Farm Humor

BlackDog · 02-04-2010, 05:01 PM

8 year old Jonny lives on the family farm with his parents. One particular morning, he is annoyed as all heck that he has to get up so early and feed the animals. On his way into the chicken coup, a hen gets under his foot and trips him up. He gives the chicken a swift kick to get it out of the way. When he enters the pig pen with a bucket of slop, the pigs rush in around him and knock him down into the mud. Getting up, filthy, he grabs the now empty slop bucket and bops one of the pigs on the head with it. When he tries to open the cattle gate to toss out some fresh hay, the cows are all so anxious for their food that they are crowding around and won't let Jonny open the gate. After smacking several of the cattle on their heads to get them to move, he's finally able to get in and finish his feeding routine.

Once he gets cleaned up back in the house, he heads downstairs for breakfast, where his mother has set out a bowl of dry cereal for him. Puzzled, Jonny asks his mom "Hey, what's this? I usually have milk in my cereal and a side of bacon and eggs. What's going on?"

His mother explains "I saw you kick that chicken this morning; For that, you won't be having eggs for a week. I also saw you hit one of our pigs with the slop bucket; For that, you won't get any bacon for a week as well. And when you went out to feed the cows, I saw you hitting them instead of being patient and trying to move them calmly; For that, no milk for two weeks."

Grumbling, Jonny starts picking at his dry cereal. Just then, his father is coming down the stairs for his breakfast when the cat runs between his legs, nearly causing him fall down the remaining 7 stairs. Aggravated, he winds back and kicks the cat out of the way. Jonny looks up from his cereal and asks his mom "Do you want to tell him, or should I?"

CBI_2 · 02-04-2010, 08:23 PM

Col. Kurtz · 02-04-2010, 08:38 PM

No Chinese food for a week?

marge796 · 02-04-2010, 08:42 PM

ucla695 · 02-04-2010, 08:56 PM

02-04-2010, 09:14 PM

Nice!

Hey, what do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm?

A bigamist.

MedicCook · 02-04-2010, 10:56 PM

kelmac07 · 02-05-2010, 03:21 PM

Good one.

G G · 02-05-2010, 03:56 PM

Very nice, Johnny is a very perceptive 8 year old.

Blindjimme · 02-05-2010, 05:14 PM

Now that's just good!

CasaDooley · 02-05-2010, 10:22 PM

meouch!

Mr.Erskine · 02-05-2010, 10:34 PM

That's awesome

02-04-2010, 05:01 PM	#1
BlackDog Gonna make you groove... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Warren Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 2,468 Trading: (19)	Farm Humor 8 year old Jonny lives on the family farm with his parents. One particular morning, he is annoyed as all heck that he has to get up so early and feed the animals. On his way into the chicken coup, a hen gets under his foot and trips him up. He gives the chicken a swift kick to get it out of the way. When he enters the pig pen with a bucket of slop, the pigs rush in around him and knock him down into the mud. Getting up, filthy, he grabs the now empty slop bucket and bops one of the pigs on the head with it. When he tries to open the cattle gate to toss out some fresh hay, the cows are all so anxious for their food that they are crowding around and won't let Jonny open the gate. After smacking several of the cattle on their heads to get them to move, he's finally able to get in and finish his feeding routine. Once he gets cleaned up back in the house, he heads downstairs for breakfast, where his mother has set out a bowl of dry cereal for him. Puzzled, Jonny asks his mom "Hey, what's this? I usually have milk in my cereal and a side of bacon and eggs. What's going on?" His mother explains "I saw you kick that chicken this morning; For that, you won't be having eggs for a week. I also saw you hit one of our pigs with the slop bucket; For that, you won't get any bacon for a week as well. And when you went out to feed the cows, I saw you hitting them instead of being patient and trying to move them calmly; For that, no milk for two weeks." Grumbling, Jonny starts picking at his dry cereal. Just then, his father is coming down the stairs for his breakfast when the cat runs between his legs, nearly causing him fall down the remaining 7 stairs. Aggravated, he winds back and kicks the cat out of the way. Jonny looks up from his cereal and asks his mom "Do you want to tell him, or should I?" __________________ "We live in the good of this."

02-04-2010, 08:23 PM	#2
CBI_2 Have My Own Room Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Paul Location: In my skin. Posts: 2,066 Trading: (0)	Re: Farm Humor __________________ "The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff

02-04-2010, 08:38 PM	#3
Col. Kurtz Have My Own Room Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Jerry Location: South Appleton Posts: 1,839 Trading: (26)	Re: Farm Humor No Chinese food for a week? __________________ Artillery Lends Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be a Vulgar Brawl

02-04-2010, 08:42 PM	#4
marge796 It Just Doesn’t Matter!!! Join Date: Feb 2009 First Name: Chris Location: Topeka KS Posts: 1,624 Trading: (28)	Re: Farm Humor __________________ “Don’t talk to me about naval tradition. It’s nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.” -Sir Winston Churchill

02-04-2010, 08:56 PM	#5
ucla695 Neither here, nor there Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: The Pool Posts: 3,696 Trading: (5)	Re: Farm Humor

02-04-2010, 09:14 PM	#6
bookman Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Farm Humor Nice! Hey, what do you call a farmer with a sheep under each arm? A bigamist.

02-04-2010, 10:56 PM	#7
MedicCook Mila smoked my cigar Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Ryan Location: Schaghticoke, NY Posts: 10,946 Trading: (7)	Re: Farm Humor __________________ 27 World Series Championship's "If your wife doesn't like the aroma of your cigar, change your wife.", Zino Davidoff

02-05-2010, 03:21 PM	#8
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Farm Humor Good one. __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

02-05-2010, 03:56 PM	#9
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,725 Trading: (10)	Re: Farm Humor Very nice, Johnny is a very perceptive 8 year old.

02-05-2010, 05:14 PM	#10
Blindjimme Judgement Impaired Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: JB Location: North OC, CA Posts: 790 Trading: (14)	Re: Farm Humor Now that's just good!

02-05-2010, 10:22 PM	#11
CasaDooley Herf Crew of 2 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Kevin Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day Posts: 2,465 Trading: (41)	Re: Farm Humor meouch! __________________ *Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers*

02-05-2010, 10:34 PM	#12
Mr.Erskine Looking up Join Date: Jan 2010 First Name: Benjamin Location: Dover, DE Posts: 297 Trading: (1)	Re: Farm Humor That's awesome __________________ Cornbread... Ain't nothin' wrong with that.