out of my control.
My kid could fall down the steps, I could crash the car, I could lose my job, whatever. I had to be eternally vigilant so that I could do the perfect thing at the perfect time so that everything worked out exactly as I had preordained.
It worked out for sh1t, but I bought into that line of thinking 100%, mostly because it had worked well for so long. The wheels really started coming off when it stopped working.
I learned that I don't have a crystal ball.
I learned that I don't know what people are thinking.
I learned that what people think of me is none of my business.
The hardest one to swallow was that I wasn't in control of anything, ever.
There were lots of other things I had to learn, as well, but that's kinda the jist of it.

I was taught that if I worked hard, did my best, and never gave up, I could achieve anything.
I did just that and became very successful. Everything came my way, and it all came easily.
When things started going south, I found it was the greatest lie I had ever bought into. Every fortune I ever had was given me by God's Grace. That one took lots of years for me to even begin to understand.

That aside, I was told to employ a "bullsh1t detector". Every time I started thinking I knew what was going to happen next, or started to think into the future, horns and lights went off in my head and I immediately stopped myself. I didn't have a reason why to do it, or know what would happen. I was just told to do it and did it religiously.
It was very difficult in the beginning. I'd try like hell to stop thinking and just couldn't do it. So I started banging my head on the wall. Literally.
I had a favorite spot between the kitchen and the dining room with a nice wide board in the doorway where I wouldn't catch a corner and cut my forehead. (That got old and made me feel stupid.)
I found that enough pain would stop my brain.
Eventually I got smart enough that it wasn't worth the pain. I'd just stop thinking, albeit grudgingly, and start up again at the very first opportunity.
Habits are very hard to break, and patterns of thinking are just that, habit.

Ultimately, the lasting "cure" for the anxiety came through Faith. Understanding that God has always loved me and always will love and provide for me is what I believe with all my heart and soul. Now I don't have to think about what's coming next, don't project into the future, and don't suffer the physical effects of my old way of thinking. If I end up living under a bridge in a box, I am 100% okay with that. I can still be happy in a box, in the mud, eating out of garbage cans. It'll be a far easier way to live than I live right now, and it'll require a lot less responsibility, and I hate responsibility.

Depression takes a lot more work, and requires a lot more humility, work and time, but I found that there was a lot of relief from giving up on the "what if's". What if I had done it this way, what if I had said this instead, what if I hadn't done this, the list goes on ad finitum.
I used the bullsh1t detector and the foyer wall for that, too.
Ultimately I had to go back and right all the wrongs, make amends, ask forgiveness from all the people I'd hurt along the way, and then I was able to ask God's forgiveness. That cleaned the slate, and the depression has been gone since.

The whole "fix" takes a lot of time. There's a lot of avenues, and lots of different levels of relief. Some people are happy with just feeling well enough that they don't want to kill themselves every day.
I've heard mention that people have found ways to get it done without God, and that they're perfectly content. I can't comment on that cause I didn't go that way. What I do know is that I tried all the drugs, all the alcohol, all the counselors, all the psychiatrists, all the doctors, and everything anyone suggested for about five years and none gave me any lasting relief. That five years of effort ended up with me sucking on a .35 Remington in my dining room.

I can go on forever, but all I really wanted to say is that there's a way out. Once you know that, there's Hope. As long as there's Hope, there's a reason to keep trying.
You'll be fine. Just work on it, and know it takes time to change old habits. Know this, too...
I found I couldn't fix a sick mind with a sick mind. That's why I had to take direction from others and do what I was told. If I was still trying to fix my head by myself, I'd be right where I started.

Ditto except for the banging head part.

[shilala]

Originally Posted by Fumador

Ditto except for the banging head part.

The head banging was the least painful part for the first few years.

[Don Fernando]

Originally Posted by Tenor CS

In the last two months, I have had severe difficulty sleeping. I have trouble falling asleep. When I do get to sleep, it's a fitful sleep. If I wake up earlier than planned (e.g. I wake up at 4 when I don't need to be up till 7) I can't fall back asleep.

I have a sleep study next week so that a professional can tell me what I've suspected for a long while, that I have sleep apnea. I am morbidly obese and I'm sure that that contributes to my health problems as well.

You don't need a sleep study, you have sleep apnea. There is a thread about this on the board, read it, there is good information there.

