Not Quite Limericks

cmitch · 01-25-2013, 06:46 PM

In the nights of old and the sky was blue,
through the dark alleys the sh!t wagons flew.
A bump was hit and a cry was heard,
a man was killed by a flying turd.

______

She offered her honor;
He honored her offer;
And all night long
He was on her and off her!

______

Here lay the grave of Micheal O'Day
Who died maintaining his right of way.
His right was clear, his will was strong
But he is just as dead,
As if he were wrong

______

Humpty Dumpty Sat On The Wall
Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall
All The Kings Horses And All The Kings Men
Could Not Put Humpty Dumpty Together Again
So They Made a HUGE A$$ OMELETTE!

icehog3 · 01-25-2013, 07:04 PM

Some purty good ones there.

SvilleKid · 01-25-2013, 09:03 PM

There was a lady who triplets begat
Nat, Pat and Tat
It was fun breeding
But trouble feeding
Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.

cmitch · 01-25-2013, 10:21 PM

There was once a magician named Magoo,
Who practiced a trick that was new.
He reached in his hat,
Where the rabbit had shat,
And came out with a hand full of doo.

________

A nun from east Amsterdam,
Had a caboose as tight as a clam.
A lass slipped in his thumb,
That surely was dumb,
Now he's gotten in one helluva jam.

icehog3 · 01-25-2013, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmitch

A nun from east Amsterdam,
Had a caboose as tight as a clam.
A lass slipped in his thumb,
That surely was dumb,
Now he's gotten in one helluva jam.

That would be "her" thumb if it's a lass.

shark · 01-27-2013, 11:43 AM

There was a young fellow named Perkin
Who was always jerkin' his gherkin
His father said "Perkin
Stop jerkin your gherkin
Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin!"

01-25-2013, 06:46 PM	#1
cmitch Heads up get down Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Clayton Location: NW Alabama by the river Posts: 2,720 Trading: (25)	Not Quite Limericks In the nights of old and the sky was blue, through the dark alleys the sh!t wagons flew. A bump was hit and a cry was heard, a man was killed by a flying turd. ______ She offered her honor; He honored her offer; And all night long He was on her and off her! ______ Here lay the grave of Micheal O'Day Who died maintaining his right of way. His right was clear, his will was strong But he is just as dead, As if he were wrong ______ Humpty Dumpty Sat On The Wall Humpty Dumpty Had A Great Fall All The Kings Horses And All The Kings Men Could Not Put Humpty Dumpty Together Again So They Made a HUGE A$$ OMELETTE! __________________ No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.

01-25-2013, 07:04 PM	#2
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,261 Trading: (60)	Re: Not Quite Limericks Some purty good ones there. __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

01-25-2013, 09:03 PM	#3
SvilleKid Yes I am a Pirate Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 33°46′08″N 86°28′16″W / 33.76895°N 86.471037°W Posts: 2,776 Trading: (52)	Re: Not Quite Limericks There was a lady who triplets begat Nat, Pat and Tat It was fun breeding But trouble feeding Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat. __________________ Ceilin' fan it stirs the air, Cigar smoke does swirl. The fragrance on the pillow case, and he thinks about the girl. Thanks, JB, 1975.

01-25-2013, 10:21 PM	#4
cmitch Heads up get down Join Date: Oct 2010 First Name: Clayton Location: NW Alabama by the river Posts: 2,720 Trading: (25)	Re: Not Quite Limericks There was once a magician named Magoo, Who practiced a trick that was new. He reached in his hat, Where the rabbit had shat, And came out with a hand full of doo. ________ A nun from east Amsterdam, Had a caboose as tight as a clam. A lass slipped in his thumb, That surely was dumb, Now he's gotten in one helluva jam. __________________ No matter what one's status is in society, cigars are the great equalizer where the affluent and common share a love for the leaf. - Me.

01-27-2013, 11:43 AM	#6
shark Cigar Smokin' Patriot Join Date: Sep 2009 First Name: Ron Location: Michigan Posts: 3,559 Trading: (0)	Re: Not Quite Limericks There was a young fellow named Perkin Who was always jerkin' his gherkin His father said "Perkin Stop jerkin your gherkin Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin!" __________________ Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery None but ourselves can free our minds