Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-17-2010, 09:50 PM   #1
Col. Kurtz
Have My Own Room
 
Col. Kurtz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
First Name: Jerry
Location: South Appleton
Posts: 1,839
Trading: (26)
RA
Col. Kurtz has a spectacular aura aboutCol. Kurtz has a spectacular aura aboutCol. Kurtz has a spectacular aura about
Default Have you ever danced?

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?" The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well,
you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands, as he quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No sir..... but... I've always wanted to."


There are a few lessons for us all here:



Never be arrogant.

Don't waste ammunition.

Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.


I just love a story with a happy ending, don't you?

__________________
Artillery Lends Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be a Vulgar Brawl
Col. Kurtz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2010, 10:22 PM   #2
CasaDooley
Herf Crew of 2
 
CasaDooley's Avatar
4
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Kevin
Location: The birthplace of Fathers Day
Posts: 2,465
Trading: (41)
HUpmann Navy (Disabled Vet)
CasaDooley has a spectacular aura aboutCasaDooley has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Have you ever danced?

Good one!
I may just have to make this my sig line-Don't mess with old men, they didn't get old by being stupid.
__________________
Founding member of the Lilac City Dedicated Herfers
CasaDooley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-17-2010, 11:13 PM   #3
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: Have you ever danced?

__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2010, 09:43 PM   #4
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Have you ever danced?

Made my wife think of Gran Torino.
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2010, 11:38 PM   #5
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Have you ever danced?

Nice!!
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2010, 12:16 AM   #6
Steve
Dad Jokester Supreme
 
Steve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Steve
Location: 17 R 435648 3354895
Posts: 7,715
Trading: (6)
HdM
Steve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud ofSteve has much to be proud of
Default Re: Have you ever danced?



Old Guys Rule!!
__________________
...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied,
Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide
Steve is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:32 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.