A retired Marine Colonel told me this one tonite

[cmitch]

A Navy fighter pilot had an emergency and had to eject from an A4. When he was retrieved, the medical staff was top notch in addressing all his injuries save for him missing his right ear.
Seeing that he was not physically impaired, he got to continue as a fighter pilot and was later promoted to Rear Admiral. Part of his perk was he got to select an assistant who held the rank of E9 from the Navy or Marines. 3 gentlmen made it to the final interview, two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Master Sargeant.
His first interview was with one of the Master Chiefs. The interview went amazingly well but the Admiral had one final question. He asked the Master Chief “Do you see anything different about me that you don’t see in anyone else?”
The Master Chief replied, “Yes sir! I see you’re missing your right ear.”
Well this pissed off the admiral because he seen it as an untactful response and threw him out of his office.
He called for the second Master Chief. That interview, too, went amazingly well until the admiral asked, “Do you see anything different about me that you don’t see in anyone else?”
The Master Chief replied,”Yes sir! You’re missing your right ear.”
The admiral was even more pissed at his lack of a dignified response so he threw him out as well.
Then he called for the Marine Master Sargeant. As he observed the Marine in the interview, he realized this man knew more than the two master chiefs put together. Then came the final question. “Master Sargeant! Do you see anything different about me that you don’t see in anyone else?”
“Yes sir!”, replied the marine.
“And what is that?”
“You are wearing contact lenses,” replied the Master Sergeant.
“Of all the things you observed, you noticed that first? How do you know I wear contact lenses?” asked the admiral.
“Well, sir. I figured there was no way you could wear glasses missing your right ear!”

[Porch Dweller]

LMAO, gotta love the Marines.

[icehog3]

[Old Sailor]

[markem]

Little Johnny’s neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Little Johnny looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.” “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.” The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.”

“Can he see?” asked Little Johnny. The mother proudly replied, “Yes… we are so thankful, the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision “

Little Johnny replied, “That’s great….cuz he’d be f****ed if he needed glasses.”

[shark]

Originally Posted by markem

Little Johnny’s neighbors had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital Johnny’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.

When Little Johnny looked in the crib he said, “What a beautiful baby.” “He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.” The mother said, “Why, thank you, Little Johnny.”

“Can he see?” asked Little Johnny. The mother proudly replied, “Yes… we are so thankful, the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision “

Little Johnny replied, “That’s great….cuz he’d be f****ed if he needed glasses.”

Well he's not entirely wrong.