Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-25-2011, 12:20 PM   #1
markem
Bunion
 
markem's Avatar
16
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Mark
Location: Second Star on the Right
Posts: 22,621
Trading: (47)
HUpmann
markem has disabled reputation
Default The light turned yellow

The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car."
__________________
I refuse to belong to any organization that would have me as a member.
~ Groucho Marx
markem is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 01:04 PM   #2
GolfNut
Back in the woodshop!
 
GolfNut's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Forrest
Location: Living room
Posts: 1,361
Trading: (38)
Partagas
GolfNut has a spectacular aura aboutGolfNut has a spectacular aura aboutGolfNut has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: The light turned yellow

__________________
www.wineadors.com
GolfNut is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 01:31 PM   #3
Sled Dog
Still Watching My Back
 
Sled Dog's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
First Name: Tim
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 198
Trading: (0)
Sled Dog is on a distinguished road
Default Re: The light turned yellow

Funny.... b/c it's true.
Sled Dog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 01:55 PM   #4
shilala
Dear Lord, Thank You.
 
shilala's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Scott
Posts: 13,721
Trading: (252)
Cuaba
shilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond reputeshilala has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: The light turned yellow

lolzers
__________________
shilala is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 02:33 PM   #5
cort
◤◢◣◥
 
cort's Avatar
3
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Gary
Posts: 4,478
Trading: (41)
cort has disabled reputation
Default Re: The light turned yellow

yup
cort is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 03:01 PM   #6
N2 GOLD
MIND OVER MATTER...
 
N2 GOLD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
First Name: RICO
Location: So. CAL 33° 44' 44" N / 117° 52' 0" W
Posts: 2,330
Trading: (1)
SCdlH
N2 GOLD will become famous soon enoughN2 GOLD will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The light turned yellow

That was good...
__________________
When I want your opinion, I'll give it to ya.
N2 GOLD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 03:07 PM   #7
Ogre
****CENSORED****
 
Ogre's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
First Name: Larry
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,068
Trading: (46)
Montecristo
Ogre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant futureOgre has a brilliant future
Default Re: The light turned yellow

Wish that would really happen!!!
__________________
Ogre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-25-2011, 04:27 PM   #8
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: The light turned yellow

__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2011, 11:04 AM   #9
Skywalker
BABOTL
 
Skywalker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Dice
Location: Galaxy Far Far Away
Posts: 10,168
Trading: (18)
Partagas
Skywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud ofSkywalker has much to be proud of
Default Re: The light turned yellow

__________________

Smoke what you like!!!
Skywalker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2023, 02:24 PM   #10
RevSmoke
Ain't Never Gonna Leave
 
RevSmoke's Avatar
5
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Todd
Location: Northcentral woods of Wisconsin
Posts: 6,844
Trading: (51)
HUpmann
RevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant futureRevSmoke has a brilliant future
Default Re: The light turned yellow

Quote:
Originally Posted by markem View Post
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up..

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, "I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, so naturally....I assumed you had stolen the car."
Sorry, as a pastor, this is just hysterical!

I know it was buried, but I knew it was on CA somewhere and wanted it for another reason.

Peace of the Lord be with you.
__________________
Todd__ "Smoke what you like, and enjoy it!"
RevSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-07-2023, 10:37 PM   #11
Weelok
I'm nuts for the place
 
Weelok's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
First Name: Dave
Location: Reno, NV
Posts: 4,082
Trading: (21)
RA
Weelok has a spectacular aura aboutWeelok has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: The light turned yellow

Hah worth a revisit!!! Humor is what we need I say!!
__________________
Drink, pray, smoke, and work out.
Weelok is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2023, 08:28 AM   #12
yourchoice
Down the stretch
 
yourchoice's Avatar
7
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Joel
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 4,091
Trading: (36)
Cohiba
yourchoice has disabled reputation
Default Re: The light turned yellow

A worthy thread bump, Rev!
yourchoice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2023, 11:18 AM   #13
Havanaaddict
Man in Black!!!
 
Havanaaddict's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: V.I.P Room Partagas Factory
Posts: 3,443
Trading: (1)
Havanaaddict will become famous soon enoughHavanaaddict will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The light turned yellow

__________________
"If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions." "Hav-a-na nice day"
Havanaaddict is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2023, 10:18 PM   #14
MaytagMan
Adjusting to the Life
 
MaytagMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2023
First Name: Bill
Location: Modesto, CA
Posts: 372
Trading: (1)
VR
MaytagMan will become famous soon enough
Default Re: The light turned yellow

Hahahahaha!!!!!
__________________
"Me fail English? Unpossible!"
IG Accts | cigars: @hiramsherfers | personal: @dad_of_alex | bizarre news: @newswithbill
MaytagMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:20 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.