Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-05-2008, 12:05 PM   #1
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,726
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default How to install a home security system:

1. Go to the Goodwill Store and buy a pair of men's work boots, size 14-16 (well used).

2. Place them on the front porch along with a copy of Gun and Ammo magazine.

3. Put a couple of BIG dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba!

Big Jim, Duke, Slim and Me gone for more ammo. We'll get back in about 1 hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls--they got after the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all the dogs in the house.

Better just wait outside till we get back.

Cooter
G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2008, 12:17 PM   #2
SmokeyJoe
Chief Wannastogie Lounge
 
SmokeyJoe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Joe
Location: Raleigh, NC
Posts: 3,163
Trading: (28)
VR
SmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud ofSmokeyJoe has much to be proud of
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Very funny... sent this to a couple of friends who have had break-ins recently.
SmokeyJoe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2008, 01:57 PM   #3
theycallmedan'lboone
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

very nice!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2008, 02:01 PM   #4
GKitty
JAFO
 
GKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Crystal
Location: Olathe, KS
Posts: 1,938
Trading: (8)
HdM
GKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really niceGKitty is just really nice
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Priceless!!
__________________
A lost SOTL wandering the weird landscape of domesticity.
GKitty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2008, 02:11 PM   #5
Tombstone
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Whats funny is i have most of those things on my front porch already.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-05-2008, 11:58 PM   #6
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

I Like it.
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 06:11 AM   #7
Mark C
Feeling at Home
 
Mark C's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: SE PA
Posts: 674
Trading: (4)
Mark C is on a distinguished road
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

I went to a guy's house a few months ago, he had the best doormat I've ever seen.

It read 'Forget the dog, beware of owner' with a picture of the business end of a revolver. If I ever see that in the store, it's goin' home with me.
Mark C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 06:16 AM   #8
joeybear
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

It's nice to laugh early in the morning!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 07:19 AM   #9
dunng
MassHole
 
dunng's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: MassHole
Posts: 4,719
Trading: (59)
Bolivar
dunng has disabled reputation
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Nice!
__________________
MassHole Banter
dunng is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 07:29 AM   #10
Tombstone
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark C View Post
I went to a guy's house a few months ago, he had the best doormat I've ever seen.

It read 'Forget the dog, beware of owner' with a picture of the business end of a revolver. If I ever see that in the store, it's goin' home with me.

Let us know if anyone can find a link that sells that doormat.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 08:09 AM   #11
feznuk
Fish On!
 
feznuk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Fred
Location: Philadelphia
Posts: 70
Trading: (1)
Bolivar
feznuk is on a distinguished road
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Looks like you may be able to pick one up on ebay:

Badass Doormat
feznuk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-06-2008, 08:28 PM   #12
Molarman777
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Great joke!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2008, 06:46 AM   #13
Mark C
Feeling at Home
 
Mark C's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: SE PA
Posts: 674
Trading: (4)
Mark C is on a distinguished road
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Quote:
Originally Posted by feznuk View Post
Looks like you may be able to pick one up on ebay:

Badass Doormat
Awesome, thanks!
Mark C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2008, 05:11 PM   #14
Silound
ex-CS Swamp Gorilla
 
Silound's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Somewhere in a swamp, south of sanity
Posts: 802
Trading: (15)
Bolivar
Silound will become famous soon enough
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Heh, seen that before.
__________________
Back in black, and better than ever! You can't keep a good gorilla down!
LSU Geaux Tigers!
Silound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2008, 09:01 PM   #15
Starscream
Knowhutimean, Vern?
 
Starscream's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Andy
Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA
Posts: 10,237
Trading: (4)
Partagas
Starscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to beholdStarscream is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: How to install a home security system:

Nice. And it just might work too!
__________________

Insert quote here.
Starscream is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:54 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.