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#1 |
Splitter of Hairs
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- You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
- You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes. - You have more wives than teeth. - You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean." - You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide. - You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against. - You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing. - You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs. - You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least two. - You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
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Never try and teach a pig to sing. It frustrates you and irritates the pig. |
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#3 |
Have My Own Room
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"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff |
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#5 |
Captain Cannoli
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Im trying to read these off to my wife, but Im having a hard time cause Im laughing so hard! ROFL!!!!
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"One fart can foul the air for everyone" - Esteemed philosopher "If avoiding the nasty $hit is being a snob, them I am guilty as charged."- Same esteemed philosopher. |
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#6 | |
Have My Own Room
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Artillery Lends Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be a Vulgar Brawl |
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#7 |
Chief Wannastogie Lounge
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Yee - haw! Pass the banjo!
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"I intend to smoke a good cigar to the glory of God..." ~ Charles H. Spurgeon, British Baptist preacher |
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#8 |
Dad Jokester Supreme
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...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide |
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