Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 05-24-2013, 11:42 AM   #1
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Smile Dealing With The Maid...

The maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk To her about the raise.

She asked: "Why do you want a pay increase?"

Maid: "Well ma'am, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you."

Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?"

Maid: "Your husband says so."

Wife: "Oh yeah?"

Maid: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you."

Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?"

Maid: "Your husband did."

Wife, increasingly agitated: "Oh he did, did he?"

Maid: "The third reason is that I am better at sex than you in bed."

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth: "And did my husband say that as well?"

Maid: "No ma'am.... The gardener did."

Wife: "So, how much do you want?"
__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 11:48 AM   #2
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 11:52 AM   #3
The Poet
Il megglior fabbro
 
The Poet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
First Name: Thomas
Location: Hickory, NC
Posts: 8,420
Trading: (2)
The Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud ofThe Poet has much to be proud of
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

Me, I haven't had a raise in years, so screw her.


__________________
Ninety percent of everything is crap - Theodore Sturgeon.
The Poet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 11:58 AM   #4
czerbe
Just a Traveling Man
 
czerbe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
First Name: Corey
Location: Reading Pa
Posts: 1,309
Trading: (2)
Partagas
czerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura aboutczerbe has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

__________________
Live fast, hard, everyday like its your last.
czerbe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 12:34 PM   #5
big_jaygee
I'm nuts for the place
 
big_jaygee's Avatar
9
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
First Name: Jason
Location: Houston
Posts: 3,914
Trading: (59)
big_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to beholdbig_jaygee is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

big_jaygee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 01:07 PM   #6
363
Infecting Via PM
 
363's Avatar
2
 
Join Date: May 2012
First Name: Brendon
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,773
Trading: (35)
RA
363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about363 has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

lol
__________________
Support our Troops "do NOT put pizza in your briar without letting it cool off Brendon" - Sterns
363 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 01:41 PM   #7
ironchefscott
Adjusting to the Life
 
ironchefscott's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
First Name: scott
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 363
Trading: (5)
HUpmann
ironchefscott will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

this made me chuckle
ironchefscott is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 01:50 PM   #8
Ciro
Enjoying the Show!
 
Ciro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 461
Trading: (11)
SLR
Ciro has disabled reputation
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

Ciro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-24-2013, 07:46 PM   #9
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: Dealing With The Maid...

__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:35 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.