That One About the Guy with the Ostrich

massphatness · 11-02-2017, 12:10 PM

A guy walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The guy says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $18.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and, without looking, pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again and the guy says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke."

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same."

Again the guy reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, "The usual?"

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad", says the guy.

"Me too," says the ostrich.

The waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $42.62."

Once again the guy pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer.

"Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"

"Well," says the guy, "several years ago I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the guy.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The guy sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

Porch Dweller · 11-02-2017, 12:34 PM

Steve · 11-02-2017, 12:49 PM

CigarNut · 11-02-2017, 01:07 PM

johnbljr · 11-02-2017, 01:30 PM

markem · 11-02-2017, 01:58 PM

BigAsh · 11-02-2017, 03:16 PM

icehog3 · 11-02-2017, 04:46 PM

G G · 11-02-2017, 05:02 PM

11-02-2017, 12:10 PM	#1
massphatness Where's my buffaloooo ... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Vin Location: MassHolia Posts: 12,690 Trading: (206)	That One About the Guy with the Ostrich A guy walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks for their orders. The guy says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich. A short time later the waitress returns with the order. "That will be $18.40 please." The man reaches into his pocket and, without looking, pulls out the exact change for payment. The next day, the guy and the ostrich come again and the guy says, "A hamburger, fries, and a coke." The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the guy reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until one night they enter the restaurant and the waitress asks, "The usual?" "No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato, and salad", says the guy. "Me too," says the ostrich. The waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $42.62." Once again the guy pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress can't hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?" "Well," says the guy, "several years ago I was cleaning my attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there." "That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!" "That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the guy. The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?" The guy sighs and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say." __________________ *Help Support The Navy SEAL Foundation: HERE*

11-02-2017, 12:34 PM	#2
Porch Dweller Life is for living Join Date: Oct 2012 First Name: James Location: Mississippi Gulf Coast Posts: 8,401 Trading: (24)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich __________________ A 1911 in the hand is faster than 911 on the phone

11-02-2017, 12:49 PM	#3
Steve Dad Jokester Supreme Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Steve Location: 17 R 435648 3354895 Posts: 7,715 Trading: (6)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich __________________ ...So don't sit upon the shoreline and say you're satisfied, Choose to chance the rapids and dare to dance that tide

11-02-2017, 01:07 PM	#4
CigarNut Fck Cancer! Join Date: Jan 2009 First Name: Michael Location: Clermont, Florida Posts: 18,042 Trading: (111*)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich __________________ Need Beads? Need Five Finger Bags? 2 of 3 Requirements for use of the CA Rolodex: 100 posts/ 60 day membership/ participation in trade (trader rating). New members can be added at any time.

11-02-2017, 01:30 PM	#5
johnbljr Still Watching My Back Join Date: Dec 2010 First Name: John Location: Cincinnati, OH Posts: 56 Trading: (1)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich

11-02-2017, 01:58 PM	#6
markem Bunion Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Mark Location: Second Star on the Right Posts: 22,622 Trading: (47)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich

11-02-2017, 03:16 PM	#7
BigAsh Don't knock the Ash... Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Keith Location: Yardley, PA Posts: 5,046 Trading: (46)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich __________________ Keith

11-02-2017, 04:46 PM	#8
icehog3 Admiral Douchebag Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Tom Location: Clermont, Kentucky Posts: 71,304 Trading: (60)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich __________________ Thanks Dave, Julian, James, Kelly, Peter, Gerry, Dave, Mo, Frank, Týr and Mr. Mark!

11-02-2017, 05:02 PM	#9
G G BR549 Join Date: Oct 2008 First Name: Greg Location: Taylor, FL. Posts: 12,726 Trading: (10)	Re: That One About the Guy with the Ostrich