Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum  

Go Back   Cigar Asylum Cigar Forum > Non Cigar Specialty Forums > Misc > Jokes

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-14-2010, 10:06 PM   #1
CBI_2
Have My Own Room
 
CBI_2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Paul
Location: In my skin.
Posts: 2,066
Trading: (0)
CBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the roughCBI_2 is a jewel in the rough
Default Installing Your Husband

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate



DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support
__________________
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants." Albert Camus Cool Cigar Themed Stuff
CBI_2 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2010, 10:09 PM   #2
ChicagoWhiteSox
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

Hot Lingerie 7.7
  Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2010, 10:14 PM   #3
bscottskangum
Oh yeah, I'm awesome!
 
bscottskangum's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
First Name: Barry
Location: Hampton, VA
Posts: 681
Trading: (11)
Montecristo
bscottskangum will become famous soon enoughbscottskangum will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

i loled
bscottskangum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2010, 11:03 PM   #4
kelmac07
Resident Maduro Whore!!
 
kelmac07's Avatar
6
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
First Name: Mac
Location: Newport News, VA
Posts: 27,322
Trading: (218)
Bolivar Army (Retired)
kelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond reputekelmac07 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

Nice!!
__________________
Dom in the MLB thread "I could probably get you to wear a Yankee hat for a Maduro!"
kelmac07 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2010, 02:26 AM   #5
colimo
friend of Brother Maynard
 
colimo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
First Name: doug
Location: centennial, colorado
Posts: 1,322
Trading: (41)
PL
colimo will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

__________________
Life is too short for cheap beer, cheap liguor and bad cigars...gimme a guinness, glenlivet and a good cigar on a golf course and its heaven on earth!!
colimo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-15-2010, 06:54 AM   #6
Chris.
PSHC!
 
Chris.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 1,842
Trading: (25)
Partagas
Chris. will become famous soon enoughChris. will become famous soon enough
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

LOL, that's pretty good!
Chris. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-16-2010, 07:36 PM   #7
G G
BR549
 
G G's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
First Name: Greg
Location: Taylor, FL.
Posts: 12,726
Trading: (10)
Bolivar
G G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant futureG G has a brilliant future
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

G G is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2010, 09:40 AM   #8
NeverEnoughStick
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: Installing Your Husband

  Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:09 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
All content is copyrighted jointly by Cigar Asylum and the content provider.