It was one of three things.

replicant_argent · 01-26-2011, 07:54 AM

I woke up last night at 2 AM.
I couldn't figure out why.
It was quiet. But not the usual quiet.
My wife had finally fallen asleep after hacking and coughing as we both had for the past few weeks. I really didn't know what was up, but by sitting bolt upright, I of course woke her up.
It was a humming. I strained to see if I could locate it.
The dogs weren't reacting in any way.
A low throbbing humming. Not the usual high pitched tinnitus I hear.
I got out of bed, turned off the ceiling fan. Nope, not it.
My wife asks me, "What are you doing?"
"Can you hear that?"
"No."
"That humming sound."
"That?"
"No, that was the furnace."
"You look like an idiot."
(I shake my head back and forth quickly, and hear a clanging in my head. This, of course, concerned me, and the noise didn't go away, yet was a different concern. Great.)
Hands to my ears, standing in the middle of the bedroom, shirtless, crazy Bozo the Clown hair, cocking my head like a dog at a silent whistle concert. I agreed, of course. Stalking downstairs, tracking through the kitchen, basement, mud room, kitchen, half naked and in a ready crouch, I wouldn't want to see the video. Back upstairs.
"I swear there is a noise, and if you can't hear it, I am either insane, the alien chip has been activated in my skull, or you just can't hear it"
At this point, my wife informs me that she had finally gotten into a restful sleep before I had awoken her. And was now quite awake, thank you very much.
"Sorry."
We both laid there for a while, trying to go back to sleep, me trying to convince myself I was developing a 6th sense or something. No dice.
The GSP demanded coming under the comforter. I obliged. Pulled the little Tootsie Factory heater close in her Bagel Dog configuration to my chest to relieve the chill.
Stopped....

Listened....

The noise had stopped.

A few seconds later, Beth says.
"I hear it."

"Good, the aliens have switched off my chip and turned yours on, Goodnight honey."

I still haven't figured it out, but fully intend to make sure I have tinfoil hats for Beth, the dogs, and myself tonight.

357 · 01-26-2011, 08:06 AM

Usually it's my wife waking me for such "excursions" where she demends that I do a full search of our house, pistol and flashlight in hand. I'm sure the neighbors probably think we get robbed on a weekly basis.

68TriShield · 01-26-2011, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by replicant_argent

My wife had finally fallen asleep after hacking and coughing as we both had for the past few weeks.

Not taking the EpiCor eh...

Starscream · 01-26-2011, 08:49 AM

Maybe the tv? Nothing on the screen but black, yet the tv is on and has a humming sound. Does it to me sometimes and I have to figure out what the noise is.

awsmith4 · 01-26-2011, 08:54 AM

Check your PS3 as well. One night my wife was up and swore we had a humming and something scurrying around in the living room. It was the PS3

Or maybe the voices in your head just ran out of things to say and started humming

GolfNut · 01-26-2011, 08:56 AM

Man I hate stuff like that. I have tinnitus so there's always a symphony going on in my head, but I'm used to it so when something new comes along, it gets my attention.

My full vote goes toward alien chip activation. I've told my wife for years I think I have one. Every now and then it goes off with a crystal clear dinging sound. Kind of like the keys in ignition but door is open but much higher frequency.

I call it my stress meter. Usually happens when the kids get themselves in trouble. My dinger goes off. lol

I think if I was in bed with my wife, and I heard a humming it would be for a whole different reason.

MajorCaptSilly · 01-26-2011, 09:00 AM

Sounds like one of my surveillance devices may be malfunctioning. I'll sneak in today and get it fixed. BTW: your milk is 2 days from expiration and your car is due for tire rotation.

MCS

shilala · 01-26-2011, 09:19 AM

After about a thousand trips around the house in the middle of the night for intruders such as the cat, garbage truck, pictures falling off the wall from crappy screws in the drywall, creaks and pops from the house settling, and a whole assortment of life threatening nothingnesses, I got a tower electrostatic air cleaner that doesn't clean anything. What it does do is sound like a jet engine winding up. Apparantly it scares the hell out of that stuff that's trying to get us.

CasaDooley · 01-26-2011, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

Sounds like one of my surveillance devices may be malfunctioning. I'll sneak in today and get it fixed. BTW: your milk is 2 days from expiration and your car is due for tire rotation.

MCS

pektel · 01-26-2011, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by awsmith4

Or maybe the voices in your head just ran out of things to say and started humming

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

Sounds like one of my surveillance devices may be malfunctioning. I'll sneak in today and get it fixed. BTW: your milk is 2 days from expiration and your car is due for tire rotation.

MCS

chand · 01-26-2011, 10:53 AM

I always answer "car door" when my fiancee asks about noises. After the 3rd or 4th time she stopped believing me. Now I have to go look.

