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Old 06-24-2010, 03:33 PM   #1
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Default Opening lines
Don posted an honest thread in the ladie's room about how to approach a woman, and had it
locked before I could respond, lol. And even though this thread could devolve into a
'joke' thread pretty easily, I would think it would be a much better use of our time if we helped
the corpa masculina ( I made that up to sound latin) by telling the lines that ACTUALLY worked
on women. I do not mind saying it, my best relationships with women have come to be through
humor. They didn't last long, mine never do. But they had INTENSE starts and as a hideous
man, I am lucky that I had such a hot streak in college. Cause it's sure over NOW. And I DID
DJ in a popular nightclub back then, so women wanted me and didn't quite know why.
Ahhhh. I hate being old.

ANYWAY, I got well into the lacey underbelly of a young co-ed who worked in the information
desk at the University of Southern Mississippi one semester by saying this"

"Excuse me, i am sorry to bother you, but this IS the information desk?"
"Yes."
"Can you tell me the circumference of the Earth?"

It was all horizontal from there. For 3 glorious weeks. Granted, I had to follow up with
good chat, a little weed and the best oral sex she ever had, but that's how it started.
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:01 PM   #2
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Default Re: Opening lines
"You wanna fool around?" works pretty good.
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:13 PM   #3
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Default Re: Opening lines
The one that always worked for me was..."Hey I'm Albert and you are?"

You may want to substitute your own name but hey do what ever you think will work
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:20 PM   #4
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Default Re: Opening lines
Hey, I'm Albert and you are....?
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:21 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GKitty View Post
Hey, I'm Albert and you are....?
Sister Smith how you doin?
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:32 PM   #6
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by awsmith4 View Post
"Hey I'm Albert and you are?"
That might actually work better than Pete. Not that I would need to ever say such a thing, but being prepared is what it is all about.
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:29 PM   #7
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by OLS View Post
It was all horizontal from there. For 3 glorious weeks. Granted, I had to follow up with
good chat, a little weed and the best oral sex she ever had, but that's how it started.
Now that is the way to a lady's heart, Brad!
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Old 06-24-2010, 04:41 PM   #8
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"Excuse me but I seem to have lost the keys for my vintage 1973 AMC Gremlin. Would you have time to help me find them? I'll let you drive it."

MCS
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:11 PM   #9
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Yo doll, I love your hair !
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Old 06-24-2010, 06:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: Opening lines
Nce shoes, want to ........(insert your own vernacular)
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Old 07-15-2010, 05:21 PM   #11
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lear31MX View Post
Nce shoes, want to ........(insert your own vernacular)
A Good Friend Of Mine Used That Line At Work After A Young Lady Presented With A New Boob Job And Was "Written Up"!
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:38 PM   #12
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly View Post
"Excuse me but I seem to have lost the keys for my vintage 1973 AMC Gremlin. Would you have time to help me find them? I'll let you drive it."

MCS
"Sorry, I only drive Pacers".

-Some Random Chick
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:54 PM   #13
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
"Sorry, I only drive Pacers".

-Some Random Chick
Tom had a Cherry Vega is my guess.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:02 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by replicant_argent View Post
Tom had a Cherry Vega is my guess.
I am not sure her name was Vega, Pete.
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Old 07-15-2010, 02:19 PM   #15
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly View Post
"Excuse me but I seem to have lost the keys for my vintage 1973 AMC Gremlin. Would you have time to help me find them? I'll let you drive it."

MCS
Oh man I miss my Gremlin X in Metallic Forest Green with gold accents. I'd LOVE
to have that car today. It's the 66 Goat I REALLY miss, though.

Now that I have mentioned it and broken the ice taboo, "Wanna get HIGH?" used to REALLY
work back in the 80's and I hear it worked in the 70's too. I wouldn't know until 1979, however.
And now I can't inhale anything.
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Old 06-25-2010, 06:04 AM   #16
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Default Re: Opening lines
Quote:
Originally Posted by icehog3 View Post
Now that is the way to a lady's heart, Brad!
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Old 06-24-2010, 07:21 PM   #17
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Default Re: Opening lines
Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips!!!!
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:17 PM   #18
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Quote:
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Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips!!!!
Whats the first?... HAHA :-P
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:23 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colinb913 View Post
Whats the first?... HAHA :-P
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Puff a cigar.
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Old 06-24-2010, 08:26 PM   #20
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Puff a cigar.
Oh. Just clarifying.
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