Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-06-2021, 09:58 AM   #1
retired
Adjusting to the Life
 
retired's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2020
First Name: lenny
Location: Kanuckistan..for now
Posts: 372
Trading: (0)
retired will become famous soon enough
Default langwidg

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
__________________
smoke 'em if ya got 'em
Hard to believe I beat out 2 million other sperm
retired is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-2021, 10:09 AM   #2
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,623
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default Re: langwidg

yah, yah, das is korekt

__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-2021, 04:26 PM   #3
Porch Dweller
Life is for living
 
Porch Dweller's Avatar
11
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
First Name: James
Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast
Posts: 8,403
Trading: (24)
Bolivar AirForce (Retired)
Porch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to beholdPorch Dweller is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: langwidg

__________________
A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone
Porch Dweller is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-06-2021, 06:03 PM   #4
CigarNut
F*ck Cancer!
 
CigarNut's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Michael
Location: Clermont, Florida
Posts: 18,042
Trading: (111)
RA
CigarNut has disabled reputation
Default Re: langwidg

__________________
Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags?

2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.
CigarNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.