Tasteless Holiday Jokes !!!

[Tio Gato]

Originally Posted by cmitch

Why doesn't Santa have any children?

He only comes once a year.

And when he does it's down the chimney.

[MajorCaptSilly]

Three of Santa's best elves entered a competition to make the most train sets for the good little boys and girls. The rules were very easy: The elf who makes the most working train sets in an hour wins the "Top Elf" trophy. This was a grand occassion. All of the elfs and Santa himself were in the audience.

The three best elves were perched on a riser in the middle of all the spectators. They each had their own table. tools, and enough wood to make hundreds of train sets. With each elf ready to build, Santa climbed the riser with a starter pistol to get the event rolling. "Elves, you may start building when the pistol fires! One-Two-Three.....BANG! went the pistol."

The first two elves started building train sets at a feverish pace. Their styles while different, were quite effective. The first elf carved out all the tracks he could fit on his table, then carved the train bodies, then the wheels and went on to the next batch. The second elf completed his train sets one at a time but was very quick. The first two elves were neck and neck to the delight of the audience. At least 70 train sets were completed by each elf with 5 minutes to go.

The third elf was moving at a much slower pace. So slow, in fact, that by near the end of the competition, he had made only one train set. After the set was completed, he kept running his index finger around the length of the track while holding the train engine in his other hand staring absently at the wheels.

The competition came to and end. There was indeed a winner. Freddy the elf had finished his 73rd train set as the shot rang out signalling the two-hour mark. Freddy had beat Vernon the elf by just one train set. There were cheers in the audience as Freddy had beat the competiton record by four train sets!

After all the trophy was given to Freddy and the commotion had wore down, Santa pulled aside the third elf named Chauncy and asked him point-blank "What happened today?" Chauncy looked up at Santa with disinterested stare and said "I've been reading a lot of Sartre lately".

MCS

[MajorCaptSilly]

Originally Posted by MajorCaptSilly

Three of Santa's best elves entered a competition to make the most train sets for the good little boys and girls. The rules were very easy: The elf who makes the most working train sets in an hour wins the "Top Elf" trophy. This was a grand occassion. All of the elfs and Santa himself were in the audience.

The three best elves were perched on a riser in the middle of all the spectators. They each had their own table. tools, and enough wood to make hundreds of train sets. With each elf ready to build, Santa climbed the riser with a starter pistol to get the event rolling. "Elves, you may start building when the pistol fires! One-Two-Three.....BANG! went the pistol."

The first two elves started building train sets at a feverish pace. Their styles while different, were quite effective. The first elf carved out all the tracks he could fit on his table, then carved the train bodies, then the wheels and went on to the next batch. The second elf completed his train sets one at a time but was very quick. The first two elves were neck and neck to the delight of the audience. At least 70 train sets were completed by each elf with 5 minutes to go.

The third elf was moving at a much slower pace. So slow, in fact, that by near the end of the competition, he had made only one train set. After the set was completed, he kept running his index finger around the length of the track while holding the train engine in his other hand staring absently at the wheels.

The competition came to and end. There was indeed a winner. Freddy the elf had finished his 73rd train set as the shot rang out signalling the two-hour mark. Freddy had beat Vernon the elf by just one train set. There were cheers in the audience as Freddy had beat the competiton record by four train sets!

After all the trophy was given to Freddy and the commotion had wore down, Santa pulled aside the third elf named Chauncy and asked him point-blank "What happened today?" Chauncy looked up at Santa with disinterested stare and said "I've been reading a lot of Sartre lately".

MCS

....and that is how you kill a thread baybeeee!


MCS