Back on the anxiety, I don't have it but my ex girlfriend had panic attacks, severe panic attacks and the took xeroxat for that, and when she had an attack she took a pill called temesta which calmed her down. I tried a quarter temesta one day and sat on the couch like a zombie for hours, that stuff was strong!

To be honest, I always thought that she was overreacting, how bad could a panic attack be? A few months after we broke up I was scheduled for an MRA and while in that machine I got my first (and only) panic attack ever. That's when I realized how she felt at least once a day and I felt sorry for her.

[AAlmeter]

Runs in the family. Many here can attest to the fact that I am a type A know-it-all who has to have every problem sorted out. Back in college is when it was at its worst. Being trapped in a world where I had little control really got to me. I rarely slept, and when I did, I awaken shortly after falling asleep to an irregular heartbeat that I can only describe as feeling similar to the feeling just before you cough when you are sick and are coughing up a large amount of the chunky stuff.

After I left college it diminished somewhat, but then reared up again in full force when I was 25. I had taken off to work a job in a new area, away from everything, living out of a hotel, high stress job. 2 weeks into it, my girlfriend amicably broke up with me, and then she decided she didnt want the whole remain cordial part. Id get calls at 5am telling me Im awful, and to this day I still deal with her occasional calls and texts. Needless to say, that was a bad time. There was no sleep, there was a lot of booze. I withdrew from a lot of things, including here CS then, I think), because I just couldnt handle it. Even the thought of deciding between two cigars was too much stress for me. It was kind of through default that a few things happened to ultimately help me along. One, I just stopped everything. I was done. I no longer made any decisions. I was able to get by with work, and actually did a very good job, but personally, I did nothing. I wouldnt even order at restaurants....I told them to bring me something. It wasn't a form of prescribed treatment or anything like that, it was more a mix of no longer caring and being too exhausted to even consider picking a meal. I guess what I'm trying to illustrate is that I put more faith into others helping me out.

Another thing I did (again, not prescribed, just examining these periods in my life and what helped) was I instinctively found a role model. Never really thought about it at the time, but I naturally gravitated towards an older gentleman working with me. He was away from his wife, who had been stricken with cancer. He certainly had a lot more on his plate than I had....but he was able to deal with it...I'd lose it over ordering a f'in meal at Chilis. I learned to emulate him and his "go with the flow" attitude, and that helped a lot...not only with dealing with anxiety, but also with my professional career.

Finally, I learned a bit more about the importance of God. I have a very odd idea of God, I think. I like to think that He exists, I firmly believe that a society believing in a Judeo-Christian God is the most moral and productive society, but I would not go so far as to label myself a full believer. Despite my feelings, I think I am more naturally inclined to find label myself as a deist...though I honestly find myself leaning, or at least wishing to lean, more closely towards Catholicism than Deism. The reason I say that is to explain that I am not particularly religious, yet I have found that having that faith and the idea that someone is there to guide and help you through anything can be very productive in combating anxiety and depression.

I'm still not free from anxiety. A few times a month I will lose it, always when Im inactive and have nothing concrete and immediate that I can concentrate on. That leads me to the final advice that I can give. Get involved in something can consume your thoughts, you enjoy, and can be completely yours. I have several. I really enjoy building. From home improvement to woodworking. Woodworking is especially beneficial because there really is no added anxiety. With home improvement, you need to worry about paying for the granite countertop, how will you get the house closed up, thousands of things. When you're making a box or a pen just to create something beautiful that you enjoy, there are few worries. The other is hunting. Ive found this to be very difficult, yet very rewarding. When you're sitting there doing nothing, its very easy for the mind to wander. But it is one hell of an exercise to get yourself to focus on the nothingness of the woods and to learn to take in the now, to focus on every little aspect of what is currently happening in the hope that you will see that glimpse of an antler, the slight sound of a buck 100 yards off walking through soft snow, etc. Hunting became my ultimate test.

Others in my family have dealt with it other ways (2 diagnosed, my father and I have not been officially diagnosed as we haven't seen anyone about it). One brother (diagnosed) has changed completely since he was hit with it. Its nearly impossible to even hold a conversation with him. Its like he's not even there. He has done yoga, meditation, pharmaceuticals, and drinks a bit. My father grins and bears it. He rarely sleeps. My sister (diagnosed) drinks, she has shown little progress at all. My other brother has the most stress of all of us, and never has an issue with it....go figure.

