Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you guys

billybarue · 02-05-2012, 10:16 PM

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

BB

sevans105 · 02-05-2012, 10:25 PM

Niiiiiiice. Got me with that one! I vote replace.....both of them!

icehog3 · 02-05-2012, 10:26 PM

Replace the whole bracket, and use the broken one to saw off her head. Drink the blood from her skull, bury her body in the crawlspace, and use her eyes for "Click-Clacks."

replicant_argent · 02-05-2012, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by icehog3

Replace the whole bracket, and use the broken one to saw off her head. Drink the blood from her skull, bury her body in the crawlspace, and use her eyes for "Click-Clacks."

All I ever got was "Squish-Squishes."

icehog3 · 02-05-2012, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by replicant_argent

All I ever got was "Squish-Squishes."

You gotta bake them first....I made the squish-squish mistake with the first couple I killed. Then I got it down to a science.

cjhalbrooks · 02-05-2012, 10:26 PM

Man i didn't catch this was in the joke section i was like holy ****. I now that i know its a joke......

02-05-2012, 10:32 PM

I was going to type a HUGE message about forgivness and marriage and literally was like poor guy and then read it again and was like D@mnit! Got me, however I am glad to see something like that wasn't happening!

kelmac07 · 02-05-2012, 10:36 PM

02-05-2012, 11:03 PM

and actually bake them the microwave isn't an option and will smell for weeks!

icehog3 · 02-05-2012, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coty

and actually bake them the microwave isn't an option and will smell for weeks!

Meh....some of us enjoy the smell of our dead, cheating wives' burning flesh.

backwoods357 · 02-05-2012, 11:14 PM

The feet bones also make great drawer pulls.

Zeuceone · 02-06-2012, 01:09 AM

this one always gets people, havent read this version.

MrClean · 02-06-2012, 01:31 AM

I love this one. The first time I read a version of it, I got totally suckered

irratebass · 02-06-2012, 04:49 AM

Good god Tommy, you're a sick f**k

Skywalker · 02-06-2012, 02:14 PM

Nice!!!

02-06-2012, 02:18 PM

Hem · 02-06-2012, 02:26 PM

Man that got me good. I have got to stop hitting the "Today's Posts" button and just clicking on threads lol

MurphysLaw · 02-06-2012, 02:57 PM

an oldie, but a goodie

02-05-2012, 10:16 PM	#1
billybarue Still Watching My Back Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 226 Trading: (5)	Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you guys I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket? BB __________________ "A Nation that makes a great distinction between its scholars and its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting done by fools." --- Thucydides

02-05-2012, 10:25 PM	#2
sevans105 Alpha Zombie Wolf "Sceve" Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Scott Location: Southern Minnesota Posts: 1,786 Trading: (30)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g Niiiiiiice. Got me with that one! I vote replace.....both of them! __________________

02-05-2012, 10:26 PM	#3
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,441 Trading: (60)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g Replace the whole bracket, and use the broken one to saw off her head. Drink the blood from her skull, bury her body in the crawlspace, and use her eyes for "Click-Clacks." __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

02-05-2012, 10:26 PM	#6
cjhalbrooks I am behind you. SHHHHH Join Date: Dec 2011 First Name: Cory Location: Under a Bridge, trying to find the troll who stole my soul. Posts: 1,370 Trading: (20)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g Man i didn't catch this was in the joke section i was like holy ****. I now that i know its a joke...... __________________ GMCGTPWHAF Tennessee Chapter. Down with the bloody BIG HEAD

02-05-2012, 10:32 PM	#7
coty Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g I was going to type a HUGE message about forgivness and marriage and literally was like poor guy and then read it again and was like D@mnit! Got me, however I am glad to see something like that wasn't happening!

02-05-2012, 10:36 PM	#8
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

02-05-2012, 11:03 PM	#9
coty Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g and actually bake them the microwave isn't an option and will smell for weeks!

02-05-2012, 11:14 PM	#11
backwoods357 Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Mar 2011 First Name: Jorgen Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 349 Trading: (14)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g The feet bones also make great drawer pulls.

02-06-2012, 01:09 AM	#12
Zeuceone You're next Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: G Location: SoCal Posts: 1,737 Trading: (16)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g this one always gets people, havent read this version. __________________ It's just *THIS* this easy to help out the troops.

02-06-2012, 01:31 AM	#13
MrClean Bald Man Join Date: Sep 2011 First Name: Jeff Location: KC MO Posts: 2,229 Trading: (28)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g I love this one. The first time I read a version of it, I got totally suckered __________________ http://jeffcarrollphotos.com Not a photographer, just a dude with a camera. Proud member of the GMCGTPWHAFA

02-06-2012, 04:49 AM	#14
irratebass EMPEROR TOMPKINS Join Date: Aug 2011 First Name: Mickey Location: Mooresville, Indiana Posts: 8,313 Trading: (48)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g Good god Tommy, you're a sick f**k __________________

02-06-2012, 02:14 PM	#15
Skywalker BABOTL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Dice Location: Galaxy Far Far Away Posts: 10,168 Trading: (18)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g Nice!!! __________________ Smoke what you like!!!

02-06-2012, 02:18 PM	#16
LigaPrivadaT84 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g

02-06-2012, 02:26 PM	#17
Hem Feeling at Home Join Date: Jan 2012 First Name: Bill Location: Tampa (Cigar City) Posts: 826 Trading: (13)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g Man that got me good. I have got to stop hitting the "Today's Posts" button and just clicking on threads lol

02-06-2012, 02:57 PM	#18
MurphysLaw Anything can go wrong Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: Brian Location: SoFlo Posts: 2,823 Trading: (19)	Re: Never thought it would happen - Desperately need advice from you g an oldie, but a goodie __________________ It's THIS easy to help our Troops.