Dead Duck

kaisersozei · 07-28-2010, 11:58 AM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom.

He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat.

The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill.

"150 dollars?!" she cried, "150 dollars just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the CAT scan, it's now $150."

Blindjimme · 07-28-2010, 12:00 PM

Ha! I like it

Volt · 07-28-2010, 12:02 PM

Ok Gerard.... with jokes like that you need bombing again.

JaKaacH · 07-28-2010, 12:04 PM

Good one..In the wrong thread thou..

bvilchez · 07-28-2010, 12:08 PM

That was good.

07-28-2010, 12:09 PM

Funny.

kelmac07 · 07-28-2010, 12:24 PM

Nice!!

lbowles2 · 07-29-2010, 02:02 PM

Yep... that's funny...

hotreds · 07-29-2010, 02:07 PM

G G · 07-29-2010, 02:10 PM

Ogre · 07-29-2010, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Volt

Ok Gerard.... with jokes like that you need bombing again.

Bombing?? Did someone say Bombing????
Cute joke Gerard

07-28-2010, 11:58 AM	#1
kaisersozei The Homebrew Hammer Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Gerard Location: Midlothian, VA Posts: 3,183 Trading: (40)	Dead Duck A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "150 dollars?!" she cried, "150 dollars just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab report and the CAT scan, it's now $150." __________________

07-28-2010, 12:00 PM	#2
Blindjimme Judgement Impaired Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: JB Location: North OC, CA Posts: 790 Trading: (14)	Re: Dead Duck Ha! I like it

07-28-2010, 12:02 PM	#3
Volt I'm nuts for the place Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 2,799 Trading: (19)	Re: Dead Duck Ok Gerard.... with jokes like that you need bombing again. __________________ Curing the infection... One bullet at a time.

07-28-2010, 12:04 PM	#4
JaKaacH ROCK Chalk JAYHAWK K U Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Jeff Location: Living in the golden age of ignorance in power. Posts: 1,363 Trading: (32)	Re: Dead Duck Good one..In the wrong thread thou.. __________________ --Anger Management Graduate-- WHAT the F^#% you looking at???

07-28-2010, 12:08 PM	#5
bvilchez En búsqueda..... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Bolivar aka Jay Location: Back in SoCal Posts: 3,202 Trading: (76)	Re: Dead Duck That was good.

07-28-2010, 12:09 PM	#6
mariogolbee Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Dead Duck Funny.

07-28-2010, 12:24 PM	#7
kelmac07 Resident Maduro Whore!! Join Date: Apr 2009 First Name: Mac Location: Newport News, VA Posts: 27,322 Trading: (218)	Re: Dead Duck Nice!! __________________ Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"

07-29-2010, 02:02 PM	#8
lbowles2 Luv me some broadleaf!! Join Date: Jun 2010 First Name: Larry Location: Topeka KS Posts: 887 Trading: (84)	Re: Dead Duck Yep... that's funny... __________________ Larry

07-29-2010, 02:07 PM	#9
hotreds Ephesians 2:8 Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 5 miles past "Resume Speed" Posts: 11,662 Trading: (63)	Re: Dead Duck __________________ God loves you so much, that he made you read this, just to let you know.

07-29-2010, 02:10 PM	#10
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,720 Trading: (10)	Re: Dead Duck