Best of luck to you. It can be absolutely horrible, but it can also be controlled and cured. There are plenty here to help, and feel free to PM me if you like, but from my experiences, that will only cause you to think about the things I say and how they apply to your life and what you're feeling and will further compound things. Its a f'in ***** aint it? Grab some laughs where you can, and branch out. Learn to flip that switch off and immerse yourself in pointless activities. It was necessary for a caveman to mindlessly stare at the fire to recharge, its necessary for modern man to mindlessly stare at TV (or Jessica Alba) to recharge....learn to turn that brain of yours off for a while, and you'll be OK. We all have stress, but its impossible to deal with when you're exhausted from anxiety.

[shilala]

Good post, Adam.
I just stopped thinking, which is kind of odd sounding, but I have.
Not the thinking that I do when I'm figuring out how to get dressed or cook something, I quit thinking about me. My problems, my life, what's going to happen next, how things will turn out, what I should do, where the next meal will come from, all that kind of stuff.
I let God do that and it just happens.
I did the same "pick a role model" routine, too. Once I learned all he could teach me, I picked another, then another, then another, and ended up at Christ. I still have lots to learn from Him, so it's gonna take awhile.
I still take suggestions and ask for help from everyone around me.
I went to dinner the other night and told the waitress "I want some tamales and whatever the gentleman cooking wants to throw on the plate."
I just wanted to make comment because there were so many parallels in your post and mine.

[borndead1]

Had terrible anxiety and panic attacks for years before I finally "admitted defeat" and got on Prozac. It takes the edge off without changing your personality. Doc also gave me Oxazepam which is a weaker version of Klonopin. Oxazepam is good stuff because I could take it at work and not be a zombie. I would definitely recommend Oxazepam instead of Klonazepam (Klonopin).


I felt like I was being punished, or that I was standing outside myself and watching myself go insane. I would burst into tears or fly into a rage for no reason, couldn't sleep and had nightmares when I did, had obsessive horrible thoughts. I would imagine what it would feel like to cut my tongue off with a pair of scissors. Then once that thought came I couldn't get rid of it. It was as if I lost control of my thought process.

My anxiety/panic attacks was a drug-induced condition. I partook a little too much in the chemical dept. (meth) and I basically short circuited my brain. Been drug free for going on 12 years now. I have a few drinks now and then though.


EDIT: Exercise does help quite a bit. Push-ups are good. Push-ups with somebody underneath you are even better.

[Starscream]

Originally Posted by floydpink

I once mixed valium with viagra to try to relieve 2 things at once and felt like if you don't get a f*ck, you don't give a f*ck.

Mother ****er

here I was selfishly thinking no one else was like this. No one else experienced thoughts just rushing by at the speed of light and futile trying to grasp every one of them and follow each to its end. There is no end, just the answer to one question leading to more questions. Having to know all those answers before being able to give a response to the original question. Thereby being debilitated by my own thoughts. Not able to make the simple choices like which cigar to smoke, which shirt to wear, what beer to drink and God help you if you don't know what we are doing for dinner because I will damn near go to throwing punches before having to answer one more question. Not knowing how to explain that all that is going on. Feeling like a complete failure because I have this problem and I can't sort it out, which, of course, compounds the whole situation. Looking for something, anything to keep my mind busy so I don't have to stay in my head, but everything loses its interest pretty quick when you think about nothing but that one thing. Video games helped, but if they were short or repetitive it defeated the purpose and just lead to more frustration. I keep having recurring suicidal thoughts. Each one of them a different method, and each more vivid than the previous. It's changed my marriage. I love my wife, but I don't want to hear that she has some kind of problem because I've created so many of my own problems that are only in my head and I want to help her but I can't because there is already too much going on. I can't explain that to her because that shows up as being weak, in my head again, and I can't do that either. We want kids and this is something I don't want them to have to deal with and that throws another wrench into this.

Reading through the posts above has given me some insight, but also as said above

There are plenty here to help, and feel free to PM me if you like, but from my experiences, that will only cause you to think about the things I say and how they apply to your life and what you're feeling and will further compound things. Its a f'in ***** aint it?

I know he's right. It's kind of already started.


How do you stop the questions? How do you keep yourself distracted? How do you make it ok to not have all the answers to the questions no one will ever ask? How do you keep from taking it out on others?