Bill86 · 01-26-2011, 11:14 AM

You guys are nuts. I just keep a loaded shotgun and AR-15 next to the bed. If I wake up and hear something I would imagine the sound of the gun chambering would scare the piss out of anyone in the house. I've only gotten up once at night due to sound outside the house. I got the AR-15 and quark light and made my way around...nothing. I guess one of the crazy neighbors killed a skunk at 3am.

kaisersozei · 01-26-2011, 12:10 PM

We have a floor fan. Drowns out all the noises that would otherwise wake us up. We call it the Magical Fan of Slumber. One has been in use in my bedroom since 1981. I figure if someone wants to sneak into our room at night and kill me or abduct me, I'd rather not know about it.

Whipper Snapper · 01-26-2011, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

Sounds like one of my surveillance devices may be malfunctioning. I'll sneak in today and get it fixed. BTW: your milk is 2 days from expiration and your car is due for tire rotation.

MCS

Your posts never cease to entertain and amuse me

kelmac07 · 01-26-2011, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tecnorobo

Your posts never cease to entertain and amuse me

Thoroughly enjoyed this one...too funny.

BloodSpite · 01-26-2011, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill86

You guys are nuts. I just keep a loaded shotgun and AR-15 next to the bed. If I wake up and hear something I would imagine the sound of the gun chambering would scare the piss out of anyone in the house. I've only gotten up once at night due to sound outside the house. I got the AR-15 and quark light and made my way around...nothing. I guess one of the crazy neighbors killed a skunk at 3am.

I am a firm believer in the axiom "No One Argues with a 12 gauge in the Dark."

landhoney · 01-26-2011, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by replicant_argent

I Pulled the little Tootsie Factory heater close in her Bagel Dog configuration to my chest to relieve the chill.

What in the world does this mean? Is it Latin?

01-26-2011, 01:43 PM

Been there before!

Steve · 01-26-2011, 01:58 PM

My wife has a coffee maker with a built in grinder you can program to start at a set time. When it starts up it makes a racket. Somehow I guess she set the damn thring wrong one night. I came out of a perfectly sound sleep to armageddon raging and had no idea what the heck it was. I about blew the thing away with the 870 before I realized what was going on, then I was tempted to blast it anyway when I did figure out what was going on!

357 · 01-26-2011, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steve

My wife has a coffee maker with a built in grinder you can program to start at a set time. When it starts up it makes a racket. Somehow I guess she set the damn thring wrong one night. I came out of a perfectly sound sleep to armageddon raging and had no idea what the heck it was. I about blew the thing away with the 870 before I realized what was going on, then I was tempted to blast it anyway when I did figure out what was going on!

01-26-2011, 07:54 AM	#1
replicant_argent Gravy Boat Winnah. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Pete Location: my attorney has advised against giving this information to insane people Posts: 5,326 Trading: (22)	It was one of three things. I woke up last night at 2 AM. I couldn't figure out why. It was quiet. But not the usual quiet. My wife had finally fallen asleep after hacking and coughing as we both had for the past few weeks. I really didn't know what was up, but by sitting bolt upright, I of course woke her up. It was a humming. I strained to see if I could locate it. The dogs weren't reacting in any way. A low throbbing humming. Not the usual high pitched tinnitus I hear. I got out of bed, turned off the ceiling fan. Nope, not it. My wife asks me, "What are you doing?" "Can you hear that?" "No." "That humming sound." "That?" "No, that was the furnace." "You look like an idiot." (I shake my head back and forth quickly, and hear a clanging in my head. This, of course, concerned me, and the noise didn't go away, yet was a different concern. Great.) Hands to my ears, standing in the middle of the bedroom, shirtless, crazy Bozo the Clown hair, cocking my head like a dog at a silent whistle concert. I agreed, of course. Stalking downstairs, tracking through the kitchen, basement, mud room, kitchen, half naked and in a ready crouch, I wouldn't want to see the video. Back upstairs. "I swear there is a noise, and if you can't hear it, I am either insane, the alien chip has been activated in my skull, or you just can't hear it" At this point, my wife informs me that she had finally gotten into a restful sleep before I had awoken her. And was now quite awake, thank you very much. "Sorry." We both laid there for a while, trying to go back to sleep, me trying to convince myself I was developing a 6th sense or something. No dice. The GSP demanded coming under the comforter. I obliged. Pulled the little Tootsie Factory heater close in her Bagel Dog configuration to my chest to relieve the chill. Stopped.... Listened.... The noise had stopped. A few seconds later, Beth says. "I hear it." "Good, the aliens have switched off my chip and turned yours on, Goodnight honey." I still haven't figured it out, but fully intend to make sure I have tinfoil hats for Beth, the dogs, and myself tonight. __________________ www.stogietorch.com Some days call for a stiff Pomade. Last edited by replicant_argent; 01-26-2011 at 08:03 AM.

