Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 01-27-2009, 11:05 PM   #1
MedicCook
Mila smoked my cigar
 
MedicCook's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Ryan
Location: Schaghticoke, NY
Posts: 10,946
Trading: (7)
LGC
MedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud ofMedicCook has much to be proud of
Talking Things to do on an Elevator

Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.
MedicCook is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-27-2009, 11:16 PM   #2
GKitty
JAFO
 
GKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Crystal
Location: Olathe, KS
Posts: 1,938
Trading: (8)
HdM
GKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really nice
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

*printing off a list to take to work*



Thank you!

*Note: Post # 500. In the Jokes forum. How appropriate.
__________________
A lost SOTL wandering the weird landscape of domesticity.
GKitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 12:52 AM   #3
jamesb3
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

I'm gonna do these at my Grandmothers senior highrise. What a hoot!
  Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 12:56 AM   #4
icehog3
Admiral Douchebag
 
icehog3's Avatar
15
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Tom
Location: Clermont, Kentucky
Posts: 71,441
Trading: (60)
HUpmann
icehog3 has disabled reputation
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

Two people on an elevator, one farts, everybody knows who did it.

Apologies to George Carlin.
__________________


Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!
icehog3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 11:15 AM   #5
karmaz00
Habanos
 
karmaz00's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
First Name: Jason
Location: victoria
Posts: 1,855
Trading: (1)
Partagas
karmaz00 is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

lol good one
karmaz00 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 11:54 AM   #6
Kreth
Ronin smoker
 
Kreth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Jeff
Location: Oneonta, NY
Posts: 3,620
Trading: (14)
Kreth is just really niceKreth is just really niceKreth is just really niceKreth is just really nice
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
Two people on an elevator, one farts, everybody knows who did it.

Apologies to George Carlin.
It's all about the timing. You fart as you're getting off on your floor. (most effective if you can do it just as the doors are closing)
Kreth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 11:56 AM   #7
AD720
I'm nuts for the place
 
AD720's Avatar
1
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Andrew
Location: The City of BOTL-erly Love
Posts: 2,684
Trading: (73)
Partagas
AD720 is a jewel in the roughAD720 is a jewel in the roughAD720 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kreth View Post
It's all about the timing. You fart as you're getting off on your floor. (most effective if you can do it just as the doors are closing)


a/k/a "Cropdusting"
__________________
AD720 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-28-2009, 12:30 PM   #8
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,625
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default Re: Things to do on an Elevator

If you are alone in the elevator, face the back corner with legs slightly spread. When the next person goes to get on, act surprised, say "sorry" and turn back around, checking to make sure your fly is closed.

Amazing reactions.
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:52 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.