Stopping now before this obsession takes the rest of my day, but I thank you all for sharing your experiences.

[Thaplumbr]

How do you stop the questions? How do you keep yourself distracted? How do you make it ok to not have all the answers to the questions no one will ever ask? How do you keep from taking it out on others?

for myself talking to my family and my doctor has helped, Zoloft is my friend nowadays! just my
Leroy

[hammondc]

Bump old thread. I am struggling these days. Had General Anxiety Disorder years ago and I think it is rearing its ugly head again. Panic attacks and general feeling of anxiety.

[jjirons69]

Chip, here's wishing you the best, my friend. Lots of good advice in this thread. Don't get too out of the lines before seeing a medical professional. I like MCS's advice of treating it like a game and not letting it win, but I know the game can be horrible at times. Never be ashamed to ask for help. I, like a lot of us, don't have a problem with you PM'ing if you ever need to chat. Support goes along way. Good luck!!

[sikk50]

I struggle with it. I'm the guy that will take a drug test, having never done drugs, and stress over it for weeks. Little things like that become crippling to me sometimes. I have no idea why or where I got this trait. With my new job I've noticed I've experienced it a lot less, so I'm wondering if it came from 9 years at my previous job.

[hammondc]

I struggled really hard about 4 years ago when I was in grad school and working full time. That was the first time I had panic attacks and it completely wrecked me. I got on Lexapro for about 90 days and that broke the vicious cycle. No problems until we had baby boy back in September. Roller coaster ride since then. The mind is a big asshole for playing tricks. I had a rough weekend and ended up getting a short Rx for Xanax, but was only taking 1/4 of one .25mg tab. I am NOT a fan of these very strong drugs, but I went to urgent care and that is what they insisted on.

I go tomorrow to my regular doc to see if he thinks I should get back on a regular small dose of Lexapro---last time I was only taking 1/2 of a 5mg pill every night. Alternatively, should I just keep something like Xanax or Ativan to get me out of the funk when things get deep. Normally, I would relieve stress via running or working out, but I am out of commission on both accounts for a long while - Jacked up rotator cuff in my shoulder and Achilles Tendonosis in my left feet (which is going to require wearing a custom brace for 6-12months).

[jjirons69]

Sounds like you're doing the correct things, Chip. Kudos.

I'm a sucker for one-liners, also. Just a few of my favorites.

• When in doubt, just take the next small step.
• You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
• Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
• If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
• Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
• Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
• The best is yet to come.

Originally Posted by akakirby

...the doctor gave me zoloft for about a year I then decided I did not want to take it anymore so I stopped, I can control it better now (breathing and thinking it through) and it has gotten better I very rarely get panic attacks anymore but still have anxiety sometimes, I try to breath and just think my way through it...

Breathing exercises can do wonders for dealing with stress and anxiety... throw in some mental exercises and you basically have meditation... which is my recommendation... Very simple... yet transformative in my most humble opinion...

Try this...

Robulous's guide to meditation

Go to Rainymood.com

sit Indian style on the floor or other non backed chair... rock back and forward, left and right... find your center of gravity and then hold it with comfortable, but not lazy, posture....

Close your eyes... Breathe from the diaphragm... count the inhales of your breaths... once you get to 10 count right back down to 1...

Dont worry if you miss a count or two... after doing this exercise for about 5 minutes I start to loose sensation, feeling, consciousness < pick one> of all of my body other then my head... <which I refer to as the "head plane" because it is as if there was a plane intersecting my neck and I become aware of nothing below it...>

I continue this till I feel calm and peaceful....usually doesn't take longer then 10 mins.... the more often you do it the quicker you will be able to ascend to the "head plane" which is the part of meditation that, In my personal opinion, is where the benefits of meditation come from...

after much, much practice, monks and other practitioners can maintain and even enter the "head plane" with their eyes open or while walking around...



My half-assed guide and terminology aside, Meditation is very powerful and beneficial, I would definitely give it a shot.... ESPECIALLY BEFORE ZOLOFT!!! My Mom was on it for YEARS and coming off of it was brutal on the family to say the least...

oh... and FYI... when I wrote the above I had only read the first page...

guess you have found a solution, atleast I hope, by now that works... if not give meditation a shot... cause I'm not going to go through the effort of deleting all that typing I did for nothing....