01-26-2011, 08:06 AM	#2
357 Will herf for food Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mike Location: Home is where I park it Posts: 4,075 Trading: (9)	Re: It was one of three things. Usually it's my wife waking me for such "excursions" where she demends that I do a full search of our house, pistol and flashlight in hand. I'm sure the neighbors probably think we get robbed on a weekly basis. __________________ “Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar;” Mark Twain

01-26-2011, 08:49 AM	#4
Starscream Knowhutimean, Vern? Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Andy Location: In a little town somewhere in the USA Posts: 10,237 Trading: (4)	Re: It was one of three things. Maybe the tv? Nothing on the screen but black, yet the tv is on and has a humming sound. Does it to me sometimes and I have to figure out what the noise is. __________________ Insert quote here.

01-26-2011, 08:54 AM	#5
awsmith4 Simple Pleasures - 2oL Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Albert Location: Marietta, Georgia Posts: 4,602 Trading: (111)	Re: It was one of three things. Check your PS3 as well. One night my wife was up and swore we had a humming and something scurrying around in the living room. It was the PS3 Or maybe the voices in your head just ran out of things to say and started humming __________________ Its THIS easy to support our troops

01-26-2011, 08:56 AM	#6
GolfNut Back in the woodshop! Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Forrest Location: Living room Posts: 1,361 Trading: (38)	Re: It was one of three things. Man I hate stuff like that. I have tinnitus so there's always a symphony going on in my head, but I'm used to it so when something new comes along, it gets my attention. My full vote goes toward alien chip activation. I've told my wife for years I think I have one. Every now and then it goes off with a crystal clear dinging sound. Kind of like the keys in ignition but door is open but much higher frequency. I call it my stress meter. Usually happens when the kids get themselves in trouble. My dinger goes off. lol I think if I was in bed with my wife, and I heard a humming it would be for a whole different reason. __________________ www.wineadors.com

01-26-2011, 09:00 AM	#7
MajorCaptSilly Sklee Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Location: Mishawaka, IN Posts: 2,523 Trading: (30)	Re: It was one of three things. Sounds like one of my surveillance devices may be malfunctioning. I'll sneak in today and get it fixed. BTW: your milk is 2 days from expiration and your car is due for tire rotation. MCS __________________ Pillsbury, Minneapolis, Prince, Spoon Bridge and Cherry, coinkydink?

01-26-2011, 09:19 AM	#8
shilala Dear Lord, Thank You. Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Scott Posts: 13,721 Trading: (252)	Re: It was one of three things. After about a thousand trips around the house in the middle of the night for intruders such as the cat, garbage truck, pictures falling off the wall from crappy screws in the drywall, creaks and pops from the house settling, and a whole assortment of life threatening nothingnesses, I got a tower electrostatic air cleaner that doesn't clean anything. What it does do is sound like a jet engine winding up. Apparantly it scares the hell out of that stuff that's trying to get us. __________________

01-26-2011, 10:53 AM	#11
chand Adjusting to the Life Join Date: Jan 2011 First Name: Damian Location: Dover, DE Posts: 470 Trading: (22)	Re: It was one of three things. I always answer "car door" when my fiancee asks about noises. After the 3rd or 4th time she stopped believing me. Now I have to go look.

01-26-2011, 11:14 AM	#12
Bill86 Snob Join Date: Jul 2010 First Name: Bill Posts: 6,704 Trading: (67)	Re: It was one of three things. You guys are nuts. I just keep a loaded shotgun and AR-15 next to the bed. If I wake up and hear something I would imagine the sound of the gun chambering would scare the piss out of anyone in the house. I've only gotten up once at night due to sound outside the house. I got the AR-15 and quark light and made my way around...nothing. I guess one of the crazy neighbors killed a skunk at 3am.

01-26-2011, 12:10 PM	#13
kaisersozei The Homebrew Hammer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gerard Location: Midlothian, VA Posts: 3,183 Trading: (40)	Re: It was one of three things. We have a floor fan. Drowns out all the noises that would otherwise wake us up. We call it the Magical Fan of Slumber. One has been in use in my bedroom since 1981. I figure if someone wants to sneak into our room at night and kill me or abduct me, I'd rather not know about it. __________________

01-26-2011, 01:43 PM	#18
mpd340 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: It was one of three things. Been there before!

01-26-2011, 01:58 PM	#19
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: It was one of three things. My wife has a coffee maker with a built in grinder you can program to start at a set time. When it starts up it makes a racket. Somehow I guess she set the damn thring wrong one night. I came out of a perfectly sound sleep to armageddon raging and had no idea what the heck it was. I about blew the thing away with the 870 before I realized what was going on, then I was tempted to blast it anyway when I did figure out what was going on